Black Angel

Chapter Fifteen

Zola

    Was Derrick sobbing?
    I woke up to some noise and glanced at my phone. 3:47 am. I listened some more and after a 'no' I stood up and walked to his room. The sounds definitely came from here.
    "Derrick?" Nothing. I opened the door and saw him tossing and turning, the moonlight shining through the curtains and letting his face glisten.
    Was that sweat?
    Definitely a nightmare.
    "Hey," I sat down next to him. "It's okay, you're not alone." He still tossed and turned. "Hey, shhh." I took his head and placed it on my lap, gently stroking his hair.
    Suddenly he breathed in, long and loud, turning his head left and right.
    "Hey, it's okay. I'm here. Shhh." I said, taking his head in between my palms and caressing his cheeks with my thumbs.
    "Huh... Zola?" He asked breathlessly. "Yes, baby, I'm here. I'm here." I called him baby on purpose, knowing that will calm him down a bit. I saw what effect I have on him, and I guess he saw what effect he has on me too. We weren't together, but deep down we knew what we felt. He also called me 'baby' every now and then.
    Relief washed over his face as he let his head fall on my chest, silent sobs leaving his lips. I continued stroking his hair and shushing, but I didn't push the topic as in what he saw that he's in this state right now. I'd do anything to comfort him, just so he's feeling better. Even though I've never seen him in this condition, I wasn't scared. At least not in that way. I was scared about his mental health. His mind. How he felt.
    "I-I'm sorry. You shouldn't have seen that. The nightmares stopped for a while, but... Well." He said after some time of silence passed between us.
    "Would you mind if..." I motioned to the bed, and he made room for me. Sliding under the covers, I sat with my back to the headboard and patted my upper chest for him to snuggle into.
    It may seem inappropriate, but he needed comfort right now and I wanted him to find it. With me. And I wanted him to feel as safe with me as I always felt with him.
    We didn't say it, but we needed each other as an anchor to sanity.
    "You sure?" He asked.
    Butterflies made themselves known in my chest.
    I smiled and took his hand, leading him towards myself. He slid in next to me and rested his head on the right side of my chest again. Feeling like that wasn't enough, I hugged him with my right arm and placed my left hand on his right cheek, giving him a kiss on the top of his head.
    "Everything will be okay. Do you hear me, Derrick? You're not alone, nor will you ever be again. I will always be by your side, baby." I said, my voice low but full of sincerity.
    His answer caught me off-guard.
    That was the first time someone said eight letters to me that inflicted such an incredible feeling on me, my eyes burned with unshed tears.
    He lifted his head and placed his hand on my left cheek with me savoring its warmth and softness.
    "I can't tell you how much I appreciate your presence, Zola. You're the first person ever seeing me like this. And I know you've moved in only a few weeks ago but I knew since that day I saw you in front of Macy's house that... that I loved you."
    No... Not yet... Please don't.
    "Derrick, I-" I couldn't continue because he cut in.
    "No, don't. Listen to me, baby. I know you think you need to change yourself to fit in my life but believe me when I tell you that you're the most beautiful, gold-hearted and amazing thing that has happened to me. Ever. Please don't hold back. Let me in."
    The final words were spoken.
    What meant love?
    Love meant having an anchor in someone.
    Not only a partner, but a best friend, a tiny bit of a mom or dad maybe, a respecting – and respectable – person.
    Loving someone should set free tingles on your skin whenever you both touch.
    Loving someone meant not only seeing with your eyes, but your heart.
    And I knew I loved him.
    But could I be that someone to him? He was my someone and quickly becoming my everything, that I knew for damn sure.
    I want to give in so bad. But what if the past repeats itself? Or worse: what if he sees that I was right and not even the slightest bit worthy of him?
    No. He won't be leaving you. My inner voice said.
    It wouldn't happen again, would it?
    Did I love him? Absolutely. But I was scared. If he left me, I wouldn't ever be able to regain my composure again. There wouldn't be a Zola then.
    "You need to rest now. Your bruises didn't heal properly yet. I'll be by your side, just in case the nightmares come back."
    His eyes were filled with hope, but my statement crushed it, that I could see clearly. He sighed and lay down in bed, his shirtless back facing me now.
    "I need some time. Please don't be mad at or disappointed in me." I sniffed, my eyes filling with unshed tears and he turned back again. "I'm not, hey, shh." This time, he was the one pulling me down to lay beside him, which I did and he instantly pulled me to his side.
