WHEN FICTION BECOMES FATE

Chapter 5: Guilt

2022, 28th of January
Hyosan, South Korea
Hyosan High School

"Me neither. I was scared because I didn't know how I'd feel if I heard them screaming, but I didn't hear anything," Hyorung added to Onjo's statement, and the others soon followed.

Everyone then started to get hopeful, but only when Jimin spoke. With a hoarse voice, she said, "Should she be?"

"What do you mean?" Joonyeong asked.

"She's a murderer," Jimin answered and started reciting every mistake Nayeon had made.

I silently observed them, everything I saw and heard right now made me want to give up and let myself be eaten by the zombies.

I have already died, I do not fear death anymore.

Though I do know that if I do, a specific person would probably save or stop me, he already did numerous times, so it won't be shocking that if I tried jumping out of this window, he would surely go after me.

"WHICH MAKES EVERYTHING SO CONFUSING!"

I looked at Suhyeok; he was standing beside Woojin, two attractive men side by side. It should not be occupying my mind right now, but I can't help it. Of all things that could happen, fate chose to be brutal; I met the people I adore years ago, BUT AT WHAT COST?

"We didn't tell Nayeon to go out there. We didn't tell Ms. Park to go out there either... why should we feel bad?" Jimins shaking voice brought me back to reality.

The inner dialogue I had instantly forgotten made me give my attention back to my supposed classmates.

Everyone went silent, the tension filling up the room making it too hard to breathe. Jimin was right, though, it wasn't our fault that Nayeon and Ms. Park went out, but that didn't stop everyone from feeling guilty because they knew they could've done something.

But amidst all this...

"Hey!" Suhyeok called. "I'm not sure if I should say this—"

"Then don't say it," Woojin said and harshly tapped Suhyeok's stomach who made an unreadable face.

I raised my eyebrow at him in confusion but he didn't see me. I completely forgot what was about to happen so I waited, though I did not expect what he was about to say.

"Doesn't anyone else need to go to the bathroom?" he asked, and my mouth went "O." Everyone started looking at him but didn't say anything.

It took them a few seconds to stare at each other, Daesu was the first to agree as the others followed.

I went back to watching the infected students mindlessly walk around the school grounds. I still don't know what to feel every time I observe them; they were once a living human, a student, someone's child... like me, but in my mind, all of them are fictional. They were created by someone because that was my reality but now, are they still considered fictional when they are in front of me, moving and breathing like a living person?

The knowledge I have about this world is such a blessing but also a curse.

"It's not a crime to need to poop." Daesu lowly stated.

Like I was saying, amidst all the confusion, despair, and frustrations there are still moments that you can't help but let out a smile.

For example; Daesu suggesting in taking turns to poop by the window.

Everyone was telling him that he lost his mind, but if we had no choice, for sure, they would have taken that suggestion. Especially Suhyeok, who looks very uncomfortable right now; I just feel like he would agree (probably jokingly) if he was not smitten with Namra.

He has to put up an image to impress her.

┐⁠(⁠￣⁠ヘ⁠￣⁠)⁠┌

After everyone had finished setting up the temporary toilet, they started using it one by one.

At the moment everyone began discussing how we might be rescued, most of them remained optimistic while others just felt hopeless like there was no point in expecting someone to show up and save us.

I'm talking about Namra.

When I watched this scene, I thought that what Namra was saying was true and should be expected, like she just didn't want everyone to expect too much and then be heartbroken but now that I am with them, everything she was saying was just making me drained and defeated.

The conversation only ended when Suhyeok said to wait for tomorrow because there was a low chance of being rescued at nighttime.

Currently, Cheongsan was sitting beside me, watching the moon shine down on us. It somehow felt like we were on a school camping trip and we got stuck in this room, or I was just starting to lose my mind.

"I've been meaning to ask you this but why is it that you never doubted Gyeongsu the whole time?" He spoke and I looked at him. I observed how his expression was in pure confusion; that's why I think that he was just asking since we were never close to each other, so why would I waste my energy by defending someone like Gyeongsu, who also treated me like an outcast?

"Like what I said earlier, I don't like it when someone gets wrongly accused." I gave him an honest answer.

Now that he was close to me, I could see how Cheonghan looked so tired and disheartened; Onjo had the same look. Losing a friend can take a toll on you and it just made me more guilty.

Looking down at my fiddling hands I spoke, "I'm sorry."

I feel like apologizing wasn't enough, but I can't do anything but that, I am incapable of doing something, and it hurts.

"You didn't do anything wrong—"

"No, but I could've done something... I was inside with both of them, I could've stopped her—"

Cheongsan stopped my ramblings by simply taking one of my hands into his, squeezing it softly for assurance, and I found myself feeling calmer.

It was an out-of-character move, but it didn't matter; the warmth emitting from his hands made me at ease, even just for a while.

If we weren't in an apocalypse, I would have probably been a blushing mess right now.

But if we weren't in a zombie apocalypse, this wouldn't have happened either.

┐⁠(⁠￣⁠ヘ⁠￣⁠)⁠┌

Not far from the two is Suhyeok, standing still in his place. He was watching [Y/N] and his friend the whole time, and he couldn't help but frown at what he was seeing; it felt like someone was squeezing his heart, and it was about to burst.

He started looking around to avoid watching the two, but then his eyes landed on Onjo, who was also staring at him; their eyes locked for a few seconds, but Onjo was the first to break eye contact.

Suhyeok then remembered how the two of them had an unfinished business.

(⁠'⁠°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥⁠ω⁠°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥⁠｀⁠)

Author's Note:

Hmmmm, various x reader?