mostly smut, some of them are quite kinky-ish, just check the individual chapter warnings. the first ones are probably bad, they're older.
more on my Tumblr @goblinontour
warnings: angst, death (implied suicide), grief, flashbacks
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He could never forget that night. It was etched into his memory, like a scar that hadn't healed right, always pulling at the edges of his thoughts, aching when he least expected it. It felt like the beginning of the end. Your end.
You were sitting across from him on the couch, the same one where you'd spent so many nights curled up together. But tonight, the distance between you felt different. You were close enough to touch, but he could feel something pulling away, something slipping out of his grasp. He hated how aware of it he was, like the air between you had become too thick to breathe.
He watched you as you stared at the floor, your eyes tracing some invisible line in the carpet, avoiding his gaze. You were quiet. Too quiet. And even though you hadn't said it yet, he knew. He could feel it in his bones, in the heaviness of the silence.
You were leaving.
The words hung between you, unspoken but so loud they drowned out everything else. He should've said something then, anything to stop it from happening. To pull you back. To remind you of the way things had been before whatever had come between you. But he couldn't find the words. Instead, he just sat there, feeling the tension coil tighter, his mind screaming at him to reach out.
But he didn't. He just watched you, watched as you pulled further away even while you stayed in the same room. He hated himself for that. The way he let the moment slip by. How could he have let you go like that without fighting for you?
You finally spoke, your voice quiet but sharp. "I don't know how much longer I can do this."
He flinched at the words, like you had just struck him. His throat tightened, and for a second, he couldn't even breathe. But still, he didn't say anything. The regret was already forming in his chest, the weight of it sinking deeper with every second of silence that passed. You were waiting for him to respond, waiting for him to give you something that would make you stay, but he just sat there, frozen in his own fear and confusion.
"Talk to me." you said, your voice breaking a little as you finally looked at him. Your eyes were pleading, desperate for something he wasn't giving you. "Please, just talk to me."
He'd tried to talk to you so many times before, countless times when you had stood in front of him just like this, eyes wide, full of pain, pleading for something he never seemed able to give. He had tried. God, how he'd tried. But every time, the words had come out wrong. They'd twisted in the air between you, losing their meaning as soon as they left his mouth. No matter how much he explained, how much he opened up, it never felt like it was enough. You needed something more, something deeper, something he didn't know how to give.
And now, standing there in that moment, he couldn't find the words anymore. He had exhausted them all, worn out every way he knew how to say "I love you. I'm here. Please, just stay." He had twisted and rearranged them so many times, trying to make them sound new, trying to say them in a way that might finally reach you. But none of them had worked, and now there were none left. He felt empty, drained of anything meaningful to offer, his voice caught somewhere deep in his chest, locked away with everything else that had gone unsaid.
