Black Angel

Chapter One

Zola

    "Hey Zola. I know we agreed on next weekend, but how about we do this today?" Macy asked a tad apologetically. I knew she didn't want to cancel things, so she just tried to organize everyone at the same time. I guess she had some friends to meet next week because they couldn't make it today or something. "Yeah sure, don't worry. But – never mind – I'll have to ask mama again. Just in case, ya know." I just hoped she wasn't in a bad mood as always. "Stay on the phone but stay quiet please. I don't want her to get upset about why I let you listen to our conversation. I don't know, just mute yourself or-" I couldn't continue because Macy cut in. "Okay okay, I'll mute myself, Jesus. Just go in there already."
    After I saw the crossed mic in the corner of the screen, I went to the balcony where mom had a smoke. "Hey mom, is there anything I can help you with for dinner?" I started with a bit of I need myself to be on the safe side, so I'll just ask her if there is anything to help with. She shook her head. When nothing else came I took a seat on the empty bench on her opposite side. "What is it again?" she asked annoyedly, rolling her eyes. God, give me just a little more patience so that I don't jump from somewhere, most likely the Mount Everest or something.
    "It's about Macy. You remember when I told you that she invited me over next week for a sleepover?" she nodded, and I continued. "Well, she called just a few minutes ago and asked if we could do it this weekend, well, today. If you're okay with it, I would go this-" she interrupted me. "So, you want to go this weekend and next weekend?" I could literally taste her annoyance. "No, no. I would go this weekend instead of next weekend." She nodded and ushered me away with a wave of her hand. After I went back to my room, I told Macy to unmute herself. "Is she always like this?" I stayed silent. Sure, it wasn't the first time of someone seeing – or rather hearing – how rude and full of hatred my mother was towards me, but nobody bothered enough to ask if everything's okay. I didn't feel strong enough to answer that question in that moment, so I just said "I'm coming in an hour or two. I'll just hop in the shower and text you when I'm coming." my voice turned cold, and I heard a bit of hurt in it myself.
    After we said our goodbyes, I started making my bag and twenty minutes later I hopped in the shower. When I got out, I didn't put on any make-up – I wasn't the always-full-face-make-up or no-leaving-the-house-without-make-up kinda person. For now, I just put on black sweatpants, white socks, a black oversized t-shirt, and my white Nike AirForce 1's which have a black logo. I swear these are the most comfortable shoes someone can wear. I put some foam stabilizers in my hair and massaged it carefully into my thick, long, brown-to-black curls. After grabbing my bag, keys and a 'maybe-I'll-put-it-on-later' jacket, I left the house and walked towards my car.
I shot a quick text to Macy that I was on my way.
    After pairing my phone with the car, I opened Spotify and let my playlist echo through the speakers. I began the journey to Macy's with a stop at the gas station.

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    I arrived at my cousin Macy's house with hope of a bit peace, thanks for that, the place I call home. Yup, you've heard right earlier. I'm still living with those narcissistic pricks and my so-called family. In this house there is one certain rule: you move out when you get married. So, as you can see, I'm stuck with them for another lifetime. As for the 'why a lifetime'... I guess soon you'll understand why I'm thinking that.
    Macy invited me over and told me we were going to have a bit fun. That we were going out to a shisha bar and having some time alone after. You know, doing that deep talk shit and so on. She was friends with an employee at the bar – at least they tell this everyone, but the truth is: they're dating but shhh, you didn't get that from me – and he told us that only a few people were there. He also told her "I miss you" blah blah blaaahhh... ughh, so in love.
    When we arrived at the bar, we checked our make-up one last time in the mirrors in the car and freshened it up a bit. I spritzed some perfume on – my favorite and most expensive one (mom doesn't know its price, otherwise I'd be dead by now): Born in Roma intense EDP by Valentino – and then we exited the car. As we went in, we saw that the place was packed, unlike what the guy had told us. We saw an empty table on the opposite side of the entrance and sat down there. Macy's friend – let's call him Todd – hugged her when they came eye to eye, they engaged in a little conversation and – while we were waiting for our other cousin Ruby to arrive – I went to the ladies' room to freshen up my make-up. Well, at least that was what I've told them. In reality, I left them so they could have some time alone. We agreed on the flavor of our tobacco and what we would drink beforehand, so it wouldn't surprise me if our table wasn't empty anymore when I was back.
    After I got out, I walked back towards our table and saw a group of tall, muscled men sitting right next to our table. One of them was a bit more muscled and sat directly next to my seat. Well, it was more like a couch but still. I excused myself and asked him – without eye contact – if I could slip back in my seat. He made just enough space for me to pass him, and I saw that there was still space on his opposite side where one of his friends was sitting. Couldn't he move just a little bit more? I sat down again and then realized, that I didn't even look him in the face. I was too concentrated in not stumbling and falling over the table, despite my struggling with it. Well, that would be a massive embarrassment, wouldn't it?
    Macy told me that Ruby indeed did arrive in the meanwhile, but she saw friends of hers and went there to say hi. Oh, and Macy also told me – like it was the most casual thing in the world (maybe it was and I was overreacting) – that she really just asked her not-bf Todd to move us to an empty table if there would be one. I don't know why that made me so upset, but I think it has something to do with that feeling of an unease rumble in my chest. I guess I'll have to see a doctor and let them make a full over checkup.
    I felt warmth from my left side – the side that mysterious, muscled and tall man was sitting (I'll just call him Mr. MuscledMystery) – and my cousin moved from next to me to the opposite side of the table. So now she was facing me and while I was still facing the entrance, she sat with her back facing it, I assumed she wanted to take a better look at the guy next to me.
I took the hose and smoked the shisha, well at least I tried, because I inhaled wrongly and was caught in a coughing attack.
    You're so embarrassing. That tiny voice in my head grew confident from time to time. Oh, shut up, bitch. That was the only retort I could give right now. I had to concentrate on not dying.
After a minute or so I gathered my breath again and took a sip of my water. Right after, my phone buzzed.

