The Tragedy of a Pinball Wizard

One Hour Earlier

-One Hour Earlier-

As they shut the door behind them, leaving the other half of their group, Wally was feeling concerned about the path that lie before them. "Oliver, are you ready to face the American Captain? This could be quite a fight We've got ahead of us."

"Of course, I am. I'm not afraid of the American Captain. He took my favorite pinball table away from me. He should be the one who's afraid of me." Oliver explained.

"I'm glad you're feeling confident at least. We'd be in pretty bad shape if we were both scared that we would lose." Wally said begrudgingly.

"You seriously think there's a single chance in hell that we'll lose to this dweeb? We have this!" Oliver shouted as he swung his battle axe into the wall. Wally just barely ducked out of the way in time.

"Watch it man! You almost put my head on the floor!" Wally scolded.

"You're being dramatic." Oliver countered as he struggled to dislodge the axe from the wood.

Wally rolled his eyes. "Anyway, how do you suppose we should go about trying to smoke him out?"

"I was just going to try random rooms until we find something that's of use to us." Oliver shrugged as he finally pulled his axe free from the wall.

"Where should try first?" Wally asked.

"I guess this one works." Oliver replied as he picked a door at random and grabbed the knob. He twisted and pushed to enter the room on the other side. The pair was met with the sound of screaming and cheering filling the air. Oliver and Wally found themselves standing in an indoor theater filled with excited pirates.

"What the hell is going on here?" Wally inquired.

"Who cares, we got the drop on them!" Oliver brandished his axe in the pirates' direction. "Come get some, pirates! You don't stand a chance!"

One of the pirates yelled to Oliver without taking his eyes off the video screen. "Shut the fuck up! Can't you see we're busy?"

"You don't want to fight us?" Oliver's axe hand fell back down to his side.

"God no! We're watching fucking football!" the same pirate barked. As he said the word "football", the room erupted into cheering. The group of pirates were indeed watching football on the screen before them.

"We love football! We love football! We love football!" the group chanted in unison.

One pirate became emotional and began to sob aloud. "I love football so much!"

This only worked to piss off his fellow crew mates. "Don't you dare think for even one second that you love football more than me asshole!" One pirate spoke through gritted teeth.

The first pirate was still crying and managed to break through the tears with, "that's not possible! I love blue team with all my heart and all my soul! I would sell my first-born child into slavery for a chance to spend just one day with their Norwegian quarterback Fütbol Plair!"

The other pirate escalated their disagreement and was becoming increasingly more aggressive. "Fuck you! You're a bandwagon fan! I've loved blue team since before you were even born! I've been with them through the good times and the bad! I've spent tens of thousands of dollars on their merch and tickets to their games! I have a tattoo of their logo on my back!"

The pirate stood and turned to face away from his interlocuter. He flipped up the bottom of his shirt to reveal a blue team tramp stamp. All the other pirates ooh'd and aah'd in amazement at his dedication to the cause.