A Quiet Place

7.

Kha'Mazi Noelle Carter
The Next weekend... Their birthday

I wake up to knocking on my door- more like banging. My anxiety rises, no no I'm with Grace- I'm safe...right?

My PTSD kicking in, calm down Mazi.

I take a deep breath and get out of bed. I hesitantly open the door. I flinch back when Grace, Carson, and Blake jump in front of me singing 'Happy Birthday'.

I put on a small fake smile and sign, "Thank you, Let me get ready real quick."

Grace nods and turns around leaving. Carson stands there looking at me- trying to read me before leaving. That leaves Blake, when Carson leaves she comes and gives me a hug. I'm stiff the whole time.

She pulls back with a frown, "Why you not huggin back?"

I grab my phone and type, 'Give me a minute.'

She nods slowly before leaving. I close the door with a sigh and sit on my bed. I zone out while looking at my tapestry...

12 years ago.. 6th birthday

I run to my dad's room excitingly since it was my birthday. I open his door and jump on his bed.

"Get up daddy it's our birthday!" I screamed with excitement. He promised it would be the best birthday ever.

He gets up, "Why the fuck you jumping on my bed Noelle?" He asked harshly.

I slow down my movements, teary eyed, "Because it's my birthday.." I said quietly.

He picks me up and toss me on the floor, "You think I care about you and yo brother birthday, when yall mom died last month!?"

I start crying, "But you sai-"

He yells, "I dont care what I said! Your mom is dead because of you!!"

I sob and stand up, "It's not my fault." I stuttered.

"It is, if yo spoiled ass aint cry about getting ice cream, she would still be here!!" He yelled, getting the belt.

Carson peaks his head in the room, "Mazi?"

I look over at him with teary eyes, "Please leave Carson." I said, not wanting him to see me.

He closes the door and you can hear his little feet go down the hall.

"Turn around." My dad said. He brings the belt down on my back.

I scream.

I hear knocking on my door, "MAZ!"

I try to get up but I can't, my feet are glued down to the floor. I look at my hands, their shaking. I try to do the breathing exercises my old therapist taught me but it's not working.

Fuck fuck, what am I supposed to do. What's going on, this never happened on any of my past birthdays... Why now?

"Maz, hit something if I can come in." Blake said on the other side of the door.

I wipe my face quickly with my shirt and bang on the wall.

Blake comes in looking worried, "You okay Maz?"