𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬. | conan gray

𝟏𝟕. | dinner

conan and i are sitting on the couch at my place, laughing about that time we completely messed up making brownies.

"we just straight-up forgot to take them out of the oven," conan says, laughing so hard he almost doubles over. his laugh is infectious, and soon i'm laughing just as hard. i love his laugh—how it's so loud and unfiltered, how it makes everything feel lighter.

"okay, but to be fair, you were the one in charge of setting the timer," i tease, nudging him. "so, the blame's totally on you that we ended up with charcoal instead of brownies."

"oh, come on!" he grins, shaking his head. "you distracted me!"

"sure, blame me for your mistakes."

we keep teasing each other, going back and forth until conan says, "the brownies were a disaster, but the memory's priceless."

the laughter fizzles out of me at the word memory. suddenly, my mind drifts back to that night at charlie's a few days ago, how i couldn't stop thinking about his song.

and... how i imagined holding him instead of el.

"oh, by the way," he pulls me out of my thoughts, "i'm planning an album listening party at my place soon. well, not really a party... but i want you to come. ashley's gonna be there, and i have another friend i'm excited for you to meet."

my face lights up. "oh my god, i haven't seen ashley in forever!" ashley's been conan's best friend for, like, ages. the three of us have hung out a few times, and i adore her. she's so warm—and way too funny—and i always love being around her. ashley and conan together? unstoppable. you can just tell they know each other inside and out.

"wait, so your album's done?" i ask.

"almost," conan says. "there are still some small touches to work on, but i finally wanted to show someone. well, ashley's basically heard the whole thing already, but she said she'll pretend she didn't know i was working on an album."

i grin. "i'm so excited to hear what you've been working on. i know it's gonna be amazing."

he smiles shyly and looks down at his fingers.

i follow his gaze, my heart racing a little. then, i finally ask the thing that's been eating at me. "hey..." i say, my voice quieter now, "can i ask you something?"

conan looks at me, eyes widening like he's bracing for impact. "i'd prefer if you don't. these kinds of conversations never end well."

i chuckle and shake my head. "no, it's nothing bad. i was just wondering... could we talk about your song 'memories'? and, you know... the music video."

his expression shifts, a flicker of nervousness passing over his face as he adjusts in his seat. "uhm, yeah. sure."

i fiddle with my fingers, trying to ease into it. "well... it's kind of obvious that the song is about me, right? like, the sweater and the polaroid?"

"yeah..." he sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. "it is about you. i can't really deny that."

i nod slowly, feeling a strange mix of emotions. "and... i don't know, the lyrics don't exactly scream 'best friends,' you know? or am i reading too much into it?"

conan shrugs lightly, his tone forced casual. "i mean, you know me. i like to be overdramatic in my songs."

i smile a little at that. "fair point. but yeah, no, i was just curious. especially that one line, where you say 'i can't be your friend, can't be your lover'—"

i cut myself off mid-sentence as i hear the unmistakable sound of keys in the lock. a second later, el steps through the door.

"hey, i'm back," she calls out, her eyes glued to her phone.