Destined Love

Chapter 9- Lisa

I didn't realize the meaning of pain until I begged God to make me forget his existence. It was killing me bit by bit. The excruciating pain was no less than blood being drained out of my body drop by drop and I was lying flat on a cold marble floor. One day I read something about detaching yourself from someone which I used as an everyday reminder for my survival because eventually, you have to live the life you've been given whether you want to or not.

If you believe that someone is meant for you, then never fear letting go because what's decreed by God does not have to be tightly cupped within your palms nor does it have to be caged. You don't have to be possessive or compete over it nor do you have to fear it slipping away. If it's yours, if it's for you, if it was written in the books by the Almighty for you then rest assured it will be yours. But if it's not for you, you will notice that no matter what you do, how you go about it, or what you do differently, it just never works out. And in a remarkable way, it's a blessing while it elicits short-term sadness, it's just God communicating to you that better is coming, that your destiny is coming, and you need to let go to make a space for it.

(Nashiha Pervin)

No amount of motivation, bitter truths, horrible facts, or miserable realities of life, can help you ease the pain you're going through. It's not that we're unknown to the ground realities or we deny it, it's just the pain that won't let anything settle beside itself. I've lived that pain and I am living some of it. It never goes away, it never fades. You make yourself somewhat resistant to it or maybe it numbs you for some time or even after some time. I'll go with the latter because when you don't feel the pain, you don't even feel any other emotion and that's how I know my feelings and emotions have been numb!

It's been seven years. Seven whole years since Enzo and I had a word. We didn't fight. We never had one. We never even argued. Still, we never talked. I've finally begun to accept that I was never the one for him. But still, there was a feeling deep inside that he'd come back one day. He'll come back to me for me. I'll get to see, hold, and have him all to myself. My heart ached for him. My lungs didn't cooperate and suddenly I became breathless. That's how his thoughts affected me. I didn't find enough oxygen in my surroundings to breathe. It's been seven years and the tears shed from my eyes as if he's just left. I want to accept the fact that he's gone and his coming back is temporary. He won't stay.

Every night I've spent thinking about him, thinking about the time we had together yet I couldn't find a single reason for him ghosting on me. I was nothing more than a leisuretime toy for him. He has always kept things casual. He never said that but his actions masked intentions. I wanted to ask him so many questions but he just freed himself of all the burden, which I doubt he ever carried. All these years have given me nothing but patience to get through everything and I'm sure I'll pass through this time as well. Sometimes I want to scream at Enzo, I want to hold him from his collar and ask him why he did this. Why I was never enough for him? What did I do wrong that he left? Why my love wasn't enough to make him stay? But all I'm left with is emptiness and question marks in my head. I never dared to reach out to him. I've distanced myself the way he did; no questions, no arguments, no explanation! Just plain silence, just as he wanted. I've cried myself to sleep almost every night. I wonder if I've even crossed his mind ever in all these years. Does he miss me? Or does anything remind him of me? Is he even bothered by the memories we had? And now when he came back to me after seven years, he's blank! 

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Enzo called me the very next weekend for another meetup. He sounded excited more than nervous or anxious this time.

"Hey!", Enzo intoned, "Umm... can we... can we catch up tonight for dinner?" he pried.

You've done it once, you can do it again, Lisa! Just don't expect anything from him and you won't have to suffer more than you already are suffering!

No matter how much I want to avoid him, I know I won't be able to neither will he let me. So seeing him and giving him the satisfaction that there was nothing between us and that I was no one important in his life, which by the way is not a lie, will eventually make him leave.... And that is something he will be doing no matter how the situation is!

"Of course! Where do you want to go?", I enquired.

"Just be ready by 8 and I'll pick you up. I'll take care of the rest" " he exclaimed with excitement.

Wow! Never saw him this excited even when he was faking it all seven years ago!

"Just drop me your location and I'll be right on time", He added

"Oh...kayy!", was all I could manage to speak because this wasn't easy to process

"Oh and wear something formal. You're going to love the place I promise you that!", Enzo's tone carried more excitement this time

"Alright" was all he heard from me...

Promises coming from someone who was never a man of his word yet he acts like a pure gentleman!

°°°°°

Hello readers! Hope you're enjoying the journey...'

Let's see how the dinner date goes for both of them.

Will Enzo stay? Will Lisa be able to hold her emotions in front of Enzo? Will Lisa tell everything about their past or will she play along and convince him to leave? What's going on in Enzo's mind?

Stay tuned for updates and make your Mondays special! See you next week. 

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