Doctor Kim

Chapter 9

I closed my eyes as unexpected tears sprang into them. How cruel was the world to us, to give Minji and me this perfect experience, and know we couldn't have it ever again? I almost wished we hadn't acted on our desires. Now I'd always know what I was missing.

"I'm close," she said as a warning. "Are you close?"

Because my pleasure mattered to her, and my heart twisted further. I didn't want to reach the finish because then this would be over, but . . . "Yeah."

She double-downed her effort, determined to get me there. Her warm lips sucked on my neck as her fingers moved furiously over my clit, and her pounding thrusts seemed to go deeper.

"Oh," I cried. It rolled from me in unstoppable waves. "Oh, oh, oh!"

"Yes." Her body hardened like stone, and then we both broke apart, her only seconds behind me. Ecstasy ripped a hole in my belly and poured hot pleasure in its place. I jerked and contracted with each shock, and inside I felt the rhythmic pulses of her climax.

Bliss sped through my veins, temporarily sweeping away judgement, leaving only us in this moment together. She hung onto me as I clung to the bedpost, both of our knees dug into the bed and our bodies shaking.

It seemed like as long as we remained like this, gravity couldn't touch us, and we lingered even as the orgasms faded to nothing. I turned my head toward hers, and she slanted her lips over mine, kissing me with so much tenderness and care, it would have made me tremble if I wasn't already.

Eventually, we parted. I fell into a heap on the bed, endured another long, slow kiss from this impossibly beautiful woman who could never be mine. She left me only to remove the condom, then returned to the bed, wrapping her arm around me like it was the most natural thing.

"This is weird, right?" I whispered. Cuddling. But I needed it.

"If it is, I don't care." She used a fingertip to trace my hairline, pushing a lock of hair back from my flushed face, giving me a serious look. "It's what I want to do."

God, she made me melt. I curled in closer, pressing my sweat-damp skin against her. When I was burrowed in her arms, one leg hooked over her, her fingers swept absentmindedly up and down my back, tracing faint patterns.

"Stay," she said.

A sliver of panic ran through me. "Overnight?" Because there was no way in a million years I could, no matter how much the idea excited me.

She skewed her face, maybe realizing how impractical the request was. "Just for a little while."

I took no convincing. I was tired, and warm, and happy right where I was. I let out a deep breath. "Yes."

Her smile was wide and bright.

I blinked my blurry eyes and shifted before I realized where I was. Minji's arm was cast over my waist, holding me, even when we'd both fallen asleep. I couldn't tell what time it was. The sun was still up, at least enough to generate some light, but the room was dark and cave-like.

When I wiggled out from under her arm, Minji stirred, but didn't wake. She rolled onto her back and sighed, oblivious. I sat up and stared at the naked woman, crossing my arms over my chest to hold in my warmth. I needed clothes.

More importantly, I needed to get out of this bed, out of this house, and down the street to my car. The dark clouds from before had moved in, and although it wasn't raining yet, it was going to start any minute. Thunder boomed and shook the pane of glass in the balcony door, like the universe was reminding me how to escape.

Except, I didn't want to.

It was impossible, but I forced myself to slip off the bed and slowly tug on my clothes, wondering the whole time what I was going to do. Should I wake her up? I glanced at the black clouds outside and back to the woman on the bed. I didn't have time to enjoy how good she looked like that. She seemed younger when she slept, and she looked more beautiful.

I was on borrowed time with the storm. I had to go.

Because not only would saying goodbye take too much time, I'd do anything to avoid it. I didn't want her to see me as I walked away and was left gutted. This afternoon might have been wrong, but it wasn't a mistake, and if she woke up with regret in her eyes, I couldn't bear to see it. It was better to slip away and not ruin what we had.

The door was silent as I pulled it open, and I watched through the glass as I closed it carefully behind me, making sure Minji didn't hear. I rationalized my escape as I hurried down the staircase. She worked crazy hours at the hospital. Didn't she deserve to get some sleep?

A fat raindrop landed on the part in my hair and rolled forward down my face as I scrambled along the wooded lawn. I wiped it away with a shaky hand. By the time my flip-flops hit the sidewalk, it was pouring. Cold sheets of rain soaked my tank top, my hair, and squished between my bare toes.

I was drenched when I crawled into the driver's seat of my car and shoved the keys in the ignition. Rain drilled against the windows, loud and angry. The car interior was muggy and confining, trapping me inside, where I couldn't run from my thoughts any longer.

Oh, my God.

What the hell had I just done?