The Cavalry is Dead

Chapter 16: A Plant Takes Me on a Rollercoaster of Death

"My hair," Asa muttered, "will never recover from this."

They were climbing a steep trail, winding between sharp rocks that bit at the milky sky like fangs. Three days had passed since their encounter with the man-eating birds, and Jax could still smell entrails on their clothes. Every muscle in his body had contorted into a knot. Ahead, Romes adjusted her rucksack.

"Why don't you cut it?"

Asa stared as if she'd suggested murdering a kitten. "Cut it?"

"Sure," Romes said. "That'd get the guts out."

Asa cast his eyes skyward. "Haven't you ever seen a painting of a hero? All of them have fabulous hair. It's a long-standing tradition." And then, as if the thought had just occurred to him: "We need a name."

Romes hopped over a log. "What do you mean?"

"Us." Asa gestured between them. "We need a name."

Her nose wrinkled. "Why?"

"All heroes have a name," Asa said.

She grabbed an exposed root, pulling herself up a steep bank. "You're a convicted felon, Asa. Not a hero."

"A hero," Asa said, charging up the hill, "is someone that rescues people. I'm rescuing the world. Makes me a hero, doesn't it?"

Romes gave him a look. "A hero would have better taste in tunics."

"Whatever." Asa kicked at a rock. "What about The Fearsome Foursome?"

Romes looked incredulous. "The Fearsome Foursome?"

"No, you're right," Asa mused. "Too obvious. And anyway, Bibi makes five." He looked fondly at the pegapiglet, who was a lump in Xander's pocket; her soft snores rose from beneath the fabric. "Swords of Death?"

Romes cast her eyes upward. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

"Hand of Terror?"

"I take it back," Romes said. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

"I don't like this game," Jax said.

He bit into a strip of dried fruit. Asa was always trying to introduce games during their walks. "Kick-the-pebble-down-the-path" game. "Find-an-object-beginning-with-every-letter-of-the-alphabet" game. "Juggle-knives-with-your-eyes-closed" game. Really, Jax thought, it was getting rather tiring.

Asa started down the path. "What was your cousin called, Fish Food?"

"Percy."

"No," Asa said. "Like, his band of warriors."

"Oh," Jax said. "The Iron Hearts."

"You see?" Asa snapped his fingers. "That's a cool name."

Jax half-closed his eyes; his throat felt dry, and fatigue gnawed at his bones. "I don't want to be like Percy."

"Really?" Asa raised an eyebrow. "Because I remember in the Forest of Nightmares—"

"Stop it," Romes said. "You're being rude."

Her voice was short. She didn't look at Jax as she scrambled down a short drop, her dark ponytail swinging. Asa kicked the same rock.

"What?" Asa demanded. "The image of Persophecles snogging your face off is burned into my memory. And if it wasn't for Fish Food, I wouldn't have had to endure that." He turned to Jax. "You have some serious issues, mate."

Jax rubbed a hand over his eyes. "Look, I didn't have a choice."

"Did you really hate your cousin?" Asa asked.