𝐀 𝐆𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐓𝐨 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 | 𝐇𝐒𝐑 | 𝐉𝐢𝐚𝐨𝐪𝐢𝐮

3 ~ Do you ever regret?

The sun shined brightly, the warm breeze surrounding the Xianzhou Yaoqing. Flowers bloom all around, and the tranquil water reflects and sparkles. This was the epitome of a perfect day, even a perfect time to drink tea together outside.

We picked a tea house not far from his home. It was a famous place for having fresh pastries everyday, and the tea was made purely from herbs. We decided to settle down the tables provided outside.

I watched Jiaoqiu drink his tea, sipping the cup from time to time. The wind blew his hair and so did mine in a gentle manner, the umbrella attached onto the table covering us from the sun's heat. The scene was peaceful.

I raised my tea cup and took a sip for a moment before placing it down the tea saucer with a clank. For the past few weeks I've been teaching him the steps to certain places around his home, and the location of his items to make it easier to find.

Although... I've been noticing that he's been smiling at me often. Sometimes he'd call out to me and give the most random excuses just so I could be close to him. One time he just wanted someone to fluff his pillow.

"Y/N."

My head turned to look at him, the thought bubbles around my head popping in an instant. There I find him smiling softly and warmly at me.

"You're oddly quiet, is there something troubling you?" He asked, tilting his head with ears perked up.

"No, no there's nothing bothering me. Thanks for asking." I stammered, chuckling sillily.

I paused, diverting my gaze away from him, thinking what else I should say...

It was a bit awkward.

"How are the flowers today?" Jiaoqiu queried, taking a sip from his tea cup.

His question got to me, so I looked around the place... the flowers are blooming beautifully today.

"They're blooming..." I replied to him.

He placed his now empty tea cup down, using his fan to cover his chuckling face. Jiaoqiu then puts the fan down, crossing his arms on the table, propping his weight there and leaning forward.

"Blooming is such an overrated word, at least try to explain what the flowers look like surrounding us." He soothed, his voice was calm and gentle.

I observed his facial expression, noticing a subtle blush on his cheek. I felt my heart raise, my tail wagging as I tried to stay calm and collected by looking at the flowers around us.

"There are multiple peony flowers surrounding the fence of the tea house. The petals are lush and ruffled, combined with the rich fragrance. The blooms, layered in soft pinks, deep reds, or creamy whites, unfolding like silken whispers in the breeze." I explained, turning my gaze back to him just to find him still facing my way with a smile, he was listening to everything I said.

My cheeks burnt, I could feel it that it wasn't from the sun- Was he even listening to a word I said? Or was he just facing me? I don't know what's on his mind. He's like a book with deep meanings you have to decipher.

"I could imagine the beauty of it already." Jiaoqiu teased, then leaned back to his chair.

I watched his movements, the silence beckoning us to keep talking, but alas neither of us spoke... I stole a couple of glances at him, he was silent, facing me... I can't really tell what he's thinking, he was just giving me that soft smile and a tail wagging.

"Jiaoqiu, Y/N, I've been looking all over for you two."

A familiar voice... It was my sister's voice, Feixiao. I turned my body around, watching her running towards us with a lively personality, there was never a day she won't lose energy. She's like some sort of bird that flies so fast, you wouldn't even know she's there the moment you blink.

"Sister, what brings you here?" I greeted her with a smile and a wave of my hand.

When Feixiao finally got to us, she didn't even pant or show any signs of exhaustion. "I was just checking up on you two, considering it's been almost a few weeks now you've been guiding Jiaoqiu." She chuckled, turning her head to look at Jiaoqiu.

"How are you holding up, Jiaoqiu?" Feixiao asked, her voice full of worry for his condition.

"I'm alright, General Feixiao, Y/N here has been a sweetheart having patience taking care of me." Jiaoqiu replied with a teasing tone, emphasizing the word sweetheart.

I froze hearing his reply, he could've chosen a different word but he went with that. I tried to be subtle knowing my sister is quite the hawk.

"I'm glad you two are getting along... I'm still searching for a healer to fix your sight, besides that I still have a few things I need to take care of..." Feixiao sighed, then she reached out to ruffle my hair.

I groaned and pushed her hand away, "Whatever you're supposed to do, do them already!" I whined, staring at her with a pout on my face. Even Jiaoqiu was laughing at me softly.

"Alright alright, no need to be so fussed up." She chuckled at me teasingly, "Take care alright? I'll make sure to check up on you two from time to time." She pats my head this time before leaving me and Jiaoqiu alone again outside the tea house.

I followed her figure as it got smaller, then my sight went back to Jiaoqiu.

"How's your sister doing?" Jiaoqiu asked, crossing his arms over his chest. "Considering I haven't done much to find a way to heal her moon rage because of my current condition."

I sighed, propping my elbow on the table with my chin on the palm of my hand. "To be honest, I think she got worse when she swallowed that Crimson moon... She's been having these chest pains frequently." I explained, my eyes observing him.

"I see..." He mumbled quietly, and he looked disappointed.

After that we were silent again, it was deafening, but not so much. There were people chattering and birds chirping, it's the awkwardness that was dreadful.

I took a deep sigh, placing my arms on the table in a relaxed manner. I watched his face contort in frustration once again, seeing his hands clenched onto his upper arms.

"Jiaoqiu, can I ask you a question?" I looked down at the tea cup before me, then back to his face.

"By all means, go ahead." He spoke softly this time, but I can see he was holding some emotions in.

I hesitated for a while, debating if I should or shouldn't ask... but perhaps it was a way for him to let go.

"Do you ever regret it?" I spoke with genuine concern.

"Regret it? What will I regret?" He questioned, tilting his head in curiosity, ears perked.

"Well... do you ever regret drinking the tumbleweed poison? Losing your abilities to see?" I questioned back.

For a moment, he went silent. I watched those hands unclench his upper arms. He hummed, then smiled.

"I don't regret anything I did, the sole purpose was to weaken Hoolay and make it easier for the others to defeat him. As a healer, all I do is mend the people and soldiers, then watch them run back into the chaos; the cycle repeats. What was the purpose of my healing if they'd run back to the battlefield? Drinking that poison was my only way to help them, even if it cost me to lose something of myself. Healing is temporary, losing is permanent."

His words were sharp and direct, it was enough to make me realize a few things about him. This must be the reason he felt like a burden, he couldn't do anything to stop someone from entering that chaos, because he is the one who brings them back.

I went silent, being careful with what I have to say next. He's vulnerable at this point.

"Don't have to say anything, I know it's a lot to take in..." Jiaoqiu reassured me, giving me a soft smile.

"You're quite unpredictable, Jiaoqiu, even Hoolay didn't expect you'd take risks as a Foxian..." I tried to lighten up the mood by giving a subtle laugh.

"Oh? Then I guess you should be careful around me then." Jiaoqiu warned me playfully, his tail wagging from side to side as he smirked.

"This man..."