The Wolf's Bride

Chapter 16

The house was silent. It had been the last two days since Alekin arrived. I had made a mistake in asking to be close to him, in asking not to sleep in my own house. Being close to him was detrimental to my health, as I soon found out. My bones still hurt even though I'd done nothing but rest. A cold, maybe, since I was sweating like a battle horse. It was awful. Everything was awful, both when he was away, and when he was around.

Three weeks. He'd been away three damned weeks and I still couldn't recall a full night's sleep in that meantime. Nightmares plagued each and every one of my dreams when I did manage to fall asleep, when my body was so exhausted that it didn't mind putting me through the hell that my dreamscape had become.

He was alive. Alekin was alive and well.

I knew that. Of course I knew it, I'd seen him with my own two eyes. I knew it was the real him. The one in my nightmares wasn't aware that we didn't consummate our marriage. Nor was he aware that hated being in his presence. Nor was he alive. Each night, he died, over and over again, until I found that I couldn't grieve anymore. Until I was forced to break into his office just to see the reports, just to see if there was any information on his current location.

I hated it. I hated everything. And the godforsaken cold didn't help, I couldn't even remember how I got it, if it was due to the plenty of time I'd preferred to spend outside at night, or simply due to eating something bad, or the wind. Fuck that. Everything could go to hell for all I cared.

"What are you doing here?" I asked aloud, not because I'd heard anything, or sensed anything, just because something inside me told me I should say.

I'd grown quite used to asking that question, just hoping for an answer. This time I didn't actually expect one, but it came nonetheless.

"Simply checking on you." Alwkin shrugged as he walked into my bedroom, even though I'd locked all the doors and windows.

I rolled my eyes and pulled the covers closer as I sat up, my book now forgotten in my lap, not that I'd read a word of it, I would have to reread the last twenty pages, if not more.

"And? How am I doing?"

He didn't laugh at my joke, not even a smile, and the expression on his face made it seem like he hadn't even heard me. I wondered what hid behind those dark eyes, what made the lush shades of green dancing in his irises so mute, so utterly unfeeling.

"You're alive." his voice sounded, rough, tired, dead. It made me shudder.

I arched a brow and found myself hugging the covers when he stepped closer, when the mattress dipped with his weight. I silenced the part of me that screamed he was in my bed. That didn't matter, not yet.

You're alive. He said. I said. He was alive too. We were both alive, I didn't want to even begin thinking about why he would be so worried about my life when all I'd done in his absence was mingle with his people and try to avoid being alone. He should've been worried about himself. He was the one bearing so many scars. I couldn't count how many he had on him, and didn't want to think about those my eyes could not see.

"I'm alive." I answered, even though it wasn't a question, even though he still seemed to not hear me.

His long, heavy sigh filled the overwhelming silence that was settling over us.

"I want you to learn how to use a sword." his eyes met mine as he spoke, more focused now, and all that focus was entirely on me, my skin crawled.

"That bad, huh?"

He didn't laugh now either. Which meant that it was, in fact, that bad. I tucked that information for later.

"Will I be given a tutor? Does my father know of this arrangement?" I questioned, simply because staying silent would've ended me.