The Cavalry is Dead

Chapter 13: I Debate Drowning Myself, For Real This Time

"Can your toenails fall off?" Romes asked.

She was sitting by a stream, her black trousers rolled up to her knees. Her feet looked like pale shells in the water. Jax scrubbed at his sword, trying to ignore the metallic scent of blood. Xander — who'd been happily dunking his shirt and wringing out the excess water — raised an eyebrow.

"Is that a rhetorical question?" Xander asked.

Romes wriggled her toes. "It's a real question."

"Oh." Xander perked up. "In that case, yes." He squeezed the shirt. "Toenails are made of a hardened protein called keratin. If the toenail experiences blunt trauma or injury, then it can detach and—"

"Some of us," Asa said loudly, "are trying to eat."

He stuffed a bit of canned fish into his mouth. Romes smirked.

She wriggled her toes more vigorously. "Squeamish?"

"No," Asa said, "but I don't want to hear about your toenails." He held out a chunk of fish for Bibi. "I don't want to hear about any of your nails, actually."

Bibi munched on the tuna, her bum wiggling in delight. Asa patted her head. The other boy had taken a real shine to the pegapiglet over the last six hours; Jax didn't have the heart to mention that fish gave Bibi terrible gas.

Jax set down the sword, leaning back on his palms. The sky was the colour of milky tea, and he could see a few birds circling like black ghosts. His whole body ached; he felt like he'd been put through a meat grinder several times, and then punched into the shape of a hamburger. No wonder Percy had been so miserable all the time.

"Oi," Asa said. "Fish Food." He turned, and the other boy held out a chunk of cooked meat. "D'you want some rabbit?"

Jax's stomach flipped over. "I'm okay."

"Are you sure?" Asa raised an eyebrow. "You look like crap."

Jax almost smiled. "Cheers."

"Here," Asa said. "Take the rabbit."

Jax took the rabbit. The meat felt hot and dry in his hands, and he imagined the rabbit's frantic heartbeat. He surreptitiously hid the meat in a clump of tall grass. This is getting ridiculous, Jax thought. I just have to tell them I'm vegetarian.

He opened his mouth.

"It's not kenophobia," Xander said, interrupting his thoughts.

They all turned to look at him. Xander was shaking out a boot, his expression very calm. Jax exchanged a look with Romes.

"What isn't?" Romes asked carefully.

"Earlier," Xander said, "I told you that the empty sky was kenophobia. A fear of open spaces. But that's not exactly true." Several pebbles shook loose of the boot. "It's what that empty space represents."

"Oblivion?" Romes asked.

"A lack of birds," Xander said.

Jax avoided looking at the others. The trouble with Xander, he thought, was that it was impossible to tell if he was joking; it was like trying to guess what was inside a sealed box, but also you were blindfolded and had a purple hedgehog chewing on your ears.

Asa lowered his chunk of rabbit. "You're scared of there being... no birds?"

"Birds are excellent indicator species," Xander said. "Their migration patterns can be used to determine the health of an ecosystem. If there aren't any birds..." He popped the boot on to his right foot. "Besides, I have a personal investment in birds. They're my friends."