The Tragedy of a Pinball Wizard

Starting the Day

 Oliver Moore. A name that struck fear into the hearts of even the greatest pinball players. Because he was the greatest. Around the arcade he was simply known as "Master". His speedy trigger finger always topped every leader board of every machine. Rumor around town was he once played for ten hours straight on a single ball. It only fell between his bumpers because he was bored. He was by far the best there had ever been. He would go on to do great things for the pinball community one day. He was a beacon of hope for every man, woman, and child to ever fall in love with the game. His name was known all across the great city of Los Angeles. Whenever he entered a new arcade, all able-bodied patrons bowed in respect for king. However, one arcade in particular was his absolute favorite. Wally's Pinball Palace boasted on their sign out front "Home of the Master!" In all capital letters. It brought in countless visitors to watch the Master play the game. He came to Wally's six days a week to play pinball. He never came on Sundays, however. Sundays were for conquering new arcades and filling their leaderboards with his greatness. Someday, he would expand his pinball empire to include all the arcades in Los Angeles and eventually even further beyond.

Oliver woke up bright and early every morning to make sure he was ready to play pinball from open to close. At the crack of four AM, his alarm was blaring, and he was ready to get started with the day. Oliver made sure to start off every day right with a nice warm shower and coffee. He wasn't much of a coffee drinker himself, but he knew people like to drink it for the caffeine to wake them up, so he came up with the perfect solution. One day, he discovered that his shower head was removable and had just enough room for a coffee filter filled with grounds.

"This is perfect!" He said to himself. "Now I can get the caffeine from the coffee without having to drink this disgusting slop!" So, from that day forth, Oliver showered in coffee every morning to absorb the caffeine through his skin with the nice coffee smell sticking to him as an added bonus. Once his coffee shower was out of the way, it was time for breakfast. The most important meal of the day. Oliver was so excited to start off the day that he threw open his cabinet door with such vigor that he tore the door right off its hinges. He looked at the door in his hand and knew that he needed to store this somewhere until he had a chance to fix it. He scanned around is small apartment and realized that other than his empty armoire against the far wall and his shoe closet, he had nowhere to put the door he was holding.

"I have nowhere to store this door that I'm holding." He loudly spoke to himself. He saw that there was no other option. "I have no other option." He stated. He turned to the wall next to him, raised the door with both hands high over his head, and brought the door down with all his strength and fast as he could muster and smashed through the drywall in such a way that the cabinet door was safely and firmly lodged in the wall. He then took a step back to admire his handy work. He placed his hands on his hips and shook his head.

"I am such a genius; I can't believe I thought of that." Now that the door was safely stored away Oliver quickly shifted his focus back to breakfast. He glanced over all the food he had in his cabinet. Only beans. All he had was beans. However, this was not a problem for Oliver because beans were his absolute favorite food in the whole wide world. Oliver was so excited to chow down on those beans.

"I cannot wait to chow down on those beans." He said to himself. Oliver had a very bad habit of talking to himself.

"I have a very bad habit of talking to myself." He told himself as he reached for the can of succulent beans. The time came to break open that can and devour glorious beans.