    I hugged his waist and snuffled into his embrace, goosebumps rising on my skin to the touch of his warm skin, and he stroked my hair, hugging me tight. His scent relaxed my crackling nerves immediately and in this very moment I knew: He was and always would be my salvation.
    With that, we both fell in an uninterrupted sleep.
    "I love you too." I whispered as lay I awake in the tiny room in a basement. Julio and the other men upgraded me from a chair to a bed, but I was still in that rotten basement.
    In the last few days I didn't eat, and already lost a couple more pounds.
    Those memories with Derrick were the one keeping me sane in here. It's kind of like being in prison. They wouldn't quite let me out for air, I had an open toilet in here and a tiny sink next to it.
    I was just glad they didn't touch me. Yet, at least.
    According to Julio, I was here for a week and a half already. I wondered if Derrick already noticed that I was gone and his friend a liar.
    "Rise and shine, Piggy." Julio came in as he sang. "Today we're gonna have some fun."
    Before I could ask anything, he fisted my hair and pulled me off the bed, so I was kneeling in front of him.
    I hoped he wasn't going to do what I was thinking.
    I looked up at him through teary, narrowed eyes. Don't get me wrong, my eyes did only tear up because of the sharp tug on my scalp. It was just a natural reaction of my pathetic body.
    "Since you refuse to eat, despite you losing weight is considered a good thing: What about I serve you something? But I'll need your help to prepare it."
    With his hand still in my hair, the other went down to his zipper, pulling it down.
    Oh no.
    He pushed his pants and boxers down a bit to reveal a bushy abdomen and pulled out his dick, stroking it slowly.
    I wondered how these things worked. One second it was glibby, short and slim, the next it grew and was thick and a bit longer than before, with a white moisture exiting its tip.
    As a dark romance lover, I've read about the pre-cum thingy in my books, but seeing it in front of me, definitely non-consensual, was a whole other world.
    Especially since I was seeing that whole thing – and not only its moisture – for the first time in my life.
    "Open your mouth, Piggy. You must be starving, let's feed you a little bit."
    When I didn't obey, he slapped me across the face, pressed my cheeks together and simply forced his erection in my mouth. What I didn't realize in the beginning: He held a phone in his hand, presumably recording this mess.
    I didn't want this. Any of it. I wanted the first one for everything to be him.
    But he might be occupied with more important things. I didn't blame him.
    "That's it. Yes. Take it like the fat little whore you are." Julio groaned as he forced himself deeper and deeper in my throat until I was gagging and choking. Scratch that, I was more like suffocating. I hate you.
    If my hands weren't still tied behind my back, I'd stab my nails into his legs. Maybe he'd back off then.
    "Look at you. Gagging and choking on my cock." He chuckled devilish. I could feel him growing thicker in my mouth and – according to my books – that meant I'll taste something soon.
    I didn't move my tongue and I didn't suck either. I wouldn't give him any pleasure.
    His grip on my scalp tightened and the pace of his thrusts increased, causing me to whimper. I felt the corners of my mouth rip open from the force he was fucking – or rather raping – my mouth with, my nose connecting with his disgusting abdomen repeatedly.
    While he released a loud groan, his dick throbbed in my mouth and I felt and tasted some warm, salty fluid, but I wouldn't swallow this shit.
    As soon as he pulled out, I didn't wait for his command to swallow. I simply spit it into his face.
    "You fucking slut!" Slap. "You'll pay for this!" Slap.
    After this, he beat me until I was nearly unconscious. I was lying on the floor with him kicking me.
    Get it together. Don't get unconscious. They could rape you and take your virginity without you noticing it! Or maybe worse...
    What could be worse? But I forced my eyes open to see that Julio was pulled back by another man.
    "Get it together, stupid dipshit!" The man – whose name was Mario I learned, or rather figured out – yelled at Julio.
    "Out! And you," He pointed in my way, "On your bed. Now!"
    As I tried to crawl, I failed and fell to the ground, limp from the merciless punishment delivered by Julio.
    "Fuck." Mario sighed and picked me up, placing me on the bed.
    "Fuck, you're heavy. I'll get Dr. Henssoff to take care of this mess, don't move." He whispered in my ear, licking a path behind it right after, which caused my body to shudder. After that, he left with a devilish smirk.
    What if they recorded everything and sent it to Derrick and he thinks I enjoyed or wanted it?
    How am I going to explain this to him?
    What if he didn't even care about me and didn't come for me for this reason?
    No. Do not doubt neither him nor his love for you.
    A single tear left my eye. My anxiety loved taking the reins over my thoughts and feelings.
    Baby, where are you?