Those Eyes

Night watch

LEAH

Disappointment washes over me as I step into the cramped hotel room that will serve as my home for the next few nights. The air is heavy with the scent of stale cigarette smoke, and the faded floral wallpaper peels off in patches, revealing the decades of wear this place has endured. I drop my bag onto the threadbare carpet and glance around, hoping for some semblance of comfort in this dismal setting. My eyes staring at the biggest problem in this room. The bed. My heart sinks as I realize that we'll be sharing this space together for the duration of our stay. One bed, a king-size bed, but nevertheless, one bed. One bed in this one room Kat and I need to share. This is going to be a disaster. Sharing a room with a colleague wouldn't be so bad under normal circumstances, but Kat and I don't really see eye to eye.

Nailed to the floor, staring at the bed, a soft bump against my shoulder softly pushes me to the side. Kat hurries to the bed and with a somewhat flying tackle move she jumps onto it. The old wood underneath squealing while fighting for its life, making the dust jump up. Did she really had to do that? I let it sink in for a moment, as if this day just couldn't get any worse. Kat tries to lighten the situation by making jokes about the couch and the bed. She tries her best, and for once she says something funny. I force a tight smile, trying to mask my disappointment. It's not that I don't appreciate her attempts to lighten the mood; it's just that her jovial attitude only serves to highlight the stark contrast between us. While she thrives on spontaneity and adventure, I prefer structure and routine. We're like oil and water, constantly at odds with one another.

I get myself together and walk into the room, placing my bag next to the barrier of pillows in the middle of the bed Kat just made. Did she do this to comfort me or is she cocky enough to think I would try a move on her in the middle of the night. Her safety or mine? Difficult to read. I'm still wrapping my head around all this. Wanting to open my bag to unpack, my mind stops me in my actions. Realisation sinks in, I wasn't prepared to share a room, unpacking in front of Kat can cause some awkward situations. Some of the stuff I brought along is private and I would like to keep it that way. Perhaps I can ask her to go for a walk, or maybe I just must tell her whatever happens in this room, stays in this room. No, that would put very wrong ideas into her overactive adolescent brain. 'Get you act together' I mumble to myself. She is a grown woman, you are too. The both of you are going to be fine, don't assume the worse. Give her the benefit of the doubt. Mood gathered, I start unpacking my clothes, placing them in what seems to be a closet. A few wood boards nailed together with nails dating from the past century, containing some shelves and hangers. To break the silence, and take the attention away from my wardrobe, I start a conversation about what happened at Wendy's. Kat tells me about the girl who missed her period. I sure hope she was more sensitive with the girl than she is now while telling the story. My bag almost empty, the nerves are building up again. Doom scenarios bouncing in my head. What is we don't get along? What if Kat finds a woman at the tournament and brings her back to this room? Or worse, what if the pillows move during the night and one of us holds the other? Some people have the urge to hold others in their sleep.

It's time to get to the gathering, the whole group gathers by the busses as we need to get to school grounds of the hosting school. They've rented a big tent. I'm hoping this evening ends soon, it was a long day and already an exhausting period the past couples of days. Sore muscles and an agonising headache are telling me I need some rest and relaxation. But how can I? Sharing a room, which is way too small, with one of the other coaches. I fear none of us will get a decent rest this trip. Students and staff are so tired we immediately return to the hotel after dining. Mixed feelings creep up on me. I want to get some sleep, but I know I just can't. Ideas popping in my head again, making me doubt the situation I am in right now.