WHAT IF?

3.

MIA

I unlock the door to my dorm and throw my bag away at the couch. My gaze shoots straight towards the clock showing five in the evening. I slouch towards the couch and sink into it beside my bag. This was one hell of a day. And I am so tired! My legs can't even bring themselves to go in the kitchen and let me have a glass of water. I rest my head back closing my eyes and sigh when I hear Lara in her bedroom. She is my only friend who has never let me down or abandoned me in my lowest, and I love her immensely for that. We have known each other since our sixth form and our friendship has only grown more beautiful and deeper by the time.

I don't even have to try listening to what is going on in her room. She loves singing and often does karaoke nights in there – her abode of peace, as she likes to call it. She is a wonderful singer and has a lovely voice. Anybody can be enchanted to her and listen to her songs for hours once she starts to shower her magic. I love that so much about her, but it's just the rightful duty of a friend to never let it show to them.

'Oh my God, Lara. Turn it down! My ears will start bleeding now!'

A pause of exactly ten seconds, 'Shut it, and get your sorry self here. RIGHT NOW!'

 She blasts in her microphone so that I do not have any chance of missing any word. I rush towards her room and fly open her door, 'Have you completely lost it? Why are you shouting in your microphone? I can hear you pretty well without that stupid thing too. And I have told you not to do these things. Other people also live in the very same building. Let them live peacefully at least.' She laughs at my frantic expressions. I throw the nearest pillow on that damn girl for laughing even at serious things. I have received several complaints regarding this. I have tried everything in my power to control it, since she isn't someone who could be stopped all together. But it's a matter of fact that she lives in her own world and won't give any fuck to anyone. She is the most carefree person I have ever seen, something I have always admired.

'Fine. How was your day?' She asks as she seats herself on her bed.

'Don't! Horrible! I can't even imagine things like that can even happen to someone.'

Her expression changes from cheerful to pure mischief with a tinge of concern.'Why? Trouble in paradise?' I open my mouth to answer but snap it shut and look at her in confusion.

'What? That is not what that phrase means.'

'Oh, I know what it means. In general, and for you specifically too.'

'And would you do me the honour to enlighten me, madame?'

'Oui, ma chère, since you will never have any partner in the foreseeable future, your college is the only paradise for you. And so, any trouble in paradise?'

I laugh at her hideous explanation. Her use of French while conversing in English is a habit she will never leave, though she has been in London since her childhood. I look down and start telling her about my day from scratch. I'll have to give it to her. Her level of patience is so immense. But I guess that is what's required when you are pursuing psychology. She listens to my whole rant and finally says that its completely normal for such things to happen and there was nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about.

Well, too late. TOO MUCH LATE!

I look at her and thank nature for doing at least this thing right by me, to give me a person like her.

'Thank you for listening, Lara.'

She blinks towards me unnecessarily several times and sits up straight.'Ms. Mia Sutton, are you high? On your first day? Did these kids give you anything to eat or drink?

I giggle at her remark. 'No, idiot. I can't even be grateful now? Is that how it will be?'Ah, there she is. You can be grateful but you don't have to thank me, you know that, right?'

'Hey, I am not one of your clients from your internship. You are my fucking friend. Act like one.'

I say that with my voice raised a little so that she sees my intentions. I have noticed that given her hectic schedule, she sometimes forgets to differentiate between her workplace and her home place. And I am not particularly a fan of that. She has tried to separate her things out but sometimes small things like this do occur.I freshen up and come out in the living room to see Lara in the kitchen, preparing something. 

That was odd.

 Lara never stepped into the kitchen. And I mean NEVER! I close the distance with large but hushed strides and raise an eyebrow at her.

She looks at me with a blank face and replies, 'You have guests. And you did not even tell me.'

I blink at her in confusion. No, I don't. Who is it?'

She shook her head. 'They told me they were your friends.'

'It was my first day, for God's sake. And you know I don't do friends.'

We both look at each other a moment and I grab a knife beside me on the counter as my facial muscles relax. I walk casually towards the drawing room tugging to my weapon tightly. I slide it beneath my sleeve so that my 'guest' doesn't have to worry about it. As I reach to the room, I freeze. I stand there assessing the hall for any clue but I find no one. Only a bouquet of roses and lilies of different colours. My heart starts to race as I move slowly towards the couch and pick the flowers up.

No note.

'Who is it?' Lara asks from a distance behind me.

'No one.' I reply, turning to face her.

She lets out a nervous laugh and steps back. 'That is not possible. I let someone in. And they did not have this bouquet with them.'

My instincts flared to the surface, 'You let some strange person in? Without asking me? Why did you do that?'

'I don't know. I told you! The man said he knew you. Someone else was also there with him but he didn't come in.'

'What were they wearing?'

'Uh, I didn't notice much. The one who came inside wore casual attire. The one stayed had black sunglasses on too.'

My hands run through my hair and I rub my face. 'You are a psychologist, Lara. A FUCKING PSYCHOLOGIST! You didn't even bother to notice them?'

At this point, her patience snapped. She roared, 'You do not talk to me like that! That is not how things work. Get your shit together or get out of here!'I pause. Completely stunned.

Complete silence.

She breathes a deep breath and continues, 'I am sorry. I did not mean it that way. Nothing happened, look. You are safe – we, are safe. Take a deep breath with me.'I swallow hard the lump in my throat and nod at her slightly. We inhale deeply through our nose and exhale out through our mouth. We repeat the exercise a couple of times until we both have steady heart beats.

'you okay?' she asks with her hand raised towards me to hold my hand.

'yeah, are you okay?' I step towards her but don't hold her arm. She notices it and drops her hand too.

I look around and rub my hands together, 'It's five. I am going for a walk in the park. Call me if you need anything.' Even though it was way past than five, I didn't even look at the wall clock properly.

She shakes her head in agreement. 'Do you want me to be there too?'

'No, I'll be fine.'

I take an oversized jacket hanging with my bag on the stand and rush out before she could answer. I accidently slammed the door shut but I couldn't care less at the moment.