The Hard Road

Part 13: Head Case

Fucking Wanker!

All he is, is a bloody wanker!

I have been trying to help, because Luna has been up my arse about making her brother a happy- healthy person because she knows he has bloody issues.

And I have been putting my best effort in.

And for BLOODY WHAT?!?!

He doesn't want to accept help when it's given.

He doesn't want to do right by his sister.

Because if he did, he would work on his issues despite how hard he may find that to be.

Change isn't easy for anyone.

I know that!

Yet he isn't understanding that his lack of sleep is more dangerous to others than just himself. He doesn't realize that Luna needs him fully rested and right minded to help her through the rest of this pregnancy and then follow it into chemo and radiation. Who does he think is going to be taking care of the baby when she is dreadfully sick and unable to even move without being in pain, let alone breast feed, change, or hold the poor thing?

It has to be him!

He needs to get his shit together.

At some point he needs to swallow that pride of his and remove the stick from his arse, or he's going to lose someone.

All I did was sit with Iggy and ask for advice. Advice on how to continue treating Luna and that snowballed into Max and his issues. I merely informed Iggy of his situations—despite it not being my place, but what else could I do. The bloody man needs sleep or he's going to fuck up royally and then what? Be out of a job? Possibly lose his license for being overly tired which is essentially the same thing as being impaired.

Who would take care of Luna and the baby then?

True, I have crossed several inappropriate doctor patient boundaries since taking Luna on as a patient.

But it's only because I truly care for her and wish to help her to my best ability.

And right now, my best ability and shot at giving her a fighting chance is getting her twin brother to take his head out of his arse. He's all she has. It's that plain and simple. Why he can't see or understand that is beyond me.

———

Packing up for the end of my day, I have begun to feel the effects of my frustration.

Four more patients added to me.

Two of which I've previously gotten to remission- are back and it's simply disheartening.

And two children.

I feel rather ill and frankly I just wish to stop.

Knocking...

"Come in." I say with my back to the desk.

"I had an appointment." His voice curdles my stomach and I can't help but clench my hands around the handles to my purse and squeeze my eyes shut tightly to try and will him to go away.

But it's Max and he's just as bloody stubborn as I am.

"It's been canceled— indefinitely." I state without turning around.

"I wanted to apologize." He says quietly and I turn around and snap.

"Of course you bloody do! That's all your good for it seems— is being a complete inconsiderate arsehole, turning around to apologize for it, and then RINSE AND REPEAT!" I yell at him and he shrinks in his spot.  "I wanted to believe Luna when she told me how sweet and nervous a person you are. How you are the sweetest man on this Earth and I need just to have patience for you and give you time to show me just how sweet, caring, and great you are, but in the past week of knowing you-whether it's been an easy time for you or not— you have ONLY proven to me that you are nothing of the sort. You are sweet and kind when you need something. Then you are a bitter, stubborn, unforgiving arsehole—who can't push pride aside long enough to fix his own issues that are hurting MORE THAN JUST HIMSELF. And you turn around and apologize for it because GOD FORBID you looked bad. If you truly meant ANY of your apologies this passed week or EVER you would actually change to be a better person than just throwing apologies at people and hoping they forget just how horrid and cruel you were!"