No Control

Destruction

Life is filled with lies, deception, and setbacks. Everyone has or will face a tremendous setback in their life. Setbacks are a part of life. Defeat can lead to two completely different paths once we encounter it. The first path is to simply give up and accept defeat. The second is to hold your head up high and surpass defeat with success. Not everyone's setbacks will be exactly the same, and not everyone's comeback will be exactly the same. Jay was far too late to realize that he had problems building up all around him. He ignored all those problems, and before he knew it, everything was gone. Before this happened, remember, Jay focused only on the ups that were currently going on in his life.
Jay started to rid his problems with his new girlfriend. This situation was very much new to Jay. He never had a girlfriend, and in his eyes, she was perfect. Jay was still suffering horribly and managed to wash all his worries away through her. Anytime he had a problem, so much as a simple text from her would make Jay forget about the whole situation entirely. He was essentially running from his problems and kept his back turned from them. One Friday, Jay's girlfriend broke up with him for a reason he didn't quite understand. The reasoning behind this was unclear and lead to confusion. Jay went home that day and remained silent for the rest of the day. He thought about what he did wrong or what caused her to all of a sudden make that decision. They've been together for a while, and nothing was wrong. They never argued or disagreed, so what was really the reason behind it? That was the question Jay kept asking himself the entire time. As he sat in his room isolated, thinking, it started to hit Jay. Jay once again opened his eyes to reality and was completely stunned.
Jay had lost everything he built. Everything was all destroyed piece by piece, and all of the ignored problems came crashing down on him. Jay had lost his business completely. He had recently restocked on supplies, so he technically he lost all his money besides what he saved. He applied for a college program that didn't accept him because of one minor issue. At home, he was being pressured even more. His girlfriend left him, who he held dear to. And there were important decisions that he wasn't able to make because he had no say in any of them. The choice was still never his to make. After all the problems hit him at once, Jay felt like he had absolutely no control over his life. He felt as if defeat was imminent, that no matter what he did or attempt to do, he was still too far gone to get everything back. Jay sat on the floor, recalling almost all the events of his life. From as far back as he could remember up to the position he was in now.
Jay thought back to the younger him and started to reflect on everything that was wrong. Jay was too nice to everyone. Even those who wronged him, he managed to suppress his anger and was still kind to them. People looked at Jay as if he was weak, a pushover, someone who others deemed they could control. He always kept to himself, always quiet, minding his own business. He was selfless and wanted to help others when he couldn't even get his own life together. "How? Why? How did I go from having it all to losing it all? Why didn't I see this coming? Why was I so far behind instead of ahead? No one but me is to hold accountable. What was I thinking? That wasn't me. But it was me. Why can't I focus? Why am I always losing? I can't have anything. Why are all the choices made for me? I'm always manipulated, made a fool of, and I'm always trapped. I've done so much for people. What have they actually done for me? Where am I? Where's my power? Who am I?".
After all the agony, Jay was officially lost. He was always hurting in some way or form. As he sat on the floor, he didn't shed a tear or make any facial expression. He just sat there, lost and emotionless. Jay couldn't even recognize himself. All he could think about was how he'd fallen. Jay's mental state was unknown. He wasn't happy, sad, nor angry, just emotionally detached from himself and others. After that Friday, Jay went to school the following week. He pretended everything was okay and even smiled to his friends and teachers. No matter the problem, Jay never told anyone at school what he was going through. He'd always smile on the outside but leave everything on the inside. Once that week was over, Jay was still lost. He couldn't seem to coop with how all of what he built was destroyed. For a moment, all seemed lost, but Jay's mentality gave him insight into what he should do. His adult mindset finally became active once more, and Jay fully processed everything that happened. But something was different about this mindset.
Jay realized that his business was gone, people constantly wronged him, nothing was ever going his way, and he was holding himself back from what he could become. He decided that he was going to defy all the negatives in his life and take actions into his own hands. Jay understood what his current goals were and how to achieve them, as follows.

Retribution: Those who wish to harm Jay or block his pathway to his goals will suffer the consequences. Many looked at Jay as if he was scared to do anything to anyone. They figured he had no voice for himself. That was the case until he had enough. Now, if someone harmed Jay, he would retaliate in the most aggressive way possible. Even if the situation was minor, Jay would make it a major problem for them. If the situation would negatively impact him, he'd attack passively and quietly. If he had to become passive, Jay would harm them without ever being suspected. There was no taking it easy with Jay during this time. Whom ever it was, Jay would make it his priority to get rid of them.

Control: Although some of the choices were currently out of his control, Jay still attempted to alter those decisions into his favor. Jay wanted control over his life. He was tired of always being the nice guy, the pushover, the weak. In this fury stage, Jay wanted control of his life. He wanted to take back his power and wanted more power. Jay saw how many of the popular students had control of others, whether they were friends with others or not. Now was Jay's time to establish his base in the school. To use whatever influence he had to build his new name. Jay steadily built an empire, and almost everywhere he went, someone spoke to him, or a group of people would want his attention. If Jay needed something done, he would turn to his empire.

Fearlessness: Fear was the primary reason Jay had no real control over his life. He had always been scared of conflicts or just simply asking for help. He'd ask one of his friends to ask for him. Jay knew this was one of, if not his biggest, problems. This fear proved to be a weakness time and time again. Now was the time to stop being scared and start taking initiative. If he showed any sign of fear, Jay knew someone would try to challenge him to destroy what he was building. Jay had to come out of his comfort zone and become outspoken. This started to help Jay develop his voice, and he started to become more confident and attractive.

Jay's mindset was focused on reclamation by any means necessary. He wanted his power back. He wanted his voice to be heard. He was unknowing yet starting to be known. All of Jay's current skills were enhanced and used accordingly as he strived his way into taking back what's his. He was willing to do anything and stop anyone from interfering with his plan to become a better version of himself. Jay's mental state was still currently unknown. From this current mindset, Jay wanted destruction. He wanted to destroy the old him and let go of everything that was holding him back from accomplishing his goals. Jay actually wanted people to challenge him. He was determined to destroy anything or anyone who posed a threat to him. Jay wanted destruction.
Failure is a natural part of life. We can either accept defeat or keep fighting. If the odds seem to be against us, that doesn't determine the true outcome. Jay lost everything because he wasn't focused. Once he realized his defeat, he was on the verge of giving up completely and losing himself. He didn't accept defeat. He changed the narrative for himself and started to reclaim his losses and gain more. Nothing is set in stone. We can change the narrative and take control of lives. Whatever our situation is, there are ways for us to overcome them. We just have to find what works best for us. Jay thought the path of destruction and recreation was an alternative for him to reclaim his losses. Failure is bound to happen, but only we can choose whether or not we let failure drag us down.