the Shrek bible

Shrek bible story 4

(The story starts as the first two films started, with a book lying on the ground. Only this book had a particular title on it.)

"Shrek Forever After"

(It was opened up to a page of Far Far Away with King Harold and Queen Lillian holding their newborn as a man was heard narrating.)

Man's Voice: Once upon a time a long time ago, a king and a queen had a beautiful daughter named Fiona.

(The pages flipped to one page of older Fiona's human form during the day, and her ogre form during the night.)

Man's Voice: But she was possessed by a terrible curse. By day, a lovely princess; by night, a hideous ogre.

(The pages then turned to the pages with a knight kneeling, holding a bouquet of flowers and Fiona waiting in the tower guarded by a certain dragon's tail.)

Man's Voice: Only true love's kiss would lift her curse. So Fiona waited in a tower, guarded by a dragon, until the day when her true love would arrive.

(The next pages showed Harold and Lillian in a carriage, racing away from their safe kingdom and into the dark, foreboding forest.)

Man's Voice: But as the days turned into years, the King and Queen were forced to resort to more desperate measures.

(Flashback)

(Years ago, before Harold and Lillian had reunited with their daughter, the horses pulling the carriage that carried the king and queen raced through the forest like mad. Inside the carriage, the king and queen held each others' hands in worry. The carriage then arrived towards an even more eerie part of the forest. It was Crone's Nest Carriage Park, a medieval trailer park. The signs underneath the main said "No Vacancy" and "Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here". Two witches guarding recognized the royal carriage and opened the gates, allowing the carriage inside. The carriage slowed down and was pulled more cautiously, and as that happened, the king and queen looked at all the witches inhabiting the area near their broken down carriages. One witch sneered, while stroking a black cat she held, and many other black cats, that she hoarded, all snarled. King Harold yelped a bit. Then he and Lillian saw another witch dumping out trash from the window of her carriage, while one witch standing by, smirking, as she made a kissy noise to the king.)

King Harold: Ew!

(Then he and Lillian saw a family of hillbilly-type witches, playing mandolins, spitting tobacco, holding a bottle of moonshine and giving dirty, foul looks at the visitors, while a bare-butted baby witch was crawling on the ground. The royal couple were deeply unsettled as Lillian locked the carriage door.)

Driver: (pulls reigns) Whoa, there!

The horses stopped at a huge egg-like carriage with an "R" on top.

King Harold: I don't know about this, Lillian. Fairy Godmother said only true love's kiss could break Fiona's curse.

Queen Lillian: I don't trust that woman, Harold. This may be our last hope. Besides, he does come highly recommended by King Midas.

King Harold: But to put our daughter's life in the hands of this...person? He's devious. He's deceitful. He's...he's...

A bit later, the king and queen were inside the carriage as the owner spun around in his chair, revealing himself. He was Rumpelstiltskin.

Rumpelstiltskin: Rumpelstiltskin!

Lightning flashed at the mention of his name. His pet goose, Fifi, honked a bit. The little man kissed the uneasy Lillian's hand in respect.