Dove (K. Jisoo x Fem Reader)

3

{Y/N pov} TW: mentions of abuse. Harsh language. Physical/Verbal abuse detailed.

The harsh sting hits my cheek, and my head turns to the other side. I back myself into my bedroom wall, letting out a shaky breath as I look at the tall figure before me. She's shouting. She's angry... in ways that I've seen time and time again.

"You... you stupid bitch!" She shouts. Her voice was harsh, and her words slurred. She raises her hand again, another hit. My body hurts. My entire body is throbbing, mainly my torso. She grabs a fist full of my hair, straight from my scalp. I cry out, trying to keep my voice quiet so my neighbors don't hear. She gets close to my face; her eyes are full of pure anger.

Her words hurt. "You're such a... fucking slut." She scoffs, pushing me into the ground. "Flirting with everyone, every time we go out to a bar...!"

I sniffle, pulling myself up, and sitting up on my knees. I look up at her. She turns around, her back to me, as she stumbles towards the balcony. She opens the sliding glass door, groaning as she steps outside. She pulls out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from the small table nearby. I stay silent, watching her walk outside with tears blurring my vision. I carefully bring myself to my feet. I slowly make my way to the bed. Our shared bed. I gulp quietly, my eyes flicking between my phone and her figure outside. With shaky hands, I unlock my phone. I desperately message the first person that comes up. K. J.

It's just her initials. I told Linn that she was my account manager or something along the lines of that. I don't know what to say. Nobody knows what Linn does except K. J. I'm so scared. I look up; Linn is still smoking, with her head down. If I don't leave, she'll come back in, and she'll either try to make up with me or she'll hit me until I pass out. I type out to "K. J."

"I'm leaving Linn. Meet me at the coffee shop near Chinatown, please."

There are a few mistakes and misspellings, but she knows what I mean. She knows because she read it a few minutes after I sent it. A simple, "I'll be there. Be safe."

I've got nothing but my phone and whatever was in my pockets. I don't need anything right now. She's done smoking. She turns around, enters the room, and spots me. We make eye contact for a few seconds before I make a run for it. My feet move before my brain does. I hurry out the door, running down the hall. I don't even know whether or not she's after me. But I don't stop, and I don't look back. Jennie will save me, like always. She's the only person I'm allowed to talk to. But tonight? I'll be able to be happy again. As I run out of the building, I sprint down the sidewalk. My body is hurting, but now is not the time to turn around or stop. I make it to the coffee shop, and I see Jennie's car. She's standing against the car, her arms crossed with worry written all over her face.

I let out a small cry of relief as I reach her, my arms instantly wrapping around her as I collapse against her. Linn isn't following me; if she was, then Jennie would've been much meaner. I sob into her shoulder as she holds me, telling me to hurry into the car.

I don't realize I'm zoned out, crying, until I feel tears dripping down my cheeks. I blink a few times, a strained breath escaping my lips as I quickly wipe my face. I look around, needing to ground myself in reality. In the present. I know where I am. I'm sitting in my office, in my home. I can see the paintings on my walls. I can see the cute bouquet that Jisoo left me before she left this morning. I see the pictures of you, of the girls, of her family, of our pets. I place a hand on my chest, rubbing my chest gently, attempting to soothe myself. I swallow dryly as I stand up. I'm working on some stupid paperwork for my boss. Being the only person in the company to take up his offer to complete multiple papers in just a week was a stupid idea. It's not going to raise my pay any; I guess I just wanted to be nice. He's old. I try to let my mind drift to happier and less painful memories. I'd rather not make this anxiety any worse.

I breathe in and out. In and out. In and out. In and out. In and out. I rub my chest, letting my brain relax a little bit. I think it's best if I just take a break. Jisoo isn't here; she's across the ocean right now. I can't bother her right now; she's busy, and she'll message me before she goes to bed. She hates when her schedule gets interrupted, and I know if I tell her my flashbacks and nightmares have been getting worse again... she'll be worried. She'll worry herself sick. I can't stand when she does that, not because it annoys me but because I don't want her to worry. It's a cycle of worrying for each other.

I save the work on my computer before turning it off. I slowly walk out of my office. While Jisoo is gone, I'll be watching Dalgom. He's a very calm dog. He loves me, unlike some people. I think he knows I'm also calm. I make my way through my house, plopping down on the couch. I lean backward, sighing deeply. I close my eyes tightly.

"Fuck..."

I mumble. I hear little paws hitting the ground. I open my eyes to see the freshly groomed dog making his way over to me. He hops onto the couch next to me, curling on my lap. He's sleepy. I chuckle lightly, caressing his head.

"You're worse than your mother. Always clinging to me or biting my fingers. Well, she doesn't bite my fingers, but she bites me whenever I bother her on her  period." I pause, cutting myself off before shaking my head. "I'm talking to a dog who is asleep."

I lean my head back again, my hand mindlessly playing with his fur. I'm already missing Jisoo. She keeps me stable, as embarrassing as it is. She keeps my feet on the ground. She keeps me from hurting myself or... worse. I don't even care much about myself, but she gives me the strength to get up in the morning and eat. That's why she messages me before we sleep and as soon as I wake up, whenever she's away. I'll wait for her text before going to bed, so she doesn't worry and makes Rosé come over to check up on me.

She would do that.

She has done that.

I'm exhausted. I don't think this pain will ever go away, this anxiety. I'll live with it. I've accepted that I'll forever be afraid of my past and my future. I'm just glad that I have good people around me now.