The Vacation Of Reconnecting

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Travis woke up to soft feather like hair tickling his neck, warm breaths hitting his chest and a hand placed flat against his skin.

His eyes opened slowly, then he looked down at the sleeping beauty curled up on him. Her leg in between the two of his and her body half resting on his whilst he kept his own hand on her lower back, holding Taylor against him.

He couldn't believe it. After spending the past 5 years of his life in regret, he finally had her close again, she was back in his arms just like the many years before everything came crashing down and he felt like the luckiest man alive.

He began rubbing his hand in circles along the smooth skin of her back, taking it all in, trying to somehow make up for all the time they'd lost. You couldn't take the grin off of his face even if you tried.

"Tay, Taylor, wake up," He whispered, bringing up his other hand from his side and wrapping his his hand around her wrist gently, stroking his thumb against her hand, "baby."

She still was yet to wake up, lips slightly parted as the peacefulness of sleep kept her lulled under.

"Taylor." He mumbled again, a bit louder, his voice slightly rough and croaky from the consumption of wine from the previous night.

This time her eyes flickered open, her head turning to hide her face in his neck, the morning light too bright for her. She mumbled incoherent words before letting out a little moan and stilling her movements once more, trying to fall back asleep.

Travis chuckled softly at her sleepy response, tightening his grip on her slightly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "Come on, Tay, it's morning," he whispered against her hair.

But then he felt it—her body stiffened against him. Taylor's breathing changed, becoming sharp and uneven as she fully woke up, the realization of where she was hitting her all at once.

Her eyes shot open, and she pushed herself off him abruptly, sitting up in the bed and pulling the soft sheet against herself to cover up. Her other hand went to her forehead, fingers pressing against her temple as if trying to steady herself. "Oh my God," she whispered, her voice tight, panic lacing every word. "Oh my God, this shouldn't have happened."

Travis blinked, sitting up more slowly, his earlier sense of peace and happiness shattering in the space of a breath. "Taylor... hey," he said gently, reaching out to touch her, but she flinched away.

"No, Travis," she said, shaking her head, her voice rising slightly. "We—this—we can't do this. We shouldn't have done this."

His heart sank. He had woken up thinking this was the start of something—something they could finally have again. The warmth of her body against his had felt like a promise, like the future he had been hoping for was finally within reach. But now, he could see it in her eyes. She was pulling away.

"Taylor," he tried again, keeping his voice calm, though he could feel the tension building in his chest. "We didn't do anything wrong. We're here now. Together."

She swung her legs off the side of the bed, running her hands through her tangled hair. "No, Travis. You know this isn't just... simple." She rubbed her temples, looking out the window, unable to meet his gaze. "We've been down this road before. You know how it ends."

Travis sat up, moving toward her, trying to close the distance between them. "That was five years ago, Tay. Things are different now. We've both changed."

She spun around to face him, her eyes filled with frustration and something else—fear, maybe. "Exactly, we've changed. But that doesn't mean we can pretend like... like this can just go back to how it was. It's not that easy."

He stayed silent for a moment, letting her words sink in. He wanted to tell her that this was going to work, that they could figure it out. But deep down, he knew she was scared, and if he pushed too hard now, he might lose her all over again.

Travis exhaled slowly, his heart heavy, watching Taylor as she got up and wrapped a stranded dressing gown off of the floor around her and paced by the window. He could see the way she was shutting down, distancing herself, and it scared him. They were so close, and now it felt like she was slipping away, pulling that wall back up between them.

"Taylor..." he started, his voice softer now, more pleading. "Yesterday... we weren't drunk. We spent the whole day together, with Poppy, and it was good. It felt right. We were acting like—"

"Like a family," she finished for him, her voice sharp. She turned to face him again, arms crossed over her chest as if trying to shield herself. "I know. That's what makes this so much harder, Travis."

He shook his head, frustration boiling just under the surface. "So why are you acting like we made some huge mistake? We didn't do anything wrong. We were sober yesterday, Tay. We weren't pretending. We were real. We had dinner together, we laughed, we—"

"Exactly!" she cut him off, her voice cracking. "We got comfortable again. We slipped right back into it, and that's the problem. It felt too easy, too natural. And then last night—" She gestured vaguely to the bed, her face tightening with regret. "We shouldn't have let it get that far. I should've stopped it"

Travis stood up, frustration bubbling over as he ran a hand through his hair. "Why? Because it felt good? Because it made you realize we could actually make this work?"

Taylor's eyes flashed, and she shook her head. "No, Travis. Because we can't just pick up where we left off. You don't just get to skip over everything that happened. We fell apart for a reason."

He stepped closer, his voice dropping. "I know we did. And I know I messed up, and you have every right to be cautious, but don't tell me yesterday didn't mean anything. Don't stand there and pretend like none of it was real just because you're scared."

Her eyes softened, her resolve wavering, but she didn't back down. "I'm not pretending, Travis. I'm being realistic. We've been through this before. We get caught up in the moment, and then everything falls apart again. I can't risk that—not for me, and not for Poppy."

The mention of their daughter hit him hard, and he looked away, jaw clenched. "So, what? We just act like this never happened? Like yesterday didn't happen?"

Taylor's voice trembled as she answered. "Yes. That's exactly what we do."

Travis shook his head, disbelief filling him. "You're seriously telling me to pretend none of it mattered?"

Her silence was his answer. She couldn't meet his eyes, couldn't bear to see the hurt she was causing him. He stared at her for a long moment, the pain settling deep in his chest. This was the moment he had feared, the one he had hoped wouldn't come.

Finally, he took a step back, his voice quieter now, almost resigned. "Fine. If that's what you want, Tay... if pretending is easier for you, then I'll do it. But don't think for a second that I don't know the truth."

Taylor's eyes flickered with emotion, but she didn't say anything. She just stood there, her hands gripping the dressing gown tightly around her, as if holding herself together.

For a moment, they stood in the silence, the weight of everything unspoken filling the room. Then Travis turned, heading for the door, leaving her standing there with her decision.

-   -

Later that day, they both moved around the house like ghosts, avoiding the conversation they knew they needed to have. Travis took Poppy down to the beach whilst Taylor made lunch and they didn't interact any more than was needed. And for now, it was enough to pretend. For her sake. For Poppy's. But deep down, Travis knew the truth. No matter how much she tried to convince herself otherwise, yesterday had been real. And he wasn't going to be able to forget it.

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sorry 😬