"So do you know anything about BDSM?"
"Uh what the fuck-? No?!"
...
"Want me to teach you?"
×♡×
A miserable man, Luke, finds a stunning, pretty boy at a club. Hes sceptical at first but as the two get closer they have a roller coaster of a relations...
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×♡×
(Luke's pov)
I fucking hate myself so badly.
After I had walked away from Michael, My mood changed immediately after I had walked into my apartment door. My chest was full of guilt as soon as the door closed. I held the tears in as I trudged into my kitchen, clutching my bottle opener tightly as I popped off the cap of the cheap alcohol I can never get enough of.
I knew I shouldn't have told Michael those things. I'm lucky I didn't say something worse, honestly. What the fuck is wrong with me? I'm not a normal person. Something is wrong with me. And now Michael is gonna think I'm a bad person. Why did I even keep my hopes up?
Why do I have to be this way? I just want to be happy...Maybe I'm just undeserving of love. I'm not sure. I'm pretty much convinced everyone in my life is gonna leave me one way or another, there isn't any denying it.
As I wasted away on my couch, I could hear the door next to my apartment open and close. I didn't know if I wanted to be angry at Michael, or angry at myself. I felt like I needed to talk to someone about this. I wanted someone here with me.
I wanted Ashton.
I opened my phone, scrolled down my contact list and clicked on Ashton's.
"When is your next break?" I texted, feeling a little on edge as I stared at my screen, waiting for him to message back. After around 3 minutes, My nerves began to grow more anxious, my hands trembling slightly. I knew I was being clingy, and Ashton was a very busy person, but I couldn't help but feel devastated. My mind grew more insane the more time that passed without a response. I sat up on the couch, my leg bouncing with hyperactivity.
It was almost like a trigger had been pulled in my mind, making the explosion in my mind clear out any logical thoughts. He could be busy...Or he could be purposefully ignoring me. I don't want Ashton to be like the rest.
I stared at my phone screen, my eyes going frantic as my thumb scrolled up all of our messages.
Did I do or say something to upset him? I couldn't have, right? What if Calum convinced Ashton I'm a bad person? What If he hates me but can't tell me? Am I asking for too much? Maybe I'm being too flirty with him. I think he's just with me because he pities me. He's probably laughing with Calum or someone right now living his best life without me, thinking I'm an idiot for even THINKING I deserve any love, especially with Ashton. What if Michael and Ashton are talking right this moment?
I quickly shut my phone off before tossing it carelessly on the floor, tugging at my own hair as I trembled. My mind was going blank but crazy at the same time. I could feel tears rolling down my cheeks, but I didn't care. I was in my own home, the only place where all my emotions poured out of my soul, ripping the organs from my ribs.
