No Control

Mentality

   Everyone, at one point in life, had someone else dictate their decision or life choices. Those choices may very much have an impact on your mental health, whether you know it or not. In this chapter, you'll understand how badly these choices impacted the mentality of this teenage boy named Jay. Throughout his childhood up to his teen years, choices were made for Jay. Whether he liked them or not, he had no choice but to abide by them. At the age of twelve, Jay was starting to become more aware of life's games and trickery than his fellow classmates or people around his age. Though he was struggling before his teen years, the realization hit him once he reached the age thirteen.
   Jay had adapted to having the mind of a young adult once he reached his teen years. True enough, he still had much to learn, but Jay was intelligent enough to grasp the situation he was in. Growing up in a small town in the south, Jay understood there wasn't much in his hometown. This meaning, poverty was amongst many in his community. Fortunately for Jay, his parents did everything they could to make sure he had a safe, stable, and loving home for him, even though they struggled from time to time.
   At thirteen, Jay fully understood that people are manipulative and more ruthless than he initially thought. Jay was usually the type to avoid trouble, and from birth, he was overly kind. Everyone he encountered, Jay always greeted them and treated them with the utmost respect. Little did he know that all the kindness led to his ultimate demise. Though his parents taught him what's right and what's wrong and to always be nice to others, Jay knew his kindness was being taken for granted and felt like a fool being manipulated. He had kept the act of kindness up for so long that it was almost impossible for him to break free of that habit. It had gotten so bad to the point that it was nearly impossible for him to say no to anything anyone asked of him, whether he wanted to do it or not.
   From this perspective, we would most likely blame the victim for not changing his ways. We would say to ourselves it's his fault because he could have just said no, he could have spoken up and stopped being scared of confrontation. In most cases, yes, this is true, but we must look at it from all perspectives. Did he choose to become this way, or was it forced into his nature? It's imperative that we do what Jay did. We need to see life for what it really is, and stop being so oblivious to what's really going on around us. Jay was thirteen when he really understood how cunning and devastating life could be. If we were to open our eyes and truly understand that life isn't going to be fair, we could prepare for what's to come or stay two steps ahead. The better you understand that life isn't going to give you a pass, the better you develop a new perspective on the world.
   Jay's parents were strict and made sure he was on the right path to a successful future. He was taught and disciplined to follow directions, respect others, be kind, all the normal aspects into becoming a successful respectable individual. Those lessons were followed until it started to get out of control. See, those lessons were constantly brought to his attention, so much to the point where he misinterpreted them. The lessons taught to him turned him into a goodie two shoes, which made him too good for his own good. In school, Jay wasn't your typical popular or noticeable guy. He had friends, but out of his entire grade, you'd assume he's just a regular student. Jay knew that his classmates didn't have a similar mentality to his. He knew he had a more mature mindset than his classmates, which made him different from the rest. He knew he wasn't very popular. He was mainly quiet and reserved, and he'd just go with the motions to avoid drawing attention to himself.
   By having a more adult like mind, Jay fully understood that no one around him saw what he saw, thought something similar to his thoughts. His mentality allowed him to assess his surroundings and give him a solid understanding about what's going on. Though with an adult like mind, he still had teenage urges, such as wanting popularity, socializing, and talking to girls. He already knew it'd be difficult for him to even come close to one of those urges, but his teenage self couldn't shake the thought and feeling of what it would be like to have those urges become reality. Though, once he arrived at his freshman year, Jay's whole life started to take another turn for both better and worse.