Shadow Whispers | Poetry

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ 13. yours to reign

you give a purpose to my life
just to make it meaningless
i think i am gonna be your wife
but i end up being sleepless

i love you like no other
your love makes me feel alive
i want to be your children's mother
now i'm back to trying to survive

i could never feel like that
for any soul again
there's always gonna be a cut
one open wound or ten

your touch is the only stich
your love the last saving cure
another's hand will forever itch
even though yours was never pure

i want you gone from my head
but you're the only thing on it
i wish my thoughts of you went dead
or at least my brain i could hit

everyone else after you
just isn't the same
i wish you could see from my view
and not read this with shame

i try, i try, i try
to get you off my mind
i cry, i cry, i cry
i can't do it, nevermind

i lie, i lie, i lie
to everyone that i've moved on
i lie, lie, i lie
to myself, so i can go on

you make my soul bleed
its blood you use to paint
with lies me you feed
and i still think you're a saint

i still think it's unfair
but it doesn't really matter
there's still much i can bare
my heart you can continue to shatter

i'd let you step on it with force
dry it from the dripping blood
i'd never ask for a divorce
no matter what pain you add

i'll run back in a heartbeat
just to hold you in my hands
my blind thoughts my brain i'll let eat
just for the faded sound of your chants

'please take me back' i scream
with tears in my soul, voices in my brain
i cry when you visit me in my dream
with nails in my heart, i am yours to reign

what you think of me
is my only concern
i am who you want me to be
your validation i yearn

i can only blindly hope for us
even though i know we can't happen
like when an unfulfilled angel wish to make i rush
while knowing, i still sadden

i wish i could hate you
as much as i hate myself
and as much as i love you
i wish i could love myself