Battling Hearts and High Scores: A Teenage RomCom

Battling Plans and Personas

I stare at the pile of glossy envelopes scattered across my desk, each one boasting a different city, a different magazine, a different version of my future I never asked for. Every time my mother dropped another opportunity in front of me, I felt the walls around me closing in a little more, making me even more claustrophobic than I already was. Modeling had always been my mother's dream, not mine. But saying that out loud? Impossible. I know there are people out there who probably wouldn't understand—why would a pretty girl like me waste her looks? But what if you had to pursue something you didn't like? And what if you failed at it, too? You wouldn't even be happy with yourself.

I could already hear my mother's disappointed sigh, see the soft smile that never quite reached her eyes whenever I brought up anything outside of modeling. Wanting to go to an Ivy League college instead of a community college near home, or—God forbid—gaming? None of those were ever real options.

With a huff, I push the stack aside, letting the envelopes fall to the floor. A small voice in the back of my mind reminded me I'd have to pick them up later, but right now, I didn't care. My real dreams were buried under layers of silk, makeup contracts, and photo shoots, and I wasn't sure how much longer I could keep pretending to be excited about them. Graduation was looming, and I still hadn't figured out how to break the news that modeling wasn't part of my future. The thought of disappointing both my mother and father gnawed at me.

Something else that gnawed at me, however, was the fact that I'd filled out a few college applications. All to Ivy League schools. Harvard was—or is, I don't even know anymore—my number one pick. It's been my dream for a while. My parents have tons of money, and by being involved in school and being the top student—albeit tied with Sage—I've earned scholarships. I won't know for sure until I get a response back from any of the Ivy League colleges, but hiding the fact that I applied is terrifying. My parents would think I'm going behind their backs. And I definitely don't want them to think that of me.

A soft ping interrupts my spiraling thoughts, pulling my eyes to the computer screen. LordofLoot has invited you to a game. I spring up in my seat and click on the notification, my stomach flipping. Before I know it, my headset was on. My team—my real team, the one I was going to lead to victory—was already online, bantering and strategizing in the pre-game lobby. LoverB0yyy's laughter filled the channel, something about ME0WZZZ526's character glitching out during our last raid. A small smile tugged at my lips.

"See, even QueenBeeofChaos finds this funny!" LoverB0yyy's voice rings out through my headset.

"She's probably laughing at both of us—actually, all of us," ME0WZZZ526 adds in a deadpan tone.
"I didn't do anything. I'm the normal one here," LordofLoot chimes in.

His comment took me back to the day he invited me into his group. He seemed practically in awe of me, especially when I accepted his invitation to complete the story mission with him and his crew in Steel Reckoning III. It was like I was some famous celebrity signing an autograph. The banter these three shared made it seem like they'd either known each other for years or played together forever. I was kind of jealous. It was the exact kind of gaming community I'd always wanted.

"Actually..." I speak up when LordofLoot and ME0WZZZ526 start bickering again. "You are kinda weird. The reaction the other day was a little over the top, if you ask me."

LordofLoot gasps like I'd just physically struck him. "But I—I," he stammers before continuing. "You're much more humble than I thought you'd be. You're a legend in the gaming community right now. Don't you know that?"

His words hit me in a way I didn't expect, making my heart skip a beat. I'd never heard someone actually compliment my gaming skills out loud before. Sure, I'd seen it in chats and online comments, but to hear someone say it directly to me? It was a warm, indescribable feeling.