Can't you feel my heart beating? (Gabenath)

Chapter 15

Things were tense between them. Sadly, it wasn't all that unusual. Her time living in the mansion was always surrounded by the shadows and nightmares that haunted his soul.

Today, entering the gates makes her feel the same way. The constant cloud following their every move is more present than ever before. The words he spoke to her just weeks ago ring inside her head day and night and no matter how much she tries to rid herself of them they always return.

But how could she forget them? Gabriel seemed so broken to the thought that she might hate him. He cried over hands in a way that felt like he was begging her to stay and never leave.

All along, Nathalie had been fighting an internal battle with herself. An internal battle which consisted of not letting her emotions get in the way of their coparenting. Because that's what they have now. It's simply a cordial relationship between two adults that are raising the child they have in common.

Except, it appears she's failed miserably at that. Nathalie hates that she's so weak to his feelings. That all he has to do is behave as though his interest in her were beyond her merely being his son's mother, and she becomes weaker than a dying flower.

The thought has been roaming her head for weeks. The wetness of his tears and the softness of kiss continues to linger over her knuckles as she tries to understand the effect he seems to have on her.

She cares about him too much. And sometimes she thinks she shouldn't, not after the way he treated her.

But she can't help herself. Gabriel Agreste is a pin in her heart.

Sometimes, she allows herself to think of the aspects of their marriage, and why he allowed many things to occur. But she always ends up discarding the thought, coming to the conclusion that Gabriel felt lonely and desired nightly comfort.

His nightmares tortured him, and he needed that comfort so badly. The nightmares of having lost the woman he loved so deeply...

They're all wounds in her heart now... how she wishes she could erase those memories forever.

———

Nathalie enters the mansion and is immediately greeted by absolute silence. It wasn't uncommon for it to be quiet, but this silence felt different, unsettling.

With one hand she slowly pushes open the door of the atelier, her other carries the basket that perfectly holds her baby.

Nathalie's confused to find it empty. Gabriel is nowhere in sight, she uselessly calls his name but only the echo of her own voice answers her.

A sudden urge enters her chest, and she feels that she must go to his bedroom and check on him.

———

She finds herself in front of his bedroom door, her baby sleeping peacefully by her side. Her ears catch a bit of mumbling. The sound is an immediate reminder of something she had forgotten existed...

She reaches for the doorknob, her hand trembling with uncertainty.

The second the door flies open, Nathalie hurries to place her baby in a safe spot to then rush towards Gabriel.

He's trembling and breathing heavily. It appears the nightmares that he experiences continue to haunt him.

He lies on his back, the blankets are on the floor, as he grips onto the sheets under him. His head moves from side to side, seemingly searching for some sort of comfort.

Nathalie kneels beside him, placing her hand on his chest as she begins to stroke his hair.
"Shh, it's okay." She whispers just how she used to when he'd sleep with her and his nightmares started to creep in.