The Book of Love

1987

Marta let her hand gently brush over Fina's shoulder and gazed at her figure in the first rays of sunlight that fell through the curtains. Her face was relaxed, almost smiling. The blanket covered her only halfway, so that Marta could follow the curve of her hips and the beginnings of her breasts with her eyes, in addition to her ribcage and shoulders. Her hair was wild on the pillow, her eyes were closed, her chest rose and fell evenly.
Marta was in no hurry to wake Fina. She could have looked at her tacitly for hours, worshipping her like a miracle, enchanted, full with awe and almost humbled. Her touches therefore remained gentle as a feather and she listened to the soft sound of Fina's breathing while she let her eyes continue to roam over Fina's curves.
I will never get enough, Marta thought. Never not wanting to wake up next to her. Never wanting not to fall asleep next to her. A happy sigh escaped her lips. I don't know if I have deserved you so far, Marta thought, but I will do anything to deserve you in the future. Anything. I'm yours. I will never let you go again.
Her fingers traced Fina's hips. Marta could tell from Fina's goose bumps that she was slowly waking up.

"I can hear you thinking," Fina murmured, with one half-open eye.
"Sorry."
"No, I think they're good thoughts, so keep thinking. But a little quieter, if you can."
The corners of Marta's mouth curled upward.
"You're so beautiful, mi amor," Marta whispered. She stroked Fina's cheeks and let her thumb graze Fina's lips, which half-asleep hinted at a kiss.
"Thinking, Marta, you should think quietly. Not talking."
"Sorry."
Once more she let her hand glide along Fina's side, to her hip and finally under the covers to her thigh.
"And if you do that," Fina murmured into the pillow, "I'll be wide awake in no time."
"Maybe I just can't resist." Carefully, she crawled a little closer, stroked Fina's lower lip again with her thumb, and finally leaned forward and gently kissed her.
"Mhm...", Fina let out a contented, almost humming sound that was repeated when Marta stroked the curve of her bottom. "I have to be at the new health center for a check-up at 9 a.m., you know that, right?" she murmured with her eyes still closed.
"It's only half past six," Marta whispered.
"Then why are you waking me up?" Fina's voice sounded pained.
"I don't intend to wake you. I just want to look at you. And touch you."
For the first time that morning, Fina's body seemed to move a little, and she almost seemed to want to roll over onto her back.
"No... por favor... don't move. Just stay as you are. You look as if Goya had painted you... let me enjoy you a little longer. Just a little longer..."
Fina's mouth curved into a smile, but her eyes remained closed. Marta couldn't resist, stretched her neck again and gave her a gentle kiss on the corner of her mouth, before carefully sucking on her lower lip. She ran her fingers through Fina's open hair and then along her neck. She left another kiss there, then paused and looked at Fina's smile for a moment.

---

Carefully Begoña stroked Luz's hair. She had fallen asleep a while ago, after a long evening full of love and tenderness that had lasted into the night. Begoña was tired too, her body felt heavy and warm, the sweat was drying slowly on her back. Nevertheless, she couldn't bring herself to take her eyes off Luz's body or not to gaze at her face, not to consciously absorb the smell of her desire and enjoy it.
I was so stupid, she thought for a moment. This is all I ever wanted. Once more she stroked Luz's hair. Luz moved a little, let out a contented sigh, but luckily didn't seem to wake up. She didn't want Luz to wake up. She just wanted to look at her for a little while longer and enjoy the warm feeling, while in the background of this feeling she still sensed the passion simmering that she had felt a few hours ago.
She had experienced it for more than three years now, but it still amazed her. When they had spent the first night like this, Begoña had almost been shocked. So that's what it feels like, she thought back then. When you feel safe. When you feel secure. When you desire someone else and feel desired in return. When your heart is on the verge of bursting and yet it does not. She had been ashamed when she started to cry in Luz's arms. Happy, in love, a little bit remorseful and mostly relieved. Relieved that her trip back then to Buenos Aires had not, as it might have seemed at the very beginning, been unsuccessful and too late.