Fervent Feelings

X-W Chapter 18 - Regrets, I've Had a Few

It's been a few months since the chaos in San Francisco, and the scars left behind have begun to fade. Slowly, I've reclaimed my place at the school, easing back into the rhythm of daily life here. The once constant buzz of tension has quieted, and for the first time in what feels like forever, there's a sense of calm that lingers in the air, as if the school itself is taking a breath after holding it for so long.

The rhythmic tapping of a metal pen echoes through the small, ornate room as I flip through the stack of schedules for the new semester. 'Sympathy for the Devil' by The Rolling Stones plays softly from the record player, its familiar melody offering a brief distraction from the monotony of administrative work. I let out a sigh, leaning back in my chair as I murmur, "This is going to be more difficult than I thought."

The sharp clicking of heels outside the door interrupts my thoughts. A brief knock raps against the wood, followed by the slow creak of the door swinging open.

"Not busy, are ya?" Logan's gruff voice cuts through the quiet, his head nodding toward the paperwork scattered across my desk as he steps into the room, closing the door behind him.

I glance up, noting the tension etched into his usually composed features. "No," I say with a sigh, pushing the papers aside. "Trouble with the kids again?" I ask, my eyes scanning his face for the telltale signs of frustration. I've gotten used to studying body language now that my powers are gone.

Logan takes a deep breath, the rise and fall of his broad chest betraying his unease. "Yeah," he mutters, his voice heavy.

I push a few items to the side, clearing a space on the desk as I gesture toward the chair in front of me. "Come on, sit," I offer gently, the corners of my mouth curving into a soft, supportive smile. "I'm all ears."

Logan hesitates for a moment, his hands running through his messy hair before he takes the seat in front of me. He slouches slightly, elbows resting on his knees, his usual tough exterior crumbling in the quiet space between us. "I subbed for Scott a couple of times, but this..." He shakes his head, his fingers rubbing at his temple. "It's different. They don't listen. Hell, I don't know if I'm cut out for this."

I lean forward, resting my elbows on the desk as I study him. "You're doing better than you think, Logan. Trust me, they're not easy, but neither are we."

He huffs, his frustration clear. "I'm not exactly the nurturing type. Every time I try to show 'em something, they push back. They're not soldiers."

"They're not," I agree. "But they need someone who's been through it, who knows what it's like to be on the battlefield, and how to survive. You've got that experience. You're just not used to having to be... patient."

Logan's brow furrows, his fingers absently tracing the edge of my desk. "Patience ain't exactly my strong suit."

I chuckle softly, shaking my head. "No, but you've got something else. These kids respect you, even if they don't always show it. They know you've been through hell and back, and that means something."

He looks up, his eyes meeting mine, and for a moment, the weight of everything he's feeling is laid bare. "What if I mess 'em up? What if I don't prepare them enough for a real war?" he asks, his voice quiet, vulnerable in a way that Logan rarely lets anyone see.

I pause, letting the question hang in the air for a beat before answering. "You won't 'mess them up'. They're not expecting you to be perfect, Logan. They just need someone who's gonna stand by them, show them the ropes, and not give up on them when things get tough. And that's what you're good at."

He grunts in acknowledgment, but the tension in his shoulders seems to ease just a little. "How do you deal with it? The constant back-and-forth?"

I smile, leaning back in my chair. "Patience, a lot of patience. But also knowing that every single one of them is going through their own battle, just like we did. You just gotta meet them where they are and push them when they need it."