Between Us (Lams modern college AU)

Chapter eleven:

Alex's POV

We were lying together on my bed, the soft hum of the rain outside the window filling the room. It had been a long day, and John had been quieter than usual. At first, I chalked it up to him being tired, but there was something else. I could see it in the way his shoulders tensed, in the way he stared out at nothing for long stretches of time.

"John," I whispered, brushing a strand of hair away from his face. "What's going on?"

He didn't answer at first, just kept staring up at the ceiling, his chest rising and falling in slow, heavy breaths. I could feel the weight of something building between us, something he wasn't saying.

"I can't..." His voice broke, barely audible. "I can't do this anymore, Alex."

My heart twisted in my chest. "What can't you do?"

He turned his head towards me, his eyes filled with a sadness I hadn't seen before. "Pretend like everything's okay."

I propped myself up on my elbow, looking at him more closely. "John, you don't have to pretend with me."

For a moment, he didn't say anything, and I could see him fighting some internal battle, trying to keep whatever was tormenting him locked away. But then, all at once, the walls he'd been building crumbled. His face contorted, and a broken sob escaped his lips.

"My dad..." He choked out, his voice raw. "He's a drunk, Alex. He's always been a drunk."

The words hit me like a punch to the gut. I'd known John had a complicated relationship with his father, but he'd never told me the full extent of it.

"He used to beat me when I was a kid," John continued, his voice shaking. "And even now, when I visit home, it's... it's always tense. I never know what to expect. I try to avoid him, but sometimes..."

I sat up, pulling John closer, wrapping my arms around him as tightly as I could. "I'm so sorry, John," I whispered, my own voice catching in my throat. I could feel his body trembling against mine as he let out another sob, burying his face in my chest.

"I thought I was past it," he muttered between shaky breaths. "I thought I could just... forget it all. But I can't. Every time I close my eyes, I can still see his face, still hear him yelling, still feel—"

He didn't finish the sentence, but he didn't need to. I could feel the pain radiating off of him, so real and raw that it made my heart ache for him.

"You don't have to face this alone," I said softly, my fingers tracing soothing circles on his back. "You don't ever have to go through this alone again. I'm here."

John clung to me, as though he was afraid of falling apart completely if he let go. His tears soaked through my shirt, but I didn't care. All I cared about was holding him, making sure he knew he wasn't alone.

"I hate him," John whispered, his voice so small, so vulnerable. "I hate that he's still in my head. I hate that he has this hold on me."

I pressed a kiss to the top of his head. "It's okay to feel that way. You don't have to forgive him. You just need to take care of yourself now."

For what felt like hours, we stayed like that—John crying in my arms, and me holding him as tightly as I could, wishing I could take away the years of pain he'd suffered.

Eventually, his sobs quieted, and he pulled back just enough to look up at me, his eyes red and puffy from crying. "Thank you," he whispered, his voice hoarse. "For being here. For listening."

I smiled softly, brushing the tears from his cheeks. "Always."

He leaned in, pressing his forehead against mine, his breath warm against my lips. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Alex."

"You'll never have to find out," I whispered back, my heart swelling with love for him.

As we stayed there, forehead to forehead, I could feel something shifting between us. This wasn't just about comfort anymore—this was about trust, about being vulnerable with each other in a way we hadn't been before. And as much as it hurt to see John like this, I knew this was the kind of moment that would bring us even closer.

For the first time that night, John's lips curled into a small smile, and I couldn't help but smile back. Maybe we couldn't change the past, but we had each other now. And that, I knew, was something worth holding onto.

A/N: Im sorry this chapter was so short, I promise I will start making longer ones! I know that this chapter was kind of out of the blue. I didnt really know what to write about so if you guys have any ideas, please let me know!! 

- Lamsiscannon