There And Back Again [Black Clover x BNHA]

Author's Note

Hello everyone. Zelinith here. I know it's been a while. A lot has happened since I last posted.

Graduated undergrad with my bachelor's and a minor in writing.

Started and graduated graduate school with a master's.

Moved back home.

Had a good friendship fall apart and wreck me.

Lost myself.

Became a regular at Barnes and Noble.

Began to learn to love to draw again.

Started my first true adult job.

Father diagnosed with cancer.

Began wanting to write again.

Learned the friends who truly love me.

Applied for new jobs.

Began investigation with HR into my current job.

Found a new normal at home with parents despite cancer.

Began pursuing artistic and writing aims.

Fell in love with reading again.

This is not everything, but this is almost everything. Summed for your ease in reading, but still the truth in order of how it went. And the funny thing?

Everything from the second one down is in the last year.

This is not to gain pity or empathy or anything along those lines. Just an explanation of where I have been and what I have been dealing with. When the world decides you're going to have your crisis, you have to face it head on even if you have no desire to do so.

I'm still learning and accepting and being happy with who I am, but being free from things that I now realize had chained me, I want to do things once again.

For me.

The girl who drew since she could hold a pencil.

The girl who wrote to make her dreams come true.

The girl who just wanted to see people smile.

This is likely not the post you all were hoping for and expecting, but it is a post I needed to make.

This story is still on pause, that is unfortunately not changing (and I do still hope to finish it one day). But what is changing is what I'm going to do moving forward for myself.

I had a dream. Silly I know. But I had a dream, and I want to make that dream something tangible. And I want to share the journey because for the first time in what feels like forever I want to do everything I love and see where it takes me.

I had a dream. What if the White Horse was found dead and its rider, Pestilence, missing?

I had a dream. What if Death and her siblings, War and Famine, had to embark on a journey that would shake them to the core?

I had a dream. What if someone's identity defined them, but if they realized it, they could redefine that definition into something that worked for them?

I had a dream. And for the first time in a long time I want to write and make this dream real.

I will one day post again here, as I still do want to write fanfiction here and there as it is fun to do so and cathartic at times. But for now, I would love to invite you all to embark on this little journey of mine if you so desire as I create a story for myself, and maybe one day for the world.

I do not know where it will take me, but I will follow it all the way until it ends and then beyond that point. Because unchained from things that I now realize held me back, I want to do things to make me happy.

And these little characters of mine do just that. And I want to show the process of how it all begins and goes. The mind is a funny place. I know. I studied it in college. And sometimes those maladaptive daydreams can become something tangible. And truthfully, what's the harm in trying?

Maybe I'll publish this all officially one day. Maybe I'll just have it to keep. But at the end of the day I can say I did it. Sharing it as I go is a way to prove to myself, and others who are scared like me, that you can do anything you want. Who cares what it ends up as.

If it makes you happy, then that's what matters.

Come along for the ride if you want, but as always, thank you for supporting me and encouraging me that I can write and do what I love. I will always be thankful for that.

Love, Zelinith. (or if you'd rather, Ash)

Where to keep up to date with my journey:

TikTok: Zelinith

Instagram: Zelinith