a sick sweet churns in my stomach
and holds my sweaty palms
as the old tv spits its warm glow
onto the linoleum floor,
the curtains are fluttering
and kissing the peeling wallpaper
as laughter spills from the cycling channels.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i hold my hands in prayer
as i sit on my bruised knees
in my stained socks with holes
mottled in the weak seams of my shirt
as i watch the clock come alive.
it sings its unforgettable harmonies
that break the silence
of a violet night
that breathes with the desperation
of a hundred voices.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i pray for something holy,
for something divine to hold my
stomach in its hands
and whisper of a future
that i won't be in.
i ask that they unravel my organs
and place them back in a different order
for me to feel born anew
despite the sour taste of blood left on my lips.
but this is not a clarion.
i merely ask to exist
to not exist
as the heartbeat of my home
holds my face in its hands
and lulls me to sleep.
it whispers and stares as I try in desperation
to cover my ears
to the sounds of creaking floorboards
and the incessant hum of fans in deep summer.
but my ears are no better than theirs,
and the sound seeps in—
bringing with it a reminder
that I am no better than I was when I was younger, and
I am no better than I will be tomorrow.
the yellowing linoleum floor
leaves that reminder there indefinitely—
leaving me to stare at the stains
I painted into its surface.
thats why I pray to someone; something—
so I don't have to look down
at the mistakes I madeー
at my bloodied knees
and crooked socks
through the tears of a thousand unanswered prayers.
YOU ARE READING
my poetry
Poetrythis is a collection of my poetry over the span of a few months. My newer works are better than the initial ones imo ‼️ I hope you enjoy it!! if you have any feedback, let me know.
