The entire drive back home Roger had been in an utterly foul mood. The blonde had pondered on what had happened when the man had taken Vivian out of the room. What had she said to anger him so severely? Why had he hurt her in such a public space? Roger was started to get sloppy and it showed, he was practically unable to control his temper even in social situations at this stage. That scared her more than anything. She found some small comfort whenever they were in public, knowing that for a small amount of time she would be free of his shouts, of his hands all over her body. It was freeing.
All she wished for was to see Vivian, she brought out the side of her that she wished everyone saw but now all she wished for was that Roger would've left her nose to heal by itself, to never have taken her to that hospital. She had put Vivian in irreversible danger and it hurt more than anything else she had endured during her relationship with this man.
"She's a cocky little bird isn't she." his words sent shivers down her spine, she hadn't wanted Roger to know of her existence let alone have formed such an opinion about her.
She chose to remain silent, unsure of how to answer him in fear of saying something wrong. It seemed as if everything she said was wrong, there was no winning with this man. Her leg bounced up and down aggressively, her hand twirling a few strands of hair around, hoping he would end the conversation there. She desperately wanted to defend Vivian, to fight for her the way she had always fought for her no matter the consequences but inevitably she was just a scared little girl under it all.
"You won't see her again Siobhan. Do you understand me? I won't have my girlfriend be friendly with such scum." the way he described her made her want to smash his head into the steering wheel but the remained calm. She could not shown emotion in this moment, she would remain strong, unfazed. Emotional women are weak women, they're pathetic and sensitive, she never wanted to be perceived as weak.
"If that's what you'd like." she tried to hide the cold tone that threatened her voice, she had to play the sweet, innocent girl to keep him as calm as possible.
If anyone found out about her situation they would simply tell her to leave, tell her that she could find help if she left. But it wasn't as simple as that. She hated Roger with every fibre of her being but something was pulling her back towards him whenever she gathered the courage to leave. She missed the good times, when he would hold her hand in public and treat her with such care and respect. She held on so desperately to the hope that the man that she once loved would come back to her. Although she wanted this she didn't truly believe in it, there was just a part of her that hoped that one day it would come true.
"That's a good girl. You won't ever lie to me like that again will you? " her breath hitched as he humiliated her, as he treated her like a child.
"No" that was the only word she could force out of her mouth. The way he spoke to her made her feel physically ill.
"No what Siobhan?" his tone more threatening.
"No i won't lie to you again" she spoke through gritted teeth.
He had remained silent for the remainder of the car journey, seemingly please with how their conversation ended. She should have felt some sort of relief at this, some security but she didn't believe it for a second. She had hoped far too many times, she had learned her lesson. Hope is dangerous it clouds your judgement.
She ran away to the one escape she could always count on Vivian. Her mind whirled with thoughts of their interactions. She thought back to their meetings, how Vivian could talk endlessly about her job, her son, her life, everything and never seem to run out of steam. Most people would have found what she spoke about boring but to Siobhan it was beautiful. Hearing how she loved so passionately, how she cared for the people in her life with such compassion made her heart flutter. She felt completely safe in that moment and for a second she would forget about Roger, his abuse, his hatred.
She was swiftly snapped out of her thoughts when she felt the car door slam shut. Flinching aggressively, she left out a deep exhale before following behind him back into the house. She thought back to the last time they had arrived home together, what he had done to her. It was almost a replica of what had happened and it made her terrified to step into the building.
Her pace slowed as she contemplated leaving, she looked around her, she could run. She could make it out of here if she was quick. But that wasn't possible, Roger made sure to remind her of that as he walked over to her, gripping her wrist with force and dragging her towards the front door. Her wrist throbbed underneath his touch, still healing from the numerous other times he had injured her in this way. She would never forget the feeling of his hands on her, even when she was along she could feel him on her.
The house was freezing, she could see the goosebumps forming on her skin. She asked herself time and time again why there house remained so cold despite the endless piles of money that her partner was in possession of.
Before she could even think she had been pushed up against the wall, pain reverberating up her spine. His hand gripped her throat tightly as she gasped for breathe underneath his grip. She didn't understand where this had come from yet she wasn't surprised. He didn't need a reason, he did what he liked, when he liked.
"We didn't get to finish our chat earlier. You know you can't get off that easily Siobhan. You humiliated me. You tried to ruin me. After everything I've done for you? This is why nobody will ever love you. You're lucky to have me" he spat out, her eyes drifting away from his face, not wanting to look at him anymore. Her vision has started to blur and part of her believe he would never let go. If she was to die her and now, he would not be the last thing that she saw.
"Look at me now" he pushed her further into the wall as she let out a small gasp. Her eyes immediately snapped towards him. She stared at him terrified, she hated showing how scared she was of him but in this moment she couldn't help it.
She could feel his hand crushing her throat, the breath being greedily snatched from her lungs.
He released his grip on her letting her drop to the floor in agony, gasping for each breath she took. A grin grew on his face and it make her feel sick, did she truly deserve this? No. She thought to Vivian, somebody did love her. He was wrong. Right.
Slowly he crouched down to her level so that the pair were face to face, a grin still plastered on his face. She looked at the man before her with horror, her breathing gradually becoming more and more regulated.
Roger hadn't finished his game just yet, he wanted to see the pure fear in her eyes as she realised that he was in control of her. That she was his puppet forever and there was nothing that she could do to stop that. He watched as she regulated her breathing, disappointed. His grin grew larger as he yelled in the blondes direction boo causing her to flinch aggressively. A small whimper escaped her throat, her breathing yet again speeding up.
He was pleased with himself at this point, he got up from his position giving her a swift kick on his way to the kitchen.
It was this moment that Siobhan decided she was done. She was fucking done. She would get out of this shithole and away from this man.
Maybe she deserved it. Maybe his treatment was karma but she was done. She was Siobhan Serpent, not this cowardly little girl that he had turned her into.
