Friday, at school.
Today wasn't the best day. It was time to go home; all the students had packed their bags. As well as I did, though, I was a newcomer at this place; for instance, I'm not familiar with any roads and turns. I only have my phone to teach me the ways for home.
As I was heading to the bus stop, I felt a little hungry. So I went to my phone to reach out to "nearby cuisines." Happy to say that I found one, "Japanese Grilled Restaurant," as I especially picked this since I quite knew Japanese as intermediate.
I looked at my phone and pressed directions, which led me to a non-bustling street. I saw the restaurant with lovely lights. I went in, of course.
On an unhappy day, this warm atmosphere reminds me that happiness isn't always constant. Perhaps it's best to let go of emotional disputes and relax on these days.
Now looking at the restaurant, there's not much to begin with. They're shortstaffed, let alone a lot of customers. In fact, I was the second customer to arrive today, they said.
I looked at the menu; seeing my favorite item there made me smile a bit. "Grilled Chicken Thighs." I ordered it, with extra soy sauce and lemon on the side. Of course.
I waited for my order to come; 24 minutes, they said at the menu, so it was a bit of a risk for my growling stomach. After waiting for quite some time, the steam and sizzles of the chicken were heard behind my back.
With a waitress giving it to me with a smile on her face,
"Your order, miss," she adds. While I was putting my stuff away on the side of my seat, I nodded at her.
My face wasn't seen; I was wearing my mask. I was really insecure about my face anyway. "Thank you," I replied.
"You don't look too good. What's on your mind?" The waitress asked.
It caught me pretty off guard since I wasn't on the natural level of my mood; yes, I was... Not in the mood? I guess.
Out of the pocket, the female waitress sat down on the opposite side of my table. I wasn't expecting, given that they're probably a new restaurant, so I just went along with it.
"Err... I don't know exactly, but maybe lack of interactions? Do you know the feeling of lonelyness?" I boldly asked the waiter, out of this world, while chewing on a lettuce.
"Yeah, loneliness. Loneliness stings more when surrounded by people, reminding me of the pain of feeling disconnected. Social interaction, though scarce, serves as a balm for the solitude that gnaws." The waitress spoke.
I was moved by her thinking, 'Loneliness stings more when surrounded by people.' That's what I exactly felt like!
So I spoke, "Waiter, I take note that you've felt this before. Yeah?"
"Mhm, a lot. But... Whenever I'm alone, I don't feel lonely. Maybe my safe place is my own."
This waitress spoke to me like we were friends, which felt like I was home; talking to my best friend.
"We must have a lot in common, then," I said as I dug in my food.
The waiter nodded, then spoke some other things before standing up to help the other staff. I looked at the waiter as she talked to me without any concern. Why did I feel so comfortable? I have never spoken to anyone that way; I was so used to bottling up my emotions. For so long, I've held my emotions deep within, never letting them surface.
I was so used to bottling them up that expressing how I truly felt became an alien feeling. I keep thinking about it; maybe talking about it to someone would lift a heavy weight off my shoulders. And it did. Breaking out of my comfort zone takes effort, yes. and it's always something to admire. Sometimes, stepping out of my safe place reminds me that growth only comes when we push ourselves beyond the familiar.
"Waiter, waiter! Can we talk a little more?"
