ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇʟᴏᴅʏ ᴏꜰ ꜱᴡᴇᴇᴛʜᴇᴀʀᴛꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ꜱɴᴏᴡꜰᴀʟʟ

𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚟𝚎

It had been weeks since both the betrayal of her first love and the death of her surrogate mother had occurred. 

Sharp pains stabbed at her heart, her stomach queasy and threatening to throw up any second. It was almost too much to bear. 

It was more anger than sadness, if she were to be completely honest. Hateful, unfeeling anger that all she wanted to do was forgive him and take him back. That she had spent a good portion of her life living with him and calling him her own, calling him things that she never thought she would do had it not been for the "healing power of love." 

A fist clenched around her heart, tears welling up in her eyes as she questioned what she had done wrong. 

It made no sense. 

He had everything she could've given him. Everything she thought of, they had. 

Trust, love, compassion, respect. 

Turns out it wasn't real.

If he knew it wasn't going to work out, if he wanted someone else, she would've let him go. She would have accepted it if he had just told her. But for him to go behind her back and whisper sweet-nothings to the woman she knew he knew that she hated, and he'd come back all in the same night and say the exact same things to her. 

He knew and she would've loved him regardless, yet there was nothing there for her. He had stolen her heart and run off with it.

She had given him everything and everything in between. All of herself, invited him into the people that were family, accepted his family as her own, loved him with all she had, and she had mistaken attachment for his love. 

She knew he was ambitious, always chasing for the things he couldn't reach, but she never knew it could be like this. That he would never be satisfied with what he had here on the ground.

She begged herself to think of the bad times, but for some reason all she could think of were the good ones. The good memories and the moments that she had cherished and locked away deep in her heart for the stories she was going to tell their kids when they eventually grew old and gray. 

Instead of taking them out one by one, they crashed all around her, flooding her head with "you could have done better" and "you weren't enough". 

As much as she wanted to blame him, she only blamed herself. 

How foolish was she to be unable to see the signs?

What had she failed to give to the world that it couldn't give back? 

Maude, to her credit, had kept her distance, understanding her older sister's utter despair and desire to be left alone. 

It had taken all her strength to answer the knocking at the door, persistent and frustrating. Billy taupe had been by the house more times than she could count, chased off by her siblings and even his own. 

Her heart swelled with anger as she marched over to the door, swinging it open and prepared to tell someone she had thought she would be able to spend the rest of her life with -  that he was a monster. 

An unfeeling, hateful monster-

Snow stood, slightly shocked, as he held up a basket covered in a red, silky fabric, and she was sure that it was a consolation present from Sessile and Yarrow, who had both but understandably distancing themselves from the Coveys in order to preserve the emotional health of her best friend. 

"Oh," she whispered, anger simmering slightly, but she opened the door wider, trying to smooth back her disheveled hair that had come about from being in her bed all day long, "Mr. Snow. I wasn't expecting you-"