You And I

Chapter 4: The Confusion of Feelings

The days passed quickly after the project ended, but something was different. Every time I saw Mei, my heart felt like it skipped a beat. I couldn't tell if it was just a crush or something deeper, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was falling for her.

We hung out often as a group, but whenever it was just the two of us, things felt… different. Mei had this quiet way about her, a calmness that drew me in, and every time she smiled, it was like the world slowed down for a moment.

At night, I would lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, overthinking every little interaction. Was I imagining it? Did I really like her, or was it just because we were spending so much time together? And more importantly—did she like me? I didn’t know, and the uncertainty gnawed at me.

One evening, after another long day of school, I sat in my room, replaying our conversations in my head. Every laugh, every glance—did they mean something? I tossed and turned, trying to convince myself that it didn’t matter. But deep down, I knew it did. I liked her. More than just a friend. And I had no idea what to do about it.

The next day, as I met up with Ryan and Yvonne at the usual spot, I noticed them exchanging knowing looks. They’d been acting like this for a few days now—whispering to each other whenever I was around, smiling like they knew something I didn’t.

“So,” Ryan said casually as we sat down for lunch. “Levi, what’s up with you and Mei?”

I blinked, caught off guard. “What do you mean?”

Yvonne grinned, leaning in. “Oh, come on. It’s so obvious. You like Mei, don’t you?”

I froze. I could feel my face heating up as the words hung in the air. “What? No, it’s not like that,” I stammered, trying to brush it off. But Ryan and Yvonne exchanged a glance, both wearing that knowing smile that made me feel like I was a book they’d already read.

Ryan leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. “Dude, you’ve been acting different around her. We’ve all seen it. You’re into her, and there’s no point denying it.”

I fumbled for a response, my mind racing. Sure, I had thought about it, over and over again, but admitting it out loud? That felt too real. “We’re just friends,” I insisted, but even I could hear the uncertainty in my voice.

Yvonne gave me a sympathetic look, her smile softening. “It’s okay if you like her, Levi. I mean, it’s pretty obvious to everyone but her.”

I glanced over at Mei, who was sitting with her back to us at another table, oblivious to the conversation happening just a few feet away. She was laughing at something on her phone, completely unaware of how much space she was taking up in my thoughts.

Ryan leaned in, his voice quieter but still teasing. “So, what are you going to do about it?”

I swallowed, my heart pounding. What was I going to do? Admitting my feelings was one thing, but acting on them? That was a whole different story. “I… I don’t know,” I admitted, staring down at the table. “What if she doesn’t feel the same way?”

Yvonne shrugged. “You’ll never know unless you ask. And trust me, it’s better than wondering forever.”

Ryan nodded in agreement. “Yeah, man. You’ve got to go for it. Mei’s not the kind of person to hold something like that against you. Even if she doesn’t feel the same, it won’t ruin your friendship.”

Their words made sense, but it didn’t make the idea any less terrifying. The thought of Mei rejecting me, or worse, things becoming awkward between us, was enough to make my stomach twist in knots.

Later that night, lying in bed, the conversation replayed in my head. Ryan and Yvonne made it sound so easy, like confessing my feelings was just a casual thing. But it wasn’t that simple, at least not for me. Mei and I had grown close over the past few weeks, and I didn’t want to risk losing that.

But every time I saw her, those feelings only grew stronger. The way she’d smile at me during our inside jokes, the way her eyes lit up when she talked about something she was passionate about—it was becoming impossible to ignore. I liked her. A lot.

As I stared at the ceiling, I couldn’t help but wonder if Mei ever thought about me the way I thought about her. Did she notice the way I looked at her? Did she ever feel that nervous excitement when we hung out? Or was I just another friend to her?

The overthinking kept me awake for hours, my mind running in circles. I knew I couldn’t keep this up forever. At some point, I’d have to face the truth. But for now, I wasn’t sure I was ready.

The next day at school, things were… normal. As if nothing had changed. Mei greeted me with her usual smile, and we spent lunch with Ryan and Yvonne, just like we always did. But I couldn’t stop thinking about the conversation from the day before. Every time I caught Yvonne’s eye, she gave me a knowing smile, and Ryan kept nudging me with little comments like, “So, you gonna tell her yet?” It was driving me crazy.

As the day dragged on, I kept stealing glances at Mei, wondering if today would be the day I finally said something. But every time I thought about it, my stomach twisted, and I chickened out.

Before I knew it, the school day was over, and I was walking home alone, my thoughts still a jumbled mess. I knew I couldn’t keep this up forever. Something had to give. But for now, I was stuck, caught between wanting to tell her and being too scared to take the plunge.