Between Us (Lams modern college AU)

Chapter Eight

John's POV:

The days that followed were a blur of awkward silences and forced smiles. Every time I looked at Alex, I could see the turmoil in his eyes, and it killed me that I couldn't do anything to help. We still hung out with Laf and Herc, pretending like everything was fine, but the tension between us was undeniable.

I thought giving him space would make things easier, that maybe he'd come around on his own. But instead, it felt like we were drifting further apart. The connection we'd built, the spark that had made my heart race—it all seemed to be fading, and I didn't know how to stop it.

It was a Friday evening when everything came crashing down. We were in our dorm, the air thick with unspoken words. I was sitting at my desk, pretending to focus on my textbook, while Alex lay on his bed, scrolling through his phone. The silence between us was suffocating.

I couldn't take it anymore. "Alex, we need to talk," I said, my voice breaking the stillness of the room.

He looked up at me, his expression guarded. "About what?"

"About us," I replied, my heart pounding in my chest. "About what's been going on."

He sighed, sitting up and putting his phone aside. "John, I thought we agreed to take a step back. I don't know what else there is to talk about."

"That's the problem," I said, standing up and moving closer to him. "We took a step back, but it feels like we're just... falling apart. I don't want to lose you, Alex. I don't want us to just pretend like nothing ever happened."

He looked away, his hands clenched into fists. "I don't want to lose you either, but I'm still so confused. I don't know what I'm doing, and I don't want to mess this up even more."

I could feel my chest tightening with frustration and sadness. "Alex, I get that you're scared. I am too. But pushing me away isn't going to make things better. We were good together. We could be good together again if you'd just let yourself try."

"I don't know if I can," he whispered, his voice trembling. "I don't know if I'm strong enough for this."

Something in his voice broke me, and before I knew it, I was sitting next to him on the bed, pulling him into my arms. "You don't have to do this alone," I said softly. "We can figure it out together. But you have to trust me. You have to trust that we can get through this."

For a moment, he just sat there, stiff and unyielding in my embrace. But then, slowly, he started to relax, his head resting against my shoulder. I could feel his breath hitching, the beginning of sobs that he was trying to hold back.

"It's okay," I whispered, my hand gently rubbing his back. "Let it out, Alex. I'm here."

That was all it took. The walls he'd built around himself came crashing down, and suddenly he was crying, his body shaking with the force of his emotions. He buried his face in my chest, his tears soaking through my shirt as he clung to me like I was his lifeline.

"I'm sorry," he choked out between sobs. "I'm so sorry, John. I didn't mean to hurt you. I just... I'm so scared. I don't know how to be what you need."

"Shh, it's okay," I soothed, holding him tighter. "You don't have to be anything but yourself. That's all I want. Just you, Alex. Just you."

We stayed like that for what felt like hours, his tears gradually subsiding as I held him close. I didn't care about anything else in that moment—just that he was there, in my arms, letting me in. It was the most vulnerable I'd ever seen him, and it made me realize just how much he'd been struggling.

When he finally pulled back, his eyes were red and swollen, his face streaked with tears. He looked exhausted, but there was something else in his expression too—something like relief.

"I'm so sorry," he repeated, his voice hoarse. "I was so caught up in my own head that I didn't realize how much I was hurting you. I don't want to push you away, John. I just... I didn't know how to deal with everything."

I wiped away a tear that had lingered on his cheek, offering him a small smile. "You don't have to deal with it alone. We're in this together, remember? Whatever happens, we'll face it as a team."

He nodded, sniffling as he tried to compose himself. "I want to try again," he said quietly. "I want to be with you, John. I'm still scared, but I don't want to lose what we have."

My heart swelled with a mixture of relief and affection. "We'll take it one step at a time," I promised. "No pressure, no expectations. Just us."

He leaned in, resting his forehead against mine. "I care about you so much," he whispered. "I don't want to mess this up."

"You won't," I assured him, closing the small distance between us and pressing my lips to his in a gentle kiss. It wasn't like the kisses we'd shared before—this one was softer, filled with a quiet promise of understanding and patience.

When we finally pulled away, I could see the uncertainty still lingering in his eyes, but there was something else too—a determination to make things work.

"Let's start over," he suggested, his voice still shaky but resolute. "Let's take our time and do this right."

I nodded, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders. "Yeah, I'd like that."

As we sat there, holding each other close, I knew that the road ahead wouldn't be easy. There would be more challenges, more doubts, but I was ready to face them with Alex by my side.

For the first time in days, I felt like we had a real chance at making this work. And that was more than enough to give me hope.

As the evening wore on, we stayed there, wrapped in each other's arms, not saying much but not needing to either. The silence between us was no longer heavy with unspoken fears but instead filled with the quiet comfort of knowing we were in this together. And that, I realized, was a pretty good place to start

A/N: It's not a Lams college AU without the classic breaking down in the others arms scene. Anyway, I hope you guys liked it. Are you guys wanting chapters from Alex's point of view along with John's or would you like me to keep it the same? Feedback always helps! As always, thank you so much for reading, ilysm!! <3

- Lamsiscannon