Doctor Kim

Chapter 3

After I'd dried off enough, I let down my hair, grabbed my phone, and padded back into the house, shivering in the air conditioning. The enormous television was on, showing some news program, and the volume was so low I could barely hear it.

Dr. Kim didn't seem to be watching.

She sat casually on the large sectional couch, one arm thrown over the back of it, and gazed vacantly at the coffee table before her. The angle of her body and her form fitting t-shirt showed off her toned frame. Her jeans clung to her powerful legs, and I lingered inside the doorway, gawking weirdly at her while my toes burrowed into the plush carpeting.

My desire to talk to her was strong, but I shouldn't. She was Jay's dad. I couldn't exactly ask her for advice on what I should do now, could I? I cinched the towel tighter around my waist and made my way into the spare bedroom where I'd gotten changed.

After I shut the door, my disappointment made me move slowly. I dropped my phone beside my stack of clothes and sighed. What was I going to do? Wait for Jay to call me? Technically, it was done. I'd told him we were over.

Knuckles rapped softly on wood. "Hanni?"

I went motionless, and my heart skipped a beat faster. "Yeah?"

"I . . . need to say something," Dr. Kim's voice came from the other side of the door. "Can I come in?"

I clenched a hand tight on the side of my towel. I hadn't started changing, and she'd seen me in my swimsuit a minute ago, but that had been beside the pool. It was stupid, but I felt more exposed now that I was in the house. I pushed the thought aside. "Yeah."

She stepped into the room, shut the door behind her, and when she faced me, her shoulders sagged. Whatever she was about to say, it seemed deadly serious, and she'd struggled with the decision.

"What's wrong?" I whispered.

"I shouldn't be saying this, and it's not my business, but Jay—" Her eyebrows pulled together. "You should end it with him."

I nearly fell over. "What? Why?"

It took her a lifetime to say something. Every rise and fall of her chest as she breathed made it harder for me to do so. I ran a list of reasons in my head of why she'd ask this, and one of them was absurd.

"Because," she said, "I've watched the way he treats you, and it's not right. He's at a point in his life where he's extremely selfish, and he's not going to get better. Not for a while." Dr. Kim's expression was resigned. "Not until he learns to stop taking things for granted, and I'm unfortunately speaking from experience. When I was his age, I was the same way."

It was a lot to process, and I swallowed thickly. It was hard to think around her. Maybe the lemonade had been drugged.

I opened my mouth to tell her I'd broken it off with Jay five minutes ago, but she kept talking.

"I know this all sounds terrible. What kind of dad am I, telling you to break up with him?" She shook her head at her own question. "I don't want to see either of you get hurt, but I think that's bound to happen, no matter what you do. I'm probably going to walk out of this room regretting I said any of this, but I want to be clear, this is on him, not you."

She rubbed a hand on her defined jaw.

"You're a great girl, Hanni, and frankly, you deserve more than my son can give right now."

"Wow." It was a breath, rather than a word from me.

Dr. Kim's face twisted with embarrassment, and her shoulders straightened sharply. "I'm sorry. I really shouldn't have said anything."

"No, wait," I cried as she turned toward the door. "I just broke up with him."

"You did?" She stilled. "Why?"

I dropped my gaze to the carpet. It was too hard to look her in the face as I told her, her son was less than perfect, even when Dr. Kim seemed to know Jay was human. "For the same reason you just said. Jay and me, we're different people from who we were three years ago." My gaze crawled up Dr. Kim's body until I could meet her eyes. "I'm not sure the new me likes the new him all that much," I admitted.

"I get it," she said, and she genuinely seemed to. There wasn't defensiveness or anger in her eyes. It looked mostly like relief. "I grew up a lot when I was in school. I did stupid shit until I figured out how to be an adult, and I'm guessing that's where he is right now."

"Still figuring it out?" It was a half-question, half-statement, because I knew it was true. Jay couldn't get a handle on all the freedom of college life, and he'd gone overboard.

"Yeah. He's got a ways to go," Dr. Kim said.

"I'm sorry."

Confusion flooded Dr. Kim's face. "For what?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. That I couldn't make it work."

She looked at me like I was being silly. "Don't do that. This isn't your fault. Things don't work out sometimes, and that's just life."

I took in a deep breath. It was strange to talk about it with her, but it felt good too. It was nice to hear I wasn't to blame. She was always so good at knowing what to say or do, and with that thought, I grew sadder than I'd been all day. "It sucks. I feel like I broke up with you too."

The second it was out of my mouth, I wanted it back. Her eyes went wide.

"I mean," I sputtered, "because we won't see each other again after this. Like, do we say goodbye?"

I'd been a huge part of Jay life. There were pictures of me with my boyfriend sprinkled throughout this house. I'd even gone on vacation with the Kim's last summer.

I wasn't overly emotional, but I blinked back the threat of tears. "Is it weird to say I'm going to miss you?"

Dr. Kim's face was heartbreaking, and the gravel in her voice matched. "No, not at all. I'm going to miss you too."

As I swallowed the lump in my throat, she moved toward me, her arms spread open for a hug. I stepped into it eagerly and let her crush me against her chest. If she didn't care my swimsuit was wet, I didn't either.

She was warm and solid.

Her arms wrapped tighter, holding me, and it brought on a fresh threat of tears. I didn't want things to change. I didn't want this part to be over.

My cheek was pressed to her chest, and I could hear the hurried beat of her heart inside. I closed my eyes, squeezing back the tears as her hand smoothed down the hair on the back of my head. How long would she let me stay like this?

Her warm palm was on the small of my back, and once again, the contact of it against my skin left me breathless. She moved, shifting the position subtly, as if settling me into her embrace, and unexpected pleasure jolted through me. It was instantly followed by a wave of shame. She was only offering advice and comfort. This was the most inappropriate time to get turned on.

Yet I grew heavier each moment I was in her arms, wanting to get closer to her. She smelled like wood and leather, and the scent was enticing. Her muscles under my hands flexed and tensed, like whatever this strange thing happening between us was, she could sense it too.

The hand in my hair moved, and she cupped the side of my face, drawing me back enough so she could peer down into my eyes. The way she gazed at me, it sucked the last of the air from my body. Made every nerve ending tingle.

Her look was intense. Wild. It announced she was considering doing something very, very bad.

We stood as two people on a crumbling cliff, afraid to move or the ground would give way beneath and make us fall. Only our shoulders lifted with our hurried, uneven breaths. Her palm seared against my cheek, and my eyes hooded.

When her gaze slid down to my parted lips, I knew we were doomed, and the worst part was I didn't care. I wanted it to happen. I tilted my chin up to meet her as she lowered her mouth to mine.