Painter in the night| Changjin

Vase with flowers

Days blurred into nights, and time seemed to lose its meaning within the walls of Changbin's house. Hyunjin had retreated into himself, his once vibrant spirit now dulled by the weight of his guilt and despair. The therapist Changbin had arranged for him came regularly, a quiet, kind woman named Dr. Minji, who had been nothing but patient as she tried to guide Hyunjin through the maze of his own mind.

But progress was slow, and more often than not, Hyunjin's sessions ended with him retreating to his room, where he would spend hours lost in his paintings. The canvases were filled with dark, tormented images—distorted faces, twisted landscapes, and scenes that seemed to scream of the pain trapped inside him. Each stroke of his brush was a release, but it also seemed to draw him deeper into his despair.

Changbin worked from home during this time, his focus split between his own responsibilities and his growing concern for Hyunjin. He could hear the murmurs of conversation from Hyunjin's room during the therapy sessions, the soft cadence of Dr. Minji's voice mingling with Hyunjin's quieter responses. But there were also long stretches of silence, and Changbin could only imagine what was going on in Hyunjin's mind during those moments.

The house had become a place of quiet tension, filled with the echoes of things left unsaid. Changbin knew he should give Hyunjin space, let him work through his emotions in his own time, but it was hard. Every time he passed by Hyunjin's closed door, he had to resist the urge to check on him, to reassure himself that Hyunjin was still there, that he hadn't slipped away entirely.

One afternoon, as Changbin was working at his desk, the sound of a crash echoed through the house, sharp and jarring in the otherwise quiet space. His heart leaped into his throat, and he was on his feet before he even realized what he was doing, rushing toward the source of the noise.

He found Hyunjin in the living room, on his knees amidst the shattered remains of a vase that had once stood proudly on the mantle. Hyunjin was trembling, his hands hovering over the broken pieces as if he couldn't quite comprehend what had happened. Tears streamed down his face, silent and unchecked, as he reached out to gather the shards.

"Hyunjin," Changbin breathed, his voice thick with concern as he knelt beside him.

Hyunjin didn't seem to hear him. He continued to pick up the pieces, his hands shaking so badly that he couldn't hold onto them properly. Blood began to smear on the porcelain as the sharp edges cut into his skin, but Hyunjin didn't seem to notice. His focus was entirely on the broken vase, his tears falling onto the fragments as if he could somehow mend it by sheer will alone.

"I'm sorry," Hyunjin whispered, his voice hoarse with emotion. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... I just wanted to... I just..."

His words broke off into a sob, his body shaking as he finally let the pieces slip from his hands. He stared at them, horrified, as if the shattered vase was a symbol of everything that was wrong, everything that was broken inside him.

Changbin's heart ached at the sight. He reached out, gently taking Hyunjin's hands in his own, careful to avoid the cuts. "It's okay," he said softly, his voice steady despite the turmoil inside him. "It's just a vase, Hyunjin. It's not important."

But Hyunjin shook his head, his tears falling faster now. "No, it's not okay," he cried, his voice rising in pitch as panic set in. "I can't even do something as simple as... as putting a vase on a table. I'm useless. I'm broken. I'm... I'm..."

He broke down completely then, his body folding in on itself as he sobbed. Changbin wasted no time. He gently lifted Hyunjin from the floor, cradling him in his arms as if he were the most fragile thing in the world. He could feel the wetness of Hyunjin's tears soaking into his shirt, but he didn't care. All that mattered was getting Hyunjin away from the broken pieces, away from the pain that seemed to be overwhelming him.

"Shh, it's okay," Changbin murmured, holding Hyunjin close as he carried him to the bathroom. "It's okay, I've got you."

Hyunjin didn't resist. He clung to Changbin, his face buried in the older man's chest as he continued to cry. Changbin could feel Hyunjin's body trembling against him, and it broke his heart to see him like this, so lost, so vulnerable.

Once in the bathroom, Changbin set Hyunjin down on the counter, his hands moving quickly but gently as he grabbed the first aid kit from the cabinet. Hyunjin's fingers were bleeding from the cuts, and Changbin worked silently to clean and disinfect them, his own heart aching with every wince and flinch from Hyunjin.

As he wrapped the bandages around Hyunjin's fingers, Changbin couldn't hold back any longer. The words came tumbling out, raw and filled with emotion. "Hyunjin," he said quietly, his hands stilling as he looked up to meet Hyunjin's tear-filled gaze. "Please, don't do this to yourself. Don't hurt yourself like this. I can't... I can't bear to see you like this."

Hyunjin blinked through his tears, his lips quivering as he tried to speak. "I'm sorry," he whispered again, his voice so small, so broken. "I'm sorry I'm such a mess. I'm sorry I keep..."

"Stop," Changbin interrupted gently, his hands moving to cup Hyunjin's face, his thumbs brushing away the tears that continued to fall. "Stop apologizing. None of this is your fault, okay? You're going through something terrible, something no one should have to go through. But you're not alone. I'm here, Hyunjin. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere."

Hyunjin's breath hitched, his eyes wide and full of pain as he looked at Changbin. "Why?" he asked, his voice trembling. "Why do you care so much? I'm not worth it, Changbin. I'm just... I'm just a mess."

"Because I love you," Changbin said, the words slipping out before he could stop them. But once they were out, he didn't regret them. It was the truth, a truth he had been holding back for too long, and it needed to be said.

Hyunjin stared at him, stunned into silence. For a moment, it was as if the world had stopped, and there was only the two of them, locked in this moment of vulnerability and truth.

Changbin's heart pounded in his chest as he waited for Hyunjin to say something, anything. But when Hyunjin's eyes filled with fresh tears, Changbin felt a pang of fear. Had he said too much? Was it too soon?

But then Hyunjin's trembling hands reached up, gripping the front of Changbin's shirt as if he were afraid to let go. "You love me?" he whispered, his voice barely audible.

"Yes," Changbin said, his own voice shaking with emotion. "I love you, Hyunjin. I love you so much, and it kills me to see you like this. Please, don't do anything to hurt yourself. It would destroy me if anything happened to you."

Hyunjin let out a small, choked sob, his grip on Changbin's shirt tightening. "I... I don't know what to do," he confessed, his voice breaking. "I feel like I'm drowning, and I don't know how to stop it."

Changbin pulled him into a tight embrace, holding him as if he could shield him from the world. "You don't have to do it alone," he whispered into Hyunjin's hair. "I'm here, and I'll help you. We'll get through this together. I won't let you drown, Hyunjin. I promise."

For a long time, they stayed like that, clinging to each other as the weight of the world pressed down on them. Hyunjin's tears soaked into Changbin's shirt, but Changbin didn't care. All that mattered was that Hyunjin was here, in his arms, alive and safe.