Macy: He's so hot! And he looks kinda cute next to u too!
Me: Where the hell did they come from? Ten minutes ago they weren't there.
Macy: They came in and HE (she means Mr. MuscledMystery) asked if the spot next to us was empty and I said "yes, but there will be one more person sitting" (she meant next to her, and the person would be me). Then he said "ofc ofc no problem" and baammmm, you came.
Me: Bro I feel like I'm looking like a tomato, it's super-hot in here but just ten minutes ago it wasn't. As I sat down and scooped in front of him my heart skipped a beat. A MOTHERFUCKING BEAT MACY!!! I just saw his stature, a bit of brown hair and glasses. Am I right? Did I see right? What does he look like? I can't just look at him now. That would be weird.
Macy: You felt this WITHOUT seeing his face? Congratulations Zola, you're fucked. If you could see his face... Whooooohh...

    I couldn't answer because Todd came back and guided us to our new table.
    I didn't want to leave that place. I wanted to keep seated right next to that hulk over there, even although I knew that there wouldn't be more to us like my mind would wish. But, yet again, nobody was asking for my wishes or what I do or do not want. Just like always, right mom? After that, Macy said over and over again that she wished we stayed at our previous table.
Half an hour later Ruby was back, but fifteen minutes later she went to the ladies' room. Is she avoiding someone or something? Why does she keep going a-
    My thoughts were interrupted by a Macy which was invading my arm at the moment with her nails. One thing she was doing to get my attention. "Look! He's walking right there!" and indeed, I saw Mr. MuscledMystery walking towards the mens' room. I flipped my head right back to face my cousin again when she told me he was staring at me. How did she see that? I couldn't even see his face again.
    But I doubted what she said. I wasn't the beautiful, skinny woman a man would like to look at, much rather have by his side. I was that kind of woman which is overweight, who is always overthinking everything, gets used because she's too naive and kind-hearted, doesn't see herself worthy enough for anything and most of all: doesn't want to see her real beauty because she doesn't even believe she's beautiful. That kind of woman who can't accept compliments and just awkwardly stands there and stares like 'umm... thank you?' And that's why I think I'll die to a single life.
    Ruby finally came back, and I got the chance to distract myself from the hulk walking there back to his seat like a predator who owned every single ounce of oxygen available in the place.
"Is everything all right? You were barely with us since you've arrived. Are you trying to avoid something or someone?" I wasn't just curious, but also concerned. What if she got in trouble? "Nope. Everything's just fi-" She didn't get to finish her sentence because her phone rang. Seeing the caller's ID, her face paled and she excused herself yet another time to go take the call. "Something isn't right..." I told Macy and just as I wanted to say another thing, she invaded my arm again with her nails, pointing slightly at the entrance.
    "Your boo's leaving." I didn't need to check who she meant. I knew it was Mr. MuscledMystery. I felt a weighty stare and – even if I didn't certainly believe he would – I still felt that he was the one staring at me. I felt my cheeks burn and tried not to awkwardly shift in my seat. When that burn flew away, I knew he left. Only then I lifted my head just to see him standing outside. He took his black jean jacket off and the white t-shirt he was wearing stretched along his broad shoulders and back. He also wore black jeans and white Nike AirForce 1's with a black Nike logo, just like me. Well, that was a view I could drool over. I wondered if he had any tattoos under those clothes, because those on his arms and those veins are just wow. I also wondered what that back might look like once it's nake-
    Do. Not. Go. There.
    After he walked away, I felt a little emptiness. Oh, for God's sake, what was going on with me? That was my only thought in the moment, but it crushed down fast after I felt a slight throbbing between my legs slowly fading at the memory of his back. I don't even remember when it started.
    Oh God... I truly am fucked...