Day 4: Her Smile
You’ll probably think I‘m crazy but I’d rather see her smile first than know her name. I’ve seen her a lot of times now, it’s been three days that I try to notice everything about her but I haven’t seen her smile since.
I wonder how she looks like when she smiles.
It’s Monday but I didn’t see her ride the train, I waited for her until I am about 5 minutes late for my first subject but she didn't come. I wonder why. Did she arrive here early and took the earlier train? Did I arrive here late? Or has she noticed that I’m always there wherever she is that she’s trying to avoid me? I hoped against all hope that it isn’t the latter.
The train ride to school has been the longest train ride I’ve ever been in ever since I met her. And I wonder how time can slip so fast when I’m with her and how it can slow whenever she’s not here. I look at the vacant seat where she usually sits. It was as if it’s made only for her.
I imagined her long black hair with brown highlights, how it flows gently down her face. I imagined the detail of her face, her big and round eyes the deepest brown I’ve ever laid eyes on. Her perfectly shaped nose and her thin lips. How can one look as if she were perfectly molded by an artist?
I decided to take the long route to my classroom, the route where I can pass her classroom but like the seat on the train her chair (fourth row besides the window) is empty as well.
Seeing those two empty spaces where I usually see her made me feel uneasy. Why isn’t she here? Where is she? I waited for four long hours till lunch period but she still isn’t there. I let Kyle have the strawberries, telling him that some girl gave it to me not admitting that it is the other way around.
I just don’t get how I can not tell my best friend about her. Maybe if I did, he’ll even help me to know her name. But I have been a coward. I never once admitted to Kyle that I like, as in LIKE, someone. Probably because I only dated those who showed their interest on me first.
Not seeing her open her locker feels like something is missing from my everyday routine. Not having to secretly place the strawberries in front of her locker feels like a big part of me has gone some place far and I can only have it back when I see her.
Aiden! I slapped myself mentally. She is just a girl. No more, no less. You just find her pretty. You just find her interesting. You just find her unbelievable beyond words. But that doesn’t mean that you won’t have a life when she’s not around. Get a grip, Aiden! Find a life! Or at least restore your old one.
I can hear my brain screaming those words while my heart tells otherwise. I had this urge of screaming just to make them stop but if I did students will have to put me on a straightjacket afterwards.
“Where is she?”
“Who?”
All of a sudden Kyle appear in front of me his face just a few inches from mine.
“The F Dude!”
He laughed, “If you continue acting like that Wayland I’ll suspect you’re already falling for someone. And falling hard man.”
I ignored him and then started walking.
“You know I ain’t your best friend for nothing.”
I've been through this conversation with Kyle Fritzburg and believe me when I tell you that it isn't easy to think of a brilliant solution to duck your way out of his inquisitive eyes.
“Spill Wayland.”
“Oh look Samantha Reese is waving at you!”
His neck reflexes are as fast as lightning and I ran as fast as I could. When he turned around he yelled, “You’re not going to get away with this Wayland. I’ll bust you!”
I know he will. But I hope it won’t be soon. The bell rang signaling us to go straight to our next class, but I’m not feeling on sitting in Chemistry class for an hour and a half so I decided to skip.
I went straight to the music room not knowing why on earth would I go there. It is my first time that I entered the room empty. Rows and rows of seats are arranged as uniformly where rows are elevated at the back. The grand piano is situated near the center of the stage and some musical instruments just lay around the stage as if waiting to be played.
The long walk to the stage was surprisingly long, thinking that it seems like it is only any other room in our class. When I reached the stage I grabbed the violin and played the song I’ve been practicing since last night.
And then I remember her, her face as crystal clear as I’d ever imagined. Her long hair that smelled of strawberries. She is standing there by the door, smiling. Her face just lit up when I started playing. She seemed real, I can even smell her. How can she look so perfect even in my imagination?
And then she moved, I stopped playing and she’s still there. Her smile beginning to fade.
“I didn't know you can play violin Aiden Wayland.”
And before I can even digest her presence, before I can even ask her name, before I can even say thank you. She left with the door swinging ajar letting me know that it isn’t just my imagination playing tricks on me.
She's been there...
and the best part....
She knows my name.
