There And Back Again [Black Clover x BNHA]

Chapter Eighteen

Before I comment any further on anything, this chapter will explain more why I had Asta react as he did and then at the end I'll explain it some more in the note there. But I do appreciate all of your feedback very much. It helps me move forward and figure out how I want to do things.

I'll see you at the end notes! :)

For the majority of his life, he had been put down because of who he was. Being magicless in a world where magic meant everything was challenging at best. It was hard to be recognized by others when they couldn't rely on you for basic magic skills every normal person had.

Years of insults and belittling made Asta learn to build walls in his mind, ones that could withstand the words thrown his way. He learned how to ignore what others said and focus on his dreams instead. It took many years of practice, but he created strong barriers that became nearly impossible to break down.

Continuing on with life he went, protecting his siblings at the little church, finding comfort with them because they accepted him for who he was for the most part. Yuno still saw him as a rival which was all that mattered, being acknowledged by the strongest mage he had then known and not being cast aside as useless.

Joining the Black Bulls gave him a new family later on, one that didn't care he was magicless and loved being around him. They treated him as an equal, and for the first time in his life he truly felt at home. Asta had finally found a place where people looked at him for support and not with pity.

Now despite this all, he wasn't as happy as he appeared. The barriers he had built within his mind could only stand for so long without periods of rest, and in those moments his depression shone through. There was a lot within Asta that was dark and melancholy, still retaining hate for himself and doubt regardless of what his friends told him. Why else do you think he screamed "I'm not giving up" so much?

The demon within his grimoire wasn't completely helpful either, preying on this darkness within his mind occasionally. Although it had not done anything yet, Asta did not trust it to remain idle and passive for very long.

So why did Asta breakdown at Monoma's words, you ask?

Because he's been ripped away from the only family he knows and the only true home he's ever had, the walls he built up so carefully being struck down with insults he hasn't heard in so long from a foreign world he doesn't know.

The mask one wears can only stay on for so long before its cracks shatter into tiny pieces.

And so Asta sat on a chair next to Aizawa's desk, having been there for the past few minutes since Mirio delivered him and was then asked to step outside for a moment by the erasure hero, his face exposed for everyone to see. Staring at the ground, afraid to let Aizawa see any more, the mage tried to will his mask back into existence, wanting nothing more to do with everything that had happened today. Although his emotions were still a mess inside his head, he took deep breaths, centering himself once more. Aizawa watched as Asta went through this, silently pondering the boy in front of him.

When Nejire had come to him saying that Mirio was bringing a student to his office, he was not expecting it to be for this. By the look on the older teen's face when he brought in the younger, something had broken this strong mage for what seemed to be the first time in a while. And judging by the text that Mirio had just sent him, it was another student in the first year. Sighing, he straightened in his seat, gazing softly at the mage before him.

"Care to tell me what happened?" Asta glanced up at him before dropping his gaze, playing with the ends of his jacket.

"Nothing happened. I'm fine, see?" He gave Aizawa a big smile, but it was obviously forced and strained. Seeing the erasure hero give him a look, he sighed, dropping the smile. "I was stupid to react as I did because I'm used to those things being said to me but I wasn't prepared and I overreacted but I'm fine now so can I please leave?" It all rushed out in a go, reminding Aizawa of another problem child of his.