I watch her from a distance, my eyes lingering on her as she moves with purpose and grace. She's always been a captivating presence, but over the past few months, may nagbago sa akin. What started as a game, an unintended marriage has turned into something I never anticipated. And as I continue to observe Z in silence, I find myself drawn deeper into her world, fascinated by her resilience, her spirit, her every little quirk.
Today is no different. Nasa conference room ako, sitting at the back, half-hidden behind some team members. It’s a big meeting, the entire creative team is gathered to discuss the upcoming project timeline. Nasa harapan si Z, confidently presenting her vision for the next quarter. Her voice is firm but warm, her enthusiasm infectious. Hindi ko maiwasang humanga sa kanya mula sa aking pwesto.
She doesn't know I'm here, and I've been careful to keep it that way. I’m supposed to be attending another meeting, but I couldn't resist slipping away to catch a glimpse of her in presentation. It’s become a habit of mine, this quiet observation. Watching her navigate her world with such passion and dedication has become something I look forward to. There's a thrill in seeing her thrive, especially knowing the challenges she's faced.
"Next slide, please." Her voice cuts through my thoughts, bringing me back to the present. Nakatuon ang kanyang tingin, at may kumpiyansa ang tindig. She’s a natural leader, and everyone in the room can feel it. The team hangs on her every word, nodding in agreement, taking notes, and occasionally stealing glances at each other with shared excitement.
Tahimik akong nanonood, ang mukha ko'y parang walang emosyon, pero sa loob ko'y nakaramdam ako ng paghanga. Isang halo ng pride at kung ano pang mas malalim na hindi ko pa maipaliwanag ngayon.
As the meeting progresses, Z moves around the room, engaging her team members with questions, inviting them to share their thoughts. The room hums with energy, and she’s at the center of it all, orchestrating the flow of ideas with ease.
I notice how she listens, truly listens to everyone. She has this way of making people feel heard and valued, and it’s no wonder the team respects her. May kakaiba siyang magnetismo.
I lean back, crossing my arms as I continue to watch. Little does she know how much I’ve come to appreciate these moments, how much I've come to see her not just as a stranger I married on a whim, but as someone remarkable in her own right. I admire her in silence, acknowledge her in silence. At unti-unti namamalayan ko na nagugustuhan ko na rin siya, in silence.
The meeting wraps up with applause, and Z’s face breaks into a radiant smile. She thanks her team for their hard work, her voice filled with genuine appreciation. As the group begins to disperse, she stays back, gathering her notes and talking to a few stragglers.
I take this moment to slip out quietly. She doesn't notice, of course. To her, my presence here would just be another coincidence, another moment that she wouldn’t think twice about. She’s never really caught on to how often I’m around, how often I maneuver my schedule just to cross paths with her, to witness her shine.
I head back to my office, where I can watch the corridor leading to her department from the large glass windows. She’s there again, speaking animatedly with one of her colleagues. I notice how she laughs, her head tilting back slightly, her eyes bright with amusement. It’s a small thing, but it’s moments like these that have slowly begun to unravel me.
And yet, I know she remains blissfully unaware. To her, all these moments are mere coincidences. Ang lahat ng mga maliliit na bagay na ginawa ko para sa kanya, whether it’s arranging for her to get the best projects, ensuring her team gets the support they need, or discreetly making sure her work is noticed by the right people, she never suspects a thing. She simply thinks it’s luck or good timing. Her innocence is both endearing and frustrating. She doesn’t see how much I’ve come to care, how deeply I’ve come to admire her.
I watch as she says her goodbyes and heads back to her office, her steps light, a subtle bounce in her gait. Hindi ko mapigilang ngumiti, nararamdaman ang kakaibang init na kumakalat sa loob ko.
That evening, I find myself in the kitchen again, preparing tea. It’s become somewhat of a ritual, this quiet time at the end of the day. I hear her footsteps approaching, and sure enough, she appears moments later, still buzzing with the energy of the day.
“Zeeb.” She greets me casually, reaching for a glass of water. “You wouldn’t believe how well today’s meeting went. The team is really starting to come together.”
I nod, playing along, my face calm and composed. “I’m glad to hear that. Sounds like you’ve found your stride.”
She smiles, unaware of the effect that simple gesture has on me. “It feels good. Parang lahat ng hard work ay nagbubunga.”
“That's great.” I reply softly, handing her my cup of tea, hoping she'll accept it. “You deserve it.”
She takes the cup which made me smile even more. Our fingers brushing ever so slightly as she accepts the cup. She doesn’t notice, but I do. My heart skips a beat, a subtle reaction that I quickly mask. She takes a sip, her face relaxing as the warmth of the tea spreads through her.
“You know, for someone like you who is sure that she wants this job, you’re doing pretty well.” I add, trying to keep my tone light.
She chuckles, nodding. “Sino nga bang mag aakala? But I guess things have a funny way of working out.”
I simply smile, hiding the myriad of emotions swirling inside me. She sees it as a chance, as a stroke of fate. But for me, every moment with her is deliberate, every step carefully considered.
As the evening drifts on, I find myself staring at her profile and started to read her proposal about her plans for the next project in my office. She’s so animated, so alive. And for the first time in a long while, I wonder what it would be like to tell her, to let her know what I’ve come to feel. But for now, I'll stay silent, content to admire her from afar, to cherish these quiet moments that are ours alone.
Perhaps someday, I’ll find the courage to say it out loud. Pero sa ngayon, sapat na ang humanga sa kanya in a silence.
To be continued...
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