Black Angel

Chapter Ten

Derrick

    Our passionate moment was exactly nine days ago now and Zola still only came out for breakfast and dinner. Sometimes I caught sight of her leaving the house with a bag and coming back home sweaty and with a reddened face.
    Until today.
    It was late afternoon, and I went to the kitchen to drink water but when I entered the room, I saw Zola. She stood by the stove and was cooking. I wondered how I didn't smell anything but as I saw she just started.
    She looked up and crimson tinted her cheeks. "Hi." She said lowly. I smiled. "Hi." Silence. We just stared into each other's eyes. The sizzle of the onions in the pan broke the spell and she returned to cooking.
    "How are you? I barely saw you these few days." I said, my voice concerned as I leaned on the counter. "I'm fine, thank you. What about you?" She said, smiling weakly. "Me too."
    Were we really doing small talk?
    I went to the cupboard and took out a glass. Placing it on the counter I went to the fridge, took out the water bottle and poured myself some water. "You want some too?" I asked and she shook her head.
    Something wasn't right. The air was so heavy with tension I could almost see it. I knew we had to talk about what happened. But I sure as hell wouldn't be the one speaking up when I knew she was uncomfortable.
    But it was something else. Like she was slipping out of my hands like soap which I didn't even own. Yet. I was patient and eager enough to give her the time and wait for her.
    And since I've never felt so strong feelings towards anyone, I assumed to know what that meant. I just wasn't sure if I was ready to admit it to myself yet. After everything that happened with Stacy...
    "Hey baby, how are you? I know today is an important fight for you but I'm afraid I can't come. I'm so sorry but you know my boss." Stacy said over the line. We were together for five years now and today, after the fight for championship in Wisconsin, the fight of my life for now (until I go for the bigger ones), I would've proposed to her. But apparently, she won't come.
    "No problem baby, really. Just don't stress yourself out too much, okay? And ask Henry for help if you need anything. That fucker owes me for getting him out of arrest. Multiple times." I said with a chuckle.
    Henry was one of my closest friends. When I was in trouble, he pulled me out. When he was in trouble, I pulled him out. He happened to hook us up since he was her colleague for at least eight years.
    We talked a bit more and hung up. Feeling irritated, I looked at the clock. 11:34 am. Her office wasn't far from my place, or rather our place since she moved in three and a half years ago.
    An idea crossed my mind. I could take her out for lunch since her lunch break was at 12.
    And after a walk at the park, I could propose.
    Yes. We're doing this.
    So, I hopped in the shower, changed into casual clothes – a navy polo shirt, beige jeans and white sneakers – and made sure to take the red velvet box with me. Walking outside, I got into my car.
    The drive took half an hour since the traffic was insufferable and I'd also stopped at a flower shop to get her favorite flowers. Lilies. Stepping out of my car, I walked to the elevator in the office and pressed on 3. Since it's a bit after noon, and everybody was at lunch break, the office was empty. I just hoped Stacy was here. My heart thrummed with such a force, I thought it would burst out any second.
    Stepping out, I walked to her room and when only one more office separated me from hers, I started hearing some slapping sounds and moans. Huh, someone has a good time over there. I thought to myself. Little did I know it was my girl having a good time. With my so-called friend.
    "Surprise surpri-" I entered the room, eager to see my girl. But God knows I shouldn't have seen her. She was bending over her table, ass in the air and getting filled up by Henry.
    "Derrick?!" She pushed Henry off her and her skirt down her waist again. I didn't bother listen. I just left.
    After leaving the building, I gave the lilies to an old lady, got in my car and drove home. I made it in fifteen minutes.
    Going into our room, I put all her belongings in a suitcase and a big bag, threw them out of the front door and took all our pictures out of their frames.
    Going into the garden, I turned on the fire bowl and threw all those pictures in the flames. One by one. And with them, my heart and soul turned into ashes.
    Since that day I neither saw her nor Henry. She was the one I thought would be my endgame. And still, she cheated on me. That night, I still attended that fight, and this was where I almost killed my opponent and decided to take a break.
    That's why I thought I knew what these feelings meant. But I won't bring it up. For now. At least not until we take the elephant out between of us.
    "Do you need help with anything?" I asked but she shook her head again, her eyes fixed on the pan with onions and tomatoes, in another pan was rice.
    Letting out a sigh, I took my water and intended on walking out of the kitchen when she stopped me. "But-" She said and stopped when I froze on the spot, not turning around yet. "But we can talk." She said. "Scratch that. We need to talk. About what happened."
    I turned around and saw guilt, remorse and sincerity in her eyes. "I know." I said, walking towards her and stopping next to her. Leaning my lower back against the counter, I took her hand and squeezed reassuringly.
    "It was my fault. I should've hold back, or at least try to hold back. I'm sorry, Zola. Truly sorry." I said as I looked her deeply in the eye. She smiled weakly. "No, it wasn't your fault. If we're being honest: I know we both feel the tension lining between us." I smiled, glad she felt this too, and she forged on. "But I had to have more control over myself. There's something you don't know. Here's the thing: You already knew I was living in a narcissistic house, correct?" I nodded, so she continued. "But what you didn't know is that I gave my mother and myself some kind of promise. A promise that I wouldn't have sex until marriage.
    For her, it was always reputation. So, it wouldn't do good if her daughter was off-the-wall in that field. And for me, personally, it has always been disgusting how women whored themselves around like they're some kinda sex-toys for the men to find fulfillment with. But not only this." She took her hand out of mine and mixed some spices in the onion-tomato mixture.
    "A couple years ago, I had a boyfriend. He was living in Santa Maria, so obviously it was a long-distance relationship since I was living in Chicago. On our two-year anniversary I decided to fly there for a surprise. But the real surprise was waiting for me. I talked to his sister, and she told me he was in San Francisco for a meeting he needed to attend. She gave me the name of the hotel and when I arrived, I caught him cheating with a blonde, literal, whore. After this I swore I won't let anyone but my husband touch me that way."
    Wow. We had similar histories with love. Me getting cheated on and now, as I hear, her too. How could someone cheat on someone as amazing as her?
    Don't ask this aloud. And also stop thinking about it. He lost her. It's up to you to win her now.
    My inner voice was right. He'd lost her. I'd make sure I'd win her. And once I had, I won't ever let her go.
    "I'm sorry to hear this." I simply said, running my hand up and down her arm. "Yeah," she chuckled.
    "Anyways: If we're coming to our situation-" I interrupted her.
    "I need to tell you something and I need to do this before we go there." She looked stunned but didn't interfere, so I forged on.
    "I know we barely know each other but what I do know is that you do things to me. In a positive way. But I can't quite name them. I mean, I guess I could but that'd mean admitting it to myself and I guess I'm not ready for that. At least not yet."
    A questioning look on her face.
    Okay, then we're telling her now.
    "I guess it's my turn opening up now. A few years ago, I, too, had a girlfriend. I thought she could be it for me. But two years ago, when I was a boxer, I had one of the fights of my life. I was excited, but not only for the fight. Because after, I wanted to propose to her." Zola's eyes widened.
    "She called earlier that day and told me that she couldn't come to the fight. It didn't matter to me. I was okay with it. And then an idea entered my mind and I drove to her office to take her out for lunch break. I wanted to propose while we were having a walk in the park, but apparently, I caught her cheating. With my – in that time – so-called friend. After this I vowed not to love ever again." Until she came, right?
    The voices in my heart wanted to pick a fight with those in my head and I'm afraid those in my heart are stronger.
    "Wow. We have similar histories." She said, still in shock. While she was in that shock-trance, I took care of the onion-tomato mixture. After a few seconds she cleared her throat and I saw that she'd gathered herself again.
    "I attended some training sessions in the gym." She said suddenly. "I also started looking for some little apartments close to the office. Well, for now they think I'm sick, but I'll have to go working eventually and I can't afford much costs for gas. I have some savings, but if it can't be helped I'll have to sell my car."
    My heart dropped. So that's what she was up to.
    "It didn't hurry, you know that, don't you? Did I make you feel uncomfortable?" I asked as if this was her home and I just happened to walk in. But it could be hers. She just didn't know. And I guess she wouldn't know for... some time.
    "No. How could you? You are the nicest person I've ever met, I guess. But I need to have some time and space." From you. The voices in my head grew stronger now, leaving an unbearable headache behind.
    "Why? I know it was a mistake and things between us went too fast but-" This time she interrupted me, taking my hand in hers. "Because when I'm coming to you, I want to come in my best form. With my best mind, heart, appearance and feelings. As I said: I know we both feel the tension between us. We're not blind. But if we do this, I want us to do this proper, and I want it to be with you. Because there is a difference between an amazing, and gorgeous on top, man like you being with a five-foot tall, chubby dwarf and an amazing, and gorgeous on top, man like you being with a skinny, beautiful and self-confident woman like the one I intend to become."
    "So you're gonna leave?"
    "When I find a proper and in-the-budget apartment, then yes."
    When, not if.
    "Don't." I pleaded, holding her hand tight. "This house always felt empty. Since the day you walked through the door, this house finally started feeling like a real home. Please, don't leave. Don't leave your new home. I could help you with your training. We have an indoor gym in the basement. We could train together."
    We.
    When did I get so clingy? So desperate for someone who didn't want to be with me at that moment?
    She turned off the stove and said "I can't stay, Derrick. One, I can't stay for free, and two-" I interrupted again. "You're not staying for free. Ever since you came, I didn't waste a penny on takeouts, the house never looked cleaner and, most importantly, never felt like a home. Before you, this house was only bricks and furniture. You are the one turning it into a home. Please, Zola. Stay with me. Pay with food or cleaning if you want. For me, the payment would be just your existence."
    Her eyes glistened with tears when I ended the speech.
    "Please..." The plea came out as a whisper. I took her other hand also in mine and dropped my forehead to hers which made her drop a tear. I smoothed it away with my thumb and rested my hand on her cheek. "Stay with me."
    She closed her eyes and took her hands out of mine to hug my waist.
    "I guess you have a new cohabitant now."