Destined Love

Chapter 6- Lisa

It's been almost seven years since Enzo and I last conversed. I've read somewhere that it takes seven years to completely forget someone you've loved from the core of your heart and here I was. I thought I was getting over him until I saw him in front of me. I've been preparing the script to tell him about every misery he has put me through and pull out my anger on him. Still, the moment I saw him, all I wanted was him to say that he was back for me and I wanted him to wrap his arms around me so I could cry in his warmth and tell him how painful it was to live without him and that I don't want to do it anymore. Seeing Enzo at the hospital nearly gave me a heart attack. I was numb. I didn't know what to do. Everything I wanted to say or do faded and I couldn't process the situation and it all went back to where it started. Seven Years Ago!

I gave Enzo my card. At first, I thought I wouldn't talk to him because no amount of words could compensate for seven years of misery, but the moment he asked me to meet, I couldn't resist. It always happens. Every time I think of standing up to Enzo, I end up doing what he wants me to do. Or maybe it's your heart that hopes to have him back every time. Every chance, every possibility that can make him mine won't let me resist Enzo. Ever! And that's exactly what happened when Enzo asked me to meet. I was covering up for one of my colleagues as she was on leave so I was working double shifts this week but I assured Enzo that I would meet him this weekend. If it was possible, I would've met him that very moment, but I guess everything happens for a reason and this might be in my favor. Even though the whole week was packed with a tight schedule, still my brain managed to assume a hundred different reasons why Enzo wanted to meet me. Was it something he'll be accusing me of just like in the past? Or does he want to apologize? Coming back to me for my sake was not in the top five hundred reasons on my list. The whole week passed with a rush of adrenaline, raised cortisol levels, and a ton of overthinking.

Finally, it was Saturday! I came back at five am after my shift and I thought I'd get some good night's sleep before I'll go see Enzo, but sleep didn't want me today. More like almost every other day. I've hardly slept at night in the past seven years because Enzo used to text me at night so my mind, even now, isn't ready to believe that it was all gone years ago. I wait for him every night, hoping he might miss me someday, and text me and I don't want to miss that by sleeping. But he never texted. Not even once and now after all these years, he showed up like an old pal! I took a shower and made myself a latte. Enzo used to order espresso for himself but whenever I was with him, I've always ordered a latte for him as well. I wonder if he remembers any of it...

The caffeine wasn't doing its part today so I went to the park for a quick run and ended up running two hours straight. I came back and took another shower and changed into a black T-shirt and shorts. I like roaming barefoot in the house so I turned on some music and went to my wardrobe. I took out every fabric from my favorite section and started trying them on. I wasn't hungry and I knew I wouldn't be until I met Enzo. It happened every time. I used to have anxiety the whole day or maybe those were butterflies dancing inside my stomach out of excitement. I had a good collection of outfits so choosing one was a difficult task and I wanted to look presentable today. So I chose my favorite one. A white button-down silk shirt with high-waisted pants. Now the task was how to style it. It took me three absolute hours to end up pairing it up with black court shoes and a handbag. I tied up my hair in a ponytail as if I was tying up my emotions so I didn't break down in front of him. I couldn't afford to lose myself in front of him after all these years especially when I'm not sure of his intentions.

I gave him the location of Anna's cafe and watched the clock ticking. I was ready by 4 PM so I needed something to kill the time. I opened up the last chat that Enzo and I had from seven years ago.

"Happy Birthday, Enzo"

"You could at least say 'Thank you!'" I texted him two weeks after his birthday and he ignored that as well.

There were many times when Enzo made me feel like I mattered to him. Besides a direct confession, he confessed it in every other language; his actions, his affirmations, his gestures, and everything.

"If you think you're helping me out with this attitude, trust me you're not. It's only making everything more miserable for me" It was the text I sent him almost a month after my last text. It was one of the nights when I had those severe panic attacks and breathing seemed impossible. My hands were shaking and my whole body was shivering. I felt like I was on the edge of losing my life if I didn't hear from him. He replied to me the next night.

"I never claimed anything about us. I've been ignoring you on purpose. We've had a good time together but this does not mean it will last. There's an expiry date to everything, even the things you want to hold on to. Get over everything and move on with your life!"

That was the last I heard from him. I used to stalk him because my survival, to date, deeply depended on seeing him. That was the most I could give to myself since there wasn't even the slightest hope of him coming back. I used to cry, I used to scream, I lost my breath but there was nothing I could do. Turned out that he was getting married to a woman named Liana! I found it almost a month after he got married from his friend's social media. From that day onwards, every night was full of misery and some nights it went along with severe episodes of panic attacks.

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