Connection

Chapter 15

Kelly's P.O.V

Ashton pulled my out of his chest to see I was pulling a grumpy face. All he did was giggle at me a gave me a little kiss on my forehead "sorry babe, you'll get over it" he chuckled under his breathe. "Yeah I'll get over it, just how am I supposed to hide it, idiot" I replied with a firm tone.
"Babe."
"Kelly" I corrected.
"Kelly, your just over thinking it. Seriously don't worry about it" Ashton giggled grabbing my hand dragging me to the bedroom. "Come on" he nudged. We didn't move until Ashton ran like a little school girl then leaping into the bed. I let out a large sigh as I slowly stopped myself to the bedroom. "You know your lucky I love you" I giggle, cuddling him. "Am I, am I really" he sarcastically answered, "oh okay then, no your not" I respond letting go of him sitting up in a straight position, "no no no babe" he winged tugging on my arm "I'm lucky you love me and I love you to, more cuddles please" he begged. My grumpy face slowly dropped as a cheeky grin appeared up on my face, I turn to Ashton as quick as I can latching onto his body.

-

We laid in bed watching 'How To Train Your Dragon' cuddling, admiring each other's warmth. When I'm with Ashton I just forget about everything, and i mean everything. I curl myself up on his chest turning my head to the corner of the room to see my jumper was on the floor. "Shit" i mumbled. "What's shit?" Ashton questioned with a confused face.
"Uhh nothing, don't worry about it" i reply. I look down at my wrists with worry, trying to escape the blankets. I feel bad hiding this from Ashton but I don't wanna ruin our relationship with each other. "Hey babe you look a little red, are you hot or something?" Ashton asked sitting up. This gave me an idea.
"Yeah its really hot can you get me a drink please" I requested.
"Sure thing gorgeous" he says kissing me on the forehead. As soon as i saw that door slam shut i race over to my jumper bending over to pick it up. The door sudden swung open "What drink do you-" Ashton's face dropped as he stared at my wrists. I collapse to the ground bursting in tears, Ashton ran over and saw what he always feared. "Im so, so, so, so sorr-rr-ry Ashton" my voice hitched, as i curl up into a ball. I saw the sad expression on his face before i tucked my face away in shame. Ashton threw his arms around me "Kelly why" he sobbed. A tear hit my neck, dripping down my back. Is Ashton crying? Fuck hopefully this doesn't ruin everything we have.

-

Ashton stood up lifting me up with him. He pulled me into a hug, "Kelly" he muttered.
"Yeah" i sighed, closing my eyes and bringing myself closer into his arms.
"W-why did you do it" he slowly let go, taking a seat on the bed. I let out a sigh picking up the jumper.
"Just lately I have been feeling like the biggest waste of space, a mistake, worthless. Like look at me and Luke, we arent together because of me. I messed that up big time and -"
"But at least you two are still friends, so you probably didnt mess it up as much as you thought" Ashton comforted.
"Yeah but im pretty sure he is gonna think about me differently and i dont want him to" I reply letting out a few tears. "What, why?" Ashton asked.
"It doesnt matter ashton" i grunted, wiping away my tears looking the opposite way.
"Kelly, look at me please" he sobbed.
"Ashton i just cant do this anymore" i replied letting more tears fall.
"Yes you can and I am here ever step of the way, im am madly in love with you and i will always help you through whatever and im not gonna leave you no matter what, even if in the future we arent together anymore, i am always gonna be here for you just please dont do that to yourself you are worth so much more, you deserve so much better your a princess, my princess and i hate seeing you like this" Ashton says letting out a waterfall of tears.
"Ill try, im really sorry but its not that easy just to stop but i promise ill try my hardest just for you and ill message you or call you when i feel like doing it so then at least you can talk me out of it, but im so sorry for not telling you and just remember i love you just as much as you love me and im sorry if this hurt you" i say as i close my eyes and pull on my hair a little bit.
"Its okay, and that sounds like a deal just i beg you to try your absolute hardest to stop and im always here when you need" Ashton responds signalling for a hug. He pulls me in close to his chest i could hear his heart beating like crazy as he squeezes me tighter. "I don't want to let go of you incase you go and do it again" Ashton said worried releasing me from the hug but still holding onto my arms. "I wont i promised baby" I answer brushing my hand against my cheeks to wipe away the tears.
"I love you" He replies pressing a kiss to my forehead.
"I love you to ashton."