Keeping The Dark Lord (on his toes)

Chapter - 12 introspection ( Jan to Feb 1993 )

Harry stood frozen for a few seconds as he reappeared in his room, for a moment he thought that Death would linger, but the being wisely decided to make himself scarce…

Why the hell did I do that?! I held Voldemort…! Hm, maybe he would allow me to call him Tom, or Marvolo…? No! Get it together! He’s really going to kill me when he sees me again…! Why didn’t I just keep my mouth shut? He knows… I’m sure he knows who I am now…but I couldn’t just leave him like that!

Harry shuddered as he recalled the screams. Despite Salazar’s warnings, he hadn’t expected the transformation to be so brutal and he’d acted on instinct and held the other man before his mind even comprehended that he’d moved.

The moment he’d grabbed the other man and threw his arms around his waist, something inside him had calmed ever so slightly, but he still didn’t know why…why was he so obsessed with a man that was trying to kill him? Why was he giving him gifts when the man would delight in nothing more than to AK him?

It bothered him, but he wasn’t ready to give himself up due to some strange emotions. First, he had to talk to his friends, and although he wouldn’t reveal the gritty details, he still had to explain what he did and why he did it…and he wasn’t looking forward to it.

He looked at the castle walls around him as Hogwarts gave him a magical hug as if to calm him down…he still didn’t feel like getting up though. An hour later he finally managed to drag himself from bed to head down to breakfast, it was the weekend so he had a bit of time to himself and he made a detour to the kitchens instead, though if he were honest with himself, he knew he was putting off the talk he needed to have with his friends.

Finally, he wandered towards the Black Lake where his friends had gathered. They were talking and laughing and for a moment, Harry felt like an outsider looking in as he realized that he would never truly fit in with them as he did with his friends from the past. Sure he could tell them about what happened, but they were already in their second year and none of them had gone through the life and death situations that had strengthened them and given them their drive and unity in the first place. They were still innocent and whole while he was slightly jaded and broken…

He felt Death appearing in his mindscape for a moment before a weight dropped into his pocket. He quickly ducked behind a tree and opened the letter, only to fight off a smile as a familiar scrawl greeted him.

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Hi Harry

Hope you are doing well. We are missing you here but from what Death has periodically told us (And why the HELL didn’t you tell us he could pop up at any time? I was in the middle of a meeting with the French Minister when he appeared and he almost made me look like an idiot because I was talking to something that wasn’t there! Luckily they thought I had just been working a little too hard…but I swear I am going to have you make this up to me!), you have been quite busy so far. Hope you are doing well…people have been going insane looking for you and we have been sitting back with popcorn (You should have seen the first time Ron and Draco tasted some, it was HILARIOUS!). They are all looking for a hero to solve every little problem and as sad as it is, I almost wish that you left our Voldemort alive for a little longer…only until the biggest idiots were taken care of at least.

Anyway, enough of my rant, the boys are all sending their regards, and Luna is sending her love. Luna says that Lomitholites have taken over Voldemort’s brain so you don’t have to be afraid of dying any time soon, whatever that means…but please stay out of trouble.

Regards

Hermione (and the rest of the gang)

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