HU Oneshots

The Circle of Idiots

It was no secret that the guys of Hollywood Undead were chaos in human form when they were drunk. Like this night after a particularly energetic show. All six were in the front lounge of the tour bus. It was already dark outside and all of them were way past tipsy but not quite hammered yet and in this middle of drunk, the wildest conversations were born. Conversations that any other human being would see as weird and possibly creepy.

"Matty. You're gay." Charlie said confidently. Funny snickered and Kurlzz glared at Charlie. "I'm not." He countered weakly, too drunk to think of a proper response. "It's not gay if you say no homo afterwards." Danny stated drunkenly while laying half across J-Dog's lap. "It's called homosapien not heterosapien." J-Dog added and took another sip of his beer, spilling a bit on Danny. Danny shrieked and moved quickly, rolling off J-Dog's lap and onto the floor.

"Fine! You may call me gaylord, lord of the gays." Kurlzz stated with a slur in his speech from the alcohol. Charlie laughed loudly and almost spilled his drink if Johnny hadn't caught it. "Watch out." Johnny grumbled and pulled Charlie into a sitting position again. Charlie grinned and pecked Johnny's cheek. Johnny moved his head away. "Charlie!" He exclaimed. Charlie rolled his eyes. "No homo dude." Charlie grinned and high fived Funny.

The next weird conversation was started by J-Dog. "Eating meat is just raping cows with your mouth." J-Dog stated proudly. Five weird gazes and one response. "Jorel, What the fuck?" Johnny asked. No more answers from J-Dog on that conversation so Danny began with the weird starters. "I've been known for licking eyeballs." Danny called out from his spot on the floor. Charlie and Johnny laughed. Charlie spilled some of his drink on Danny. Danny cried out once more. "Stop creaming on my boyfriend!" Funny called out. Danny hit Funny's leg as the rest cracked up laughing.

"I drink to forget and then I forget to drink." Johnny sighed and took a sip of his beer. Charlie nodded along without even registering what Johnny had said. Around 10 Minutes later Kurlzz was rambling about aliens. "Look at this. This is autism in lighter form." Funny chuckled and patted Kurlzz head. Kurlzz moved his head. "No touchy." He scowled. Funny snickered. "Fight me, you ceramic bitch." Funny said and Kurlzz shoved him, so he landed square across J-Dog's lap.

"Oh, Jesus' fuck." J-Dog cursed, straddled by the sudden weight on his lap. "Fucking hell Funny." He followed up his curse and shoved Funny off his lap, letting him fall on Danny who called out. "I'm the living embodiment of 'It could be worse.' so suit yourself." Johnny laughed. "You know Johnny..You are as intimidating as a butterfly." Charlie said randomly as he leaned his head on Johnny's shoulder. "Say that again and we'll put it to the test." Johnny said. Charlie swallowed and chuckled nervously. "I was joking. You're a Lion." Charlie grinned. Danny sat up with Funny still on his lap. "Lion?" A collective "Danny, NO!" followed because they knew Danny would start to sing. Danny pouted. "Fine but have I told you guys about how much I love you?" Danny then asked. Everybody rolled their eyes. "Yes Danny." Funny answered for everyone.

10 Minutes later, Johnny furrowed his brows, looking at a passed-out Charlie who was leaning against him. "I have to carry him, don't I?" Johnny asked. J-Dog nodded. "And you have to carry Funny and possibly Danny." He said and motioned to the two passed out men on the floor. Johnny rolled his eyes. "I feel like a dad with these guys." He grumbled and picked up Charlie first and carried him to his bunk. Next, he picked up Funny and carried him to his bunk. He did the same with Danny. J-Dog followed him and got into his own bunk. Johnny walked back to the front lounge and woke up Kurlzz who had passed out first. Kurlzz grumbled but went to bed as well. Johnny was the last to get into his bunk, only to find Charlie in it. He rolled his eyes and got in behind Charlie, spooning him.