Call Declined

Chapter Twelve: The Epicenter.

↜[Naruto]↝

Man, these last couple of weeks have been exhausting. Dealing with Sasuke and watching him live his best life with his new friends, it's been hard to watch. Hard to go through, while I'm still trying to figure out my feelings towards him and what that confession meant for our friendship. I mean, why would he say something like that as a joke? It's weird and completely out of character for him. That's why I believed it to be true, at first. But now he's convinced me otherwise. He's been acting like it was nothing, like it didn't mean anything. And maybe it didn't. Maybe it was just Sasuke being Sasuke, messing with me. But still, in the back of my mind, I wonder if he wasn't lying. If there was some truth to what he said. And that thought scares me.

All of it scares me—the confession, realizing how that would change our friendship, how it's already changed things between us. I miss how things used to be, before all this. When we could just hang out and it wasn't complicated. When I didn't have to wonder if he was looking at me differently, or if I was looking at him differently.

And I hate that this confession almost lost us our friendship. It feels like we're standing on a thin line, and one wrong step could break everything. I don't want to lose him, but I don't know how to keep things the same. I don't know what to do with these feelings, or if I even want to do anything about them. All I know is that things are different now, and I don't know how to handle it.

I'm trying my best to just act how I used to act around him. But that damn "what if" is still in the back of my head despite me trying to not pay any attention to it. Ah whatever. I know one thing though. I smiled to myself as I snuggled the covers to myself, remembering yesterday, well, early this morning. Him sitting right next to me as we played in our minecraft world. It was great and so different from simply calling and playing. I mean he was right here! It was fucking awesome now that I really think about it. My best friend is living with me now. That's most people's dream and I'm living it.

I wish I had spent more time thinking about that, instead of overreacting to his dumb joke. It just felt so... not a joke, you know? Like, the way he said it, the look in his eyes—it didn't seem like he was kidding. But, fuck it. He said it was a joke, and if that's what he wants me to believe, then fine. I just want my best friend back. I want things to go back to normal, to how they were before all this. So, we'll write it off as a joke and move on. Pretend like it never happened. Maybe that's the only way we can go back to being us again.

I hope it's enough.

It's around six am. I slept maybe two hours before I woke up just thinking about everything. But I think we're starting to pick up the pieces and rebuild what we once had. And that's all I really want. I know he's popular now, more popular than I'll ever be so he'd never sit at lunch with me. Which is fine, I don't want him to be associated with me anyways because it would be a waste. He has the dream friend group, hanging out with me would lower his reputation and he'd lose the dream team so. It's fine, we'll just talk outside of school.