Love Without a Kiss

The Pain of Not Knowing

I thought everything would turn out alright, as it always had. But this time, nothing was alright. Months passed, and I kept asking his friend, Ray, about him. He kept giving me the same reply: "He hasn't come home even once." Then, suddenly, one day he said, "Aura, don't believe in him. Just break up with him. He won't come back."

I was confused. Why was he saying this now? Why was he trying to make me doubt In-su? My belief in In-su had blinded me to everything else. I told Ray, "I don't know why you're saying this, but I need to talk to him first before making any decisions." He simply replied, "Okay." I couldn't even confront him directly because he was the only way I had to reach In-su.

I started to doubt Ray. Maybe he didn't like In-su and wanted to keep us apart. That's when my friend Maya came up with a bold idea. When I heard it, I was scared—what if In-su got caught because of me? But I had no other choice.

Maya asked her male friend for help. The idea was simple: I had In-su's mother's phone number. Maya's friend would call her and ask, "Where is In-su?"

The response came back: "In-su is at his college, where phones aren't allowed. He's staying at his grandmother's house, and he doesn't have a phone of his own."

Almost a year had passed, and according to his friend, he hadn't come home even once. I still remember the hope I had for him, the decision I made to wait for him endlessly. I wanted to believe in him, to trust that he would return to me.

But it hurts—deeply. Each passing day, the silence felt heavier. The waiting was a slow, painful ache that didn't fade. My heart held onto that hope, but the uncertainty was like a knife twisting, cutting deeper with every unanswered question.

Why isn't he trying to reach me? why ? This question haunted me every day. It hurt so much, and I couldn't stop thinking about it.

It really hurts....