Silent Longings, and Green tinged memories <33
Lucky are the girls,
Who hold the hearts of favoured boys.
Good for all of the boys,
Who are advocated by society.
My guy's like that too, won't lie,
He's everything they praise.
They say boys like him have it all,
Love at their call.
Mine's one of them, a dream I can't deny
His popularity shines like a distant star,
That can't be mine.
A silent wish upon a falling star,
To feel his touch no matter how far,
But I know he'll never reciprocated my feelings,
He'll never Love me back,
Unrequited Love.
Born with a silver spoon,
His path is clear,
Opportunities bloom, year after year.
Society whispers, his life's a dream,
A golden cage, it may not always seem.
He's everything they say a boy should be,
Popular, charming,
A mystery to me.
He's got the cash,
The charm, the perfect smile,
But can he write a poem for a while?
Talent unfolds with every stride,
He lights the room, no place to hide.
He've got the looks, the talent,
The endless friends,
Wonder if he needs someone who pretends.
Does his wealth cloud my judgement's gaze,
Is it his charm,
Or the money that amaze?
I yearn for him, yet doubts take flights,
Is it love's light, or a dazzling light?
I should start hating him
For he's not my concern,
For he should not be my concern.
I try, Lord I try my death
But I can't quit him,
More like an addiction.
The number of times
I've been thinking about him lately,
Is unhealthy, trust me.
Silent glances, a word unspoken,
A chance to speak forever broken.
Our paths may cross, but voices stay still.
Walls we've built, a silent pleas,
Maybe someday he'll talk to me.
Two souls adrift, a silent tide
Neither brave enough, to take the other side.
My heart whispers your name, a forbidden song
Yet reality bites where I don't belong.
Still a highschooler,
Got to study, focus on myself,
Not for me as easy as you
My fam's not as happy,
Not for me atleast.
I've got daddy issues and mommy issues too,
Yes I'm a middle child
Not neglected but negative attention all the time.
Unlike you, life's not a path of roses for me,
It is more like those of thorns.
Have a lot to do,
Growing up, leaving the family, earning a living.
But growing up is a slow process.
I can't no more take up
My father's angry breaths,
Can't always be the surface of striking for him,
My body has marks,
Of those shoot-outs I survived,
Maybe your battles are unseen,
While mine mark my skin, a battle ground keen.
Skin to my bones,
I've bruises,
Blue, and black,
Red sometimes won't deny,
Parts of the skin are swelled,
Some not all,
They'll heal soon,
For untill next week, 'physically'
As they are just marks of anger
And strikes from a rod.
My body has problems,
For it has been beaten several times,
Bot now she adjusts most of the time.
Won't blame my parents,
As it is not their fault,
Just that I'm a difficult child.
Daily rebukes, criticism, and beatings,
Gaslighting, manipulation by parents,
More poisonous than a toxic relationship.
I've learned now that all are not same,
Not all men are like my father,
But I fear the one I'll get with
Will be no different but more like my father.
I have a Father but not a Dad,
Never he had a chance.
For only if he knew how to Love.
Boy unlike you, I have a difficult relationship
With my parents,
I know, a huge red flag for most of the guys,
And for you too maybe.
But unlike the storms I've known,
Your smile brings the sun,
And the warmth of coming back home.
Not everytime it is the surface
Where the truth lies
But the deeper part,
The one not everyone wants to explore,
The one not everyone can see,
I've learned to love,
Even in hard times
'Cause not the surface I'm looking at,
But into Mariana Trench.
I'll still love you,
Even if you'll cheat on me
For in a difficult family
Children grow no self-esteem or self-respect.
Just a red flag for our own selves.
I'm not good with guys,
I've never tried to,
For I'm a isolated all girls school girl.
Even passing a guy feels like a risky space mission,
Talking to them is far like voyager 1.
I have a messed up life,
Messed up friendships, messed up interests,
Unlike you, who have a perfect life
And fair friendships,
Perfect friends.
Love that you got from your Parents and
Society,
I'm jealous.
I hate to feel like a victim,
And to sound pathetic,
I'm not depressed,
Just a teenager
With over-stimulated hormones.
Enmity for lil kids,
And finding old people cute,
How messed up of my brain.
For my decision of hating babies
And not having of my own
Is not because I'm a sadist,
But I have a far more reliable reason for that,
For,
''What if I'll turn like my parents,
What if that shit's in my blood,
In my DNA?''.
Have a deep fascination for
Suicide missions.
My life's messed up,
Giving up on it won't be hard,
But I just lack courage.
~ well, the guy I've been talking to in this poem
And describing as the perfect kid.... Is yes the October guy.
Just bringing down the few of many differences among us.
He doesn't even care by the way, he barely remembers my name
While I crave for him everyday and night.
Also the poster's designated to him and poem too, kinda.
- I tell the stars about you
TC<3
💙
