WHAT IF?

8.

ETHAN

I pause in my track as I spot a tiny figure with what looks like a messy bun, not particularly made, but rather not made any effort to fix the previous hairstyle. A dark colour jacket and flip flops. God! Who comes dressed like that in a park?I step forward and recognize her.

Mia.

What is she doing here? I call her out and she turns at the sound. I run, closing in the distance and catch up to her.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" I ask, heaving and unable to steady my breath.

"Hi, and nice to meet you too." She shifts in her place and looks up and down at me.

Is she assessing me? For what?

"Shall we sit?" she propped up her question with a sweet smile, gesturing towards the bench behind us with one hand.

"Sure."

I could really use that right now. Running almost half a mile is no joke.

"Going somewhere? So late?" she looked at me as she rubbed her hands against her thighs.

"Ah, yes. I was going to meet a friend of mine. And no, it's never late to meet him. What about you? What were you doing here?"

"I always come here. I like to take evening walks."

My eyes squint and nose scrunched up a bit. "Like, how the elder people take? That kind of walk?"

She laughs at my remark, her tone laced with amusement, "No, oh my God! Is that what you think? Jesus. Why did you say that?"

Her laugh. It's so pure. So genuine.

"Don't elderly people walk in mornings and evenings? I didn't know children also liked that." Well, that is a fact. No young person likes, or even has time for things like this. How can you take time out to just walk around randomly in a park when you could use that time to be more productive?

"No, it's not fixed to anyone. Whoever wants to, can. You just have to have the management skills to balance your work life and personal life perfectly. Also, your body needs some relaxation time, doesn't it, doctor?" She giggles softly and looks ahead as if not expecting an answer from me.

Well, I don't exactly know what to tell her without hurting her feelings. So, I guess I'll swallow my words for now. I don't know why, but there's this urge of breaking and getting her darkest parts out of her. That will take time, and I am a very patient man.

"I am not a doctor yet."

"You surely will be someday."

I glanced at her as she swings her legs slowly in air and enjoys the evening. She really doesn't know me, does she?

I look down at my feet at the thought of graduating and building a career on my own. All of this sounds and looks so sweet. I wish I could have any of that. She looks up and then at me, her eyes glowing suddenly, "Uh, I- I am really sorry about that day, you know. I didn't mean to run off like that. It was highly inappropriate. It's just- I am sorry."

So, she remembers. Because that was HIGHLY inappropriate. I mean, who runs off after they are asked out for a date?

"It's fine, really. I understand if you were uncomfortable then. I should have considered the fact that you were still new and were trying to adjust." I comfort her with a slight smile. That is all I can think of doing, noticing her descending into her panic mode.

"May I ask you something, if you don't mind?" I ask, searching my words carefully for my question.

"Sure. Go ahead."

She sighs, "As you said, I was new.

"And?" she's definitely hiding something.

"Nothing. I don't know you enough to go out with you. I don't do that."

"You don't know me?" my tone raises a bit as my eyes squint at her in confusion.

"Do I? You tell me, what have you told me really? All I know is your name."

I swing my head slowly ahead and chuckle softly, my voice low. "You're right. But isn't that the point of a date? Getting to know each other?"

She stares at me for several seconds. Her mouth opens to speak but then snaps it shut, "Fine, uh, how about next weekend?" She looks at me with a strange expression.

Is she hoping I'd turn the offer down?

Hell nah.

I have to break her walls down and see the darkness inside her, the one she has hid so well. I'll feel it, touch it, make it my companion, and then use it against her sweetness and warmth so that I could use her ahead, use her for a much greater cause, because that is what I do. I have to, I need to, even if I lose myself along the way.

My eyes widened has if surprised, not expecting her to agree so easily. I smiled, clearly pleased with her response.

"Next weekend sounds perfect. I'm free anytime."

I pause for a moment, then added, tone slightly teasing, "I'm surprised you didn't ask me if I had a girlfriend or something."

She looks at me and replies, "I am surprised you didn't ask me that either."I chuckled at her retort. She is feisty. I like that.

"Fair point. I didn't ask you because I don't see a reason why someone like you would be single."

"Oh look! We already think the same." She crossed her arms and looked at me.I chuckled again at her response. She is clever, I have to give her that.

"It seems we do," a smile tugging at the corner of my lips, "How fortunate for us."I studied her carefully, slightly enjoying this banter. But I know there is more beneath the surface. There is something about her, I can sense it. I just have to figure her